When he says something like this is he in love or in sane???

[littlestar]

When the ex and i were together we discussed the possibilty of him being put away in gaol for sometime due to the fact he had commited some crimes in the past (before he met me)

 

The crimes were serious and could get him locked away for up to 3 years.

 

At the time i did tell him i loved him and i hoped it wouldnt get to that but if it did i would wait for him and we can write each other everyday and i would call and visit as often as i was allowed to (and i really meant what i was saying)

 

And he said 3 years is a long time, i said 'i know but i love you and i am willing to be here for you and support you through this the best way i can'

 

Then he turned around and said "Ahhh i dont think you will wait, you're just saying that. But that doesnt matter because when i get out i will hunt you down wherever you are and kill the new person you're with so i can be with you, you see how much i love you babe, i'd do that just to prove i love you"

 

At the time i thought he was joking but when i looked over at him, he was dead serious, i didnt say anything and just looked away.

 

By him saying this is he in sane???

 

Another time he told me he believed he got so angry at times and didnt know how to control his temper that he believes he is capable of actually killing someone.

 

On other occasions we'd be out and about and he would say things "This looks like a good opportunity for a good stabbing"

 

This is far from normal isnt it?? He has some mental issues or some obsession with harming/killing people???

[waveseer]

I'm not saying that he isn't capable or anything of the sort and people will tell you who they are if you listen carefully.

 

On the other hand, it sounds like he was just talking tough.

[Mock Chop]

And you're sitting pining away over this guy? Painfully counting the days you've been in NC?

 

Ummm........why, exactly?

 

I think your inability to move away emotionally from this guy is a reflection of much deeper issues. Why on earth would you invest so much emotion and time into someone who could say cr@p like that?

[littlestar]

There was more to him than just the bad side, he did have a good side as well and that's the side of him i love, adore and want back.

[MyheartorHis]

But hun, that just doesn't seem like a good or very healthy situation at all...

I think you need to revaluate everything.

[littlestar]

But hun, that just doesn't seem like a good or very healthy situation at all...

I think you need to revaluate everything.

 

I dont want to make excuses for him but i do think all the drugs and alcohol he was taking had a lot to do with it.

 

He had troubles sleeping at night, thinking there were people walking around outside his window at night. I think it was all in his head.

[MyheartorHis]

I dont want to make excuses for him but i do think all the drugs and alcohol he was taking had a lot to do with it.

 

He had troubles sleeping at night, thinking there were people walking around outside his window at night. I think it was all in his head.

 

Well the question you need to ask yourself is if this is what you want? Are you willing to spend all your time waiting on a guy who has a lot of baggage? It's going to be hard for him to get a good job with a criminal record. If you think it's drugs and alcohol that has done this, what do you think he is capable of? Do you think yourself to be in any danger? What if things got out of hand? Is this something you want to get really involved with, emotionally attached?

 

What if you guys date for however long, you wait for him to get out of jail, and it has messed him up even more? There are a lot of things to think about...

[itsallgrand]

You know from his criminal offense he is capable of something the courts would take very seriously. 3 years is a long time.

 

You don't say what his offenses were, but the nature of them gives yet another clue as to where his head was at. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a continuation of this theme of violence in his criminal history. Not only in his words to you.

 

A person can try to hide but eventually who they are shines right through. I wouldn't make the assumption to say he is crazy - but it's pretty clear he has/had some serious issues.

 

Those are the big ones that take years to work through - if they get worked through at all. A lot of times, they simply are not (worked through).

 

I'm so glad you are not in contact with him anymore. A chill literally went up my spine thinking this was the man you were with and have been speaking about, that you were around him and dealing with him in an intimate way.

[littlestar]

Well the question you need to ask yourself is if this is what you want? Are you willing to spend all your time waiting on a guy who has a lot of baggage? It's going to be hard for him to get a good job with a criminal record. If you think it's drugs and alcohol that has done this, what do you think he is capable of? Do you think yourself to be in any danger? What if things got out of hand? Is this something you want to get really involved with, emotionally attached?

 

What if you guys date for however long, you wait for him to get out of jail, and it has messed him up even more? There are a lot of things to think about...

 

I do love him and if he was willing to accept his faults and see where he went wrong and get help i would be with him in a heart beat.

I dont think i would personally be in any danger. He ended up getting off with a good behaviour bond and never went to gaol. But if he mucks up again there wont be no second chances again.

[Batya33]

It wasn't the drugs and alcohol - it was his choice to take drugs and drink excessively, his choice not to get help for that, his choice to commit a crime (unless he is mentally ill, but in that case he wouldn't have risked jail, but would have been put away in an institution) and his choice to make threatening remarks about hurting other people with knives, etc.

 

I think his comments should be taken in light of his values when it comes to being law abiding and treating other people in a humane way -- neither of which he seems to value. Everyone draws the line at what "faults" they woudl accept in someone else - I see that your line would include being ok with him hurting someone else (or threatening to, which you say he has done), abusing drugs/alcohol and breaking the law - if that is the case, that is your choice of course but decide whether you are willing to put yourself at risk of serious physical harm or worse, or risk jail time yourself (because of course if you hang around with someone like that you can find yourself in trouble as an accomplice or at least having to defend yourself against accusations).

 

Have you considered giving him resources where he can get help with his drug/alcohol abuse and anger issues?

[DN]

If he didn't mean what he said - he's just weird.

 

If he did mean what he said - he is both weird and dangerous.

 

I think you should look for someone who isn't either weird or dangerous.

[Mythical_Suicide]

If someone told me (even in a joking manner..) that they'd hunt me down for any reason much less say they'd kill the person I was with.. I'd run away as fast as possible.