Shudder Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Now before all the nice guys and pua wannabe jump on the bandwagon and say its not a way to go.. I'm not talking about the typical friend.. where the guy does everything for the girl, will sacrifice his entire life to do anything the girl wants just to get into her pants.. but more like a friend with a backbone and a life. so not always jumping to her rescue whenever she needs you.. saying you got other plans when she wants to hang etc, but still making time for her occasionally and poke fun at her when the situation calls I ask this question, cause I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was saying all this stuff.. I don't know how whether it works, since i've never tried it... Link to comment
laisla Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 my more successful/meaningful relationships were with guys i was friends with first. there was always a little attraction in the beginning, but things never started off as dating for those better relationships. as long as she doesn't see you as a brother....it should be ok. Link to comment
purpleduckie Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 sometimes? there's really no foolproof way. it also could be a good way to meet other girls though. the typical friend is not where the guy does everything for the girl, will sacrifice his entire life to do anything the girl wants just to get into her pants. that's the friend that every girl is scared of. Link to comment
hmdreamer7 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Yeah, you can never tell, it happens for some and it doesn't happen for others. It depends on your situation with your friend. If you want to ask her on a date, I say just go for it! Link to comment
hazelnut Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Now before all the nice guys and pua wannabe jump on the bandwagon and say its not a way to go.. I'm not talking about the typical friend.. where the guy does everything for the girl, will sacrifice his entire life to do anything the girl wants just to get into her pants.. but more like a friend with a backbone and a life. so not always jumping to her rescue whenever she needs you.. saying you got other plans when she wants to hang etc, but still making time for her occasionally and poke fun at her when the situation calls my more successful/meaningful relationships were with guys i was friends with first. there was always a little attraction in the beginning' date=' but things never started off as dating for those better relationships. as long as she doesn't see you as a brother....it should be ok.[/quote'] My best relationships that had the deepest most unconditional love and respect for another were from these types. Unfortunately, they happened to not work out for other reasons but they are possible. But these types of r'ships are the best. Even if you end up walking away from each other. Link to comment
Casperlady Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I prefer being friends with guys before getting with them i feel more comfortable then the last to guys i was with we were friends first and altho i know one still likes me but i dont fancy him anymore we get on really well and i dont care if he goes off with girls we have fun and thats it the second he hurt me but i forgave him and we are really good friends we are really alike so have the best craic together. I like being friends cause even though things might not work out then at least you have a good friend at the end of it all rather than losing that person forever even tho when you first break up it doesnt always seem that way. I am probably not explaining myself well but i prefer to be friends first than not but then again thats just me Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Now before all the nice guys and pua wannabe jump on the bandwagon and say its not a way to go.. I'm not talking about the typical friend.. where the guy does everything for the girl, will sacrifice his entire life to do anything the girl wants just to get into her pants.. but more like a friend with a backbone and a life. so not always jumping to her rescue whenever she needs you.. saying you got other plans when she wants to hang etc, but still making time for her occasionally and poke fun at her when the situation calls I ask this question, cause I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was saying all this stuff.. I don't know how whether it works, since i've never tried it... Well I'm not sure if it always works. But it does work lots of times from what I hear. I think there needs to be somewhat of an attraction already, even if it's not really romantic. With my current bf we began as online friends, and we used to talk ALOT. We quickly realised we had alot in common and similar points of views. We remained as friends, and dated other people all this time for about 2 yrs till we finally decided to go out together and hang out more. Over the course of 2 months we realised we liked each other offline too. But thanks to the friendship we had all that time, and us staying friends for those 2months and just hanging out in person... it made things so much more special and the bond we felt was stronger. Other bf's/dates I had, resulted from either us meeting and dating right away. Or for instance a class mate who later became a bf. We would talk at school, flirt and be friendly. And over a few months we began dating after finally meeting for a date. So far the best relationship has been with my current bf. Link to comment
rbr85 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Friends first can work if you are TRULY JUST FRIENDS and then attraction develops. Friends first does not work, if you are sexually attracted to them, and you lie to them and yourself by pretending that you don't want more. Link to comment
Nutz Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Now before all the nice guys and pua wannabe jump on the bandwagon and say its not a way to go.. I'm not talking about the typical friend.. where the guy does everything for the girl, will sacrifice his entire life to do anything the girl wants just to get into her pants.. but more like a friend with a backbone and a life. so not always jumping to her rescue whenever she needs you.. saying you got other plans when she wants to hang etc, but still making time for her occasionally and poke fun at her when the situation calls I ask this question, cause I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was saying all this stuff.. I don't know how whether it works, since i've never tried it... You just described how I am with any women I'm interested in. The only difference is I show my intent and turn up the heat sexually. Otherwise you're lying/decieving her by not making your intentions known. She'll think she's got a friend, then WAMMO!, it turns out a guy "friend" (like you are describing) is just another guy who secretly wants to get in her panties. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 My longest LTR (4 years) started as being friends. We were friends for 2 years before we started dating and none of us had even a slight interest more than friends when we met (well, I know that I didn't have and I wrote what she said but as always...beware of sayings ;-)). So, yes it is possible. Link to comment
Shudder Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 You just described how I am with any women I'm interested in. The only difference is I show my intent and turn up the heat sexually. Otherwise you're lying/decieving her by not making your intentions known. She'll think she's got a friend, then WAMMO!, it turns out a guy "friend" (like you are describing) is just another guy who secretly wants to get in her panties. lol well i have no idea.. i was just told this from another friend.. so i was wondering what everyone else thought.. and whether it works.. Link to comment
Alabama Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 It does, but to put it simply, it's a case by case basis. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I only did the friends first once, unintentionally - he was my friend's friend, we saw each other a few times at parties, and then kept in touch by email while my friend was traveling around the world. I had no idea he was interested and actually no idea I could be interested in him - just was off my radar. Then he asked me to dinner one on one and it all changed. I never agreed to any "friends first" arrangement with someone I just met. I get to know someone as friends and romantically by going on dates whether or not anything physical happens right away or even early on. I never had time for "friends first" when I was looking for a serious relationship and the suggestion made me wonder why that was necessary- did he think that dating meant sex or did he just not want to put in the effort to take me out on a date and be able to test things out without that effort? Or, the "I've been burned before so I want to take things slow" - that's fine - to me that works best if you go on dates once a week and you take things slow as far as intimacy. If he's that scared that he can't even do that then to me he wouldn't have been available for a potentially serious relationship. Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Now before all the nice guys and pua wannabe jump on the bandwagon and say its not a way to go.. I'm not talking about the typical friend.. where the guy does everything for the girl, will sacrifice his entire life to do anything the girl wants just to get into her pants.. but more like a friend with a backbone and a life. so not always jumping to her rescue whenever she needs you.. saying you got other plans when she wants to hang etc, but still making time for her occasionally and poke fun at her when the situation calls I ask this question, cause I was talking to a friend of mine, and he was saying all this stuff.. I don't know how whether it works, since i've never tried it... I was friends with my significant other for 2 years before we realized our mutual chemistry; we hit 2 years this past christmas eve. Relationships require romance, attraction, trust, respect, and genuinely liking each other in order to work and friendship has the last three built-in. Don't enter a friendship with the intent on starting something but go in with an open mind if you're attracted to them and it may grow into more. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 it can work. pretty lame game to play to get a girl though. Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 it can work. pretty lame game to play to get a girl though. Agreed, if you go into the friendship just to get a girlfriend, it's best if there's no actual interest at first then grows into more like in my example. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Friendship is a big deal for me. One thing I love about my relationship is that he really is my best friend. Do we need to be friends before dating? Not really. I would never date within my group of friends, I've seen that ruin groups. Also, typically, when a guy becomes a friend, he usually becomes completely neutral in sex to me. Most people are asexual to me and, thereforee, I am not attracted to them. So, I never date close friends. Sometimes date just outside of my circle of friends. And, sometimes date people I am not friends with. I prefer to date just outside of my circle of friends though because it feels safer, we already have mutual friends, and it's easier to know what you are getting into when accepting a date. Link to comment
bostonbruins24 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 it can work. pretty lame game to play to get a girl though. That's true,I can see becoming attracted to an existing friend but to try to be a ''friend '' to someone you are interested in would be defintely not the way to go and it probably wouldn't work. Link to comment
.thumb.jpg.2d93ce2472f26b01a1e185382ba0b64e.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.78735a344a3340a866dda54f465baebb.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.