littlestar Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Just wondering what each individuals views are on sex. Is it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? How do you feel about have f buddies? Just those sorts of opinons. I know when i was younger i couldnt wait to lose my virginity. And when i did it was the most amazing time of my life, i felt like i was truly a woman! Strange feeling. I've had one nighters and sex while in loving/commited relationships. I've also had f buddies. For me personally sex is something enjoyable. I prefer sex with someone i know versus i dont know. I dont mind having sex just for the sake of it, without any emotional attachment, as long as he is not bad looking and has good hygiene. What are your views? Link to comment
Kalika Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I have never been in love so I don't know how sex is when someone's in love.. but personally I had F buddies and did fine with that. Wouldn't hop into bed with someone I just thought was attractive though.. I'd at least have to know them a little bit!! I lost my virginity when I was 15 and high, and it was to this guy that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole now. I never placed much emphasis on virginity in the first place, but I sure am sorry I lost it to that sorry piece of UKnowWhat. Link to comment
Cardinal Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 My primary experience has been FWB and relationship sex. I have been quite pleased with both types. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 For me there has to be something there, whether it's love or whatever but there has to be a "spark" for me to even consider having sex with someone. An f buddy isn't for me, but when I was single I always wished I could put my emotions to the side and have one. But am glad I don't have to worry about that now Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I have never been in love so I don't know how sex is when someone's in love.. but personally I had F buddies and did fine with that. Wouldn't hop into bed with someone I just thought was attractive though.. I'd at least have to know them a little bit!! I lost my virginity when I was 15 and high, and it was to this guy that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole now. I never placed much emphasis on virginity in the first place, but I sure am sorry I lost it to that sorry piece of UKnowWhat. Funny you say that about your guy. I look back now on my first guy and i think ewwwwwwww LOL He was terrible, at the time i didnt know what i was doing, so it was all nerve wrecking for me. He thought he was 'the best' i had a few after him i realized just how terrible he is! LOL Link to comment
Tezza Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Is it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? No, not necessarily, but it should be done when you are in a relationship with someone... Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? Yeah, why not... How do you feel about have f buddies? As long as each person knows what they expect of each other and nothing more, then this is ok... So long no one gets hurt. I have only been with 2 people (I am 28 years old now) and I was in long term relationships with both of them... Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I have only been with 2 people (I am 28 years old now) and I was in long term relationships with both of them... Me too, but I'm 29. My friends can do the FWB thing, but personally, I can't. I don't think I'm emotionally capable to just keep it at sex. I need an emotional connection before a sexual one. In each of my long term relationships, I actually had to turn them down the first time and tell them I wasn't ready yet. Neither of them understood, but they waited anyway. Link to comment
hiphop3 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Is it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? i don't think so. sex can be experienced in many different ways and situations. i don't think it's a bad thing to explore those possibilities. Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? yeah i think it's fine as long as you're safe. but i don't think i'd sleep with some one i wasn't physically attracted to, that doesn't make sense to me. How do you feel about have f buddies? i'm fine with it, as long as you're on the same page. it seems really risky though. Link to comment
Haven Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I've never had sex with someone I didn't know. But I have had one-night hookups with friends, f buddies, and friends with benefits. I've since realized that I can't have sex without getting emotionally attached, so I strongly prefer having sex in the context of a long-term relationship. Link to comment
greywolf Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 hmm... I've only had sex with one person. I don't like to say that I would never do a certain thing, because I have found out that it doesn't usually turn out to be true. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a virgin until I got married. I changed my mind and decided I would lose it to someone I loved. Then one drunken night I had sex with someone I didn't even know that well. hahah Link to comment
thejigsup Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 When it comes to sex, it's all good. Is sex with love the best? Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. Link to comment
doomed Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 As a man: Sex has proven to be an impossible goal so far (22 yrs). That said… Is it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? No. I’ll take what I can get. Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? Yes. I’ll take what I can get. How do you feel about have f buddies? Fine. For the love of God, I’ll take what I can get. Link to comment
waveseer Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Sex without an attachment can be really, really good but with an attachment can be so good it will make you cry. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I don't quite get the point of all the people who want to loose it to someone they get married to - what happens if the one turns out to be awful in bed (like doing it in the same possition for the rest of their life) or even likes to do stuff that the other person might find disgusting??? I think sex is a thing that should be done before marriage in order for the marriage to work even better or to see if it will work out... Sex isn't the most important thing, but it still plays an important part... Personally I'm a one-night fan, a lot of the chemistry that's going to take place in the bed can be seen from the way I have a conversation with her beforehand... Link to comment
Rose21 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 For me, sex has never been when I wasn't in love. With my ex, he was my first. He was very manipliative, I THOUGHT I was in love at the time, which is the only reason I said yes. Months and months later, I realized that it wasn't love. But the fact that I waited til I was 18 and in a relationship was the goals I had set for myself. My 2nd, and last partner is my boyfriend. He was a virgin, and we waited 2.5 months. I wanted to be sure I was ACTUALLY in love with him. We fell in love after a month, and when we had sex for the first time it was great, and it keeps getting better and better a year later!=) I couldn't do FWB (I've tried, no sex included, and I always got terribly attatched) And I could never do a hook up or a one night stand or anything like a 3-some. It has to be love for me, otherwise, I'm cellibate or do anything but sex. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Sex has so many definitions for me. I have come to consider myself a chameleon of sorts because I have found it so difficult to define myself. So, nearly all definitions of sex I can understand and appreciate. -Tender love making -Passionate yet scary -Naughty -forbidden -innocent -me dominating -him dominating -animalistic -fun and spontaneous And many more I have yet to even discover. I like all these definitions and, if I don't have to chose, I will practice all of them as I see fit. Pretty much the only definition I do not agree with is me feeling badly about myself afterward. Sex, in no way, lowers my value nor the value of my partner. I am not ashamed of my sexual side and never should be. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I would have to be in love. That's just me. My ex considered sex like a "hand shake" you do it early on to see if you are compatible. I should have made him wait. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 s it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? I don't know about anyone else - for me, only when I was in love and saw serious and strong potential for marriage. I never appreciated being judged by people who thought I should view sex as just something fun, or for a physical release and without "hangups". I find that certain people who enjoy and crave casual sex have serious hangups about emotional intimacy and the presumption that I am not as 'free" about sex because of my values makes no sense to me - I feel freer to express myself sexually in the context of a serious, loving, committed relationship. Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? No. How do you feel about have f buddies? For me personally it would be repulsive and a huge turn off - zero interest. For others sure, whatever, although I find that women often lie to themselves and tell themselves it is a relationship, or that they are "friends" with the person, or use other euphemisms to reveal their actual discomfort with it when in reality it is just two people meeting up to try and have an orgasm. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Also, I have to add that I could only have sex with someone I was in love with. Maybe in the future that will change but, for now, couldn't do it. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I feel in regards to sex and who they have it with, there is no right and wrong. I have my opinion, and others certainly have theirs. I do what feels ok with me, and I know to some it may be seen as taking it too seriously. Is it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? I like to do it that way. Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? I doubt it. I've done it before. But looking back I regret it. I feel like we're both just using each other. Seems pointless, then again if I'm single again someday my opinion will probably change lol. How do you feel about have f buddies? I'd rather avoid it. Used to have someone I used to make out with and all, and I used to do it b/c I truly liked him. Ended up heartbroken. I usually only am open sexually with someone I trust and really love. Otherwise I'm not a touchy feely person. Also I'd like to add, I've noticed that I feel it would be best if people waited as long as possible to lose their virginity. Lost mine at 18, and don't feel I really knew what I was doing (I wasn't even in a loving relationship at the time, just reallly liked the guy). 14 Yr olds losing their virginities (or even younger) makes me a bit sad. And I also think it doesn't make a huge difference at what point in a relationship 2 people sleep together. It does make a difference though if you both get to know each other first on a non physical level, vs jumping in the sack right away.. Link to comment
TBE_1989 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Is it something to be done only when 2 people are in love? For me, yes. I would only have sex with someone that I loved or at least was dating. That doesn't mean I judge others that sleep with people when there are no feelings involved, though. Are you ok with sleeping with someone you dont know or love but find attractive? See above. I wouldn't do it myself, but I understand why others do. How do you feel about have f buddies? I'd never avail of a FWB myself, but wouldn't be adverse to fooling around with a trusted aquaintance in a time of a lot of sexual frustration. I wouldn't go as far as intercourse with anyone I wasn't in love with, but other stuff - if I was really horny and had an attractive guy who i could trust and who knew it was just fooling around - I would consider. Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I would prefer it, along with any physically intimate act, in the context of a committed relationship with some semblance of security as to a future, I see no reason to share of myself with someone unless we connect on a multitude of levels and only after it's certain that the relationship isn't going to end shortly (would feel like a waste for me otherwise). I feel FWB and F-buddies are a waste of time and energy when, usually, one falls for the other and causes more problems than fixes. If other people want to then more power to them; but I see it as fruitless in the long run. Link to comment
definitely_maybe Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I have conflicting feelings about sex. The Christian values that were instilled in me as a child say it is bad (outside of marriage), but as I have drifted away from church, I don't know how I really feel about what is right and what is wrong. Personally (as a virgin), I kinda feel that sex is too risky to just mess around with. Link to comment
Taomagicdragon Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I'm Roman Catholic but also a student of Taoist Philosophy so my religion is a bit more cavalier and liberal among catholics. Canonical doctrine was, in the early church, more about pragmatic protection than it was about morality. No sex before marriage was an idea brought up to help stem the tides of venereal diseases prevalent at the time and so was ingrained into religion; the most common form of media at the time in order to get the word out fast. I have no qualms about canonical law dictating matters of faith but hold little stock over the ones that were, essentially, protective measures for an uneducated populous. Link to comment
definitely_maybe Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I'm Roman Catholic but also a student of Taoist Philosophy so my religion is a bit more cavalier and liberal among catholics. Canonical doctrine was, in the early church, more about pragmatic protection than it was about morality. No sex before marriage was an idea brought up to help stem the tides of venereal diseases prevalent at the time and so was ingrained into religion; the most common form of media at the time in order to get the word out fast. I have no qualms about canonical law dictating matters of faith but hold little stock over the ones that were, essentially, protective measures for an uneducated populous. Interesting insight. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment
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