Should I send a sympathy card?

[abitbroken]

Well...my husband left me in October and has had no contact except divorce papers being sent to me and one or two emails to cover his butt.

 

Not to rehash the whole story, but if his sister and mom hadn't gotten their noses into things, we would have either went to counseling and had a less violent breakup, or we would have gone to counseling and would be together today.

 

Anyways, several years ago my sister in law divorced her husband. He had a problem that he admitted and asked for help with - he realized he was addicted to painkillers. He had some severe chronic pain from an accident. He admitted to her and himself and started seeking help. She basically told him she wouldn't be married to a "junkie" and divorced him.. I felt really badly for him.

 

Anyway, his father just died. They were very close. I saw it in the paper. Would it be harmful of me to send a note of condolence. Either online through the guestbook the funeral home set up or a physical card?

 

I genuinely feel bad for him not just for his dad but how the family all ganged up on him and kicked him out which is exactly what happened to me (excpet i wasn't involved in kicking him out - there is just a zero tolerance for counseling or anything that involves forgiveness in that family).

 

I guess I just don't want to make any waves with the family that I am now being divorced out of. I don't know why that would bother me!

 

Maybe because if he ran into them, he would ask what happened/why i am writing from a city different than my husband. But who knows.

[laisla]

i personally think it's fine...you're not trying to be close friends with him, it's merely to show your sympathy....i would do it.

[scornandtorn]

I would let it go. I don,t want any interaction with my ex, whatsoever.

[avman]

I think a sympathy card is very appropriate.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, by all means send it. Has been cast out of that prize-winning family as you have been so you sending a sympathy card has nothing to do with that family and you don't have to tap dance around them in this matter. That family sounds like a bunch of bullies...you are no longer part of it so don't give it another thought...reach out to this man in his hour of need..that is what being human is all about...sadly your ex's family doesn't understand that.

[thorpe]

Examine your motives. If it is truly to express your sympathy send the card.

[TBE_1989]

I would let it go. I don,t want any interaction with my ex, whatsoever.

 

Yes, but that's your ex.

 

I would send the card.

[Up and Down]

I think you should send one. Seems like a genuine and hearfelt thing to do. Times like these can be very trying on ones soul and it's things like this when you know you are loved and cared about that help get you through it.