Is there a difference between self confidence and self esteem?

[gary1958]

Just a question... I have always been a very confident guy but sat in an emotionally abusive relationship for 2 years when I new very early on I should have left. Are self esteem and confidence to different beasts??

[waltwhit]

maybe this will help:

 

I think you can have strong self confidence without self esteem, however I think it is impossible to not have self confidence if you do, in fact, have self-esteem.

 

In fact, I think that if you have self confidence without self esteem, in many cases, that self confidence can just be a defense mechanism for insecurity.

 

If you constantly find yourself landing in abusive relationships, I think you need to analyze your self-esteem. in other words, do some serious soul searching and find out if you are happy with who you are. And if not, one of the best ways to improve your self esteem, is to start doing things for others. However, these things should be in a broad sense and should not be contained in the context of a relationship.

[Samedy]

Self-esteem is related to how you feel about yourself internally. Self-confidence is related to how likely you feel you are likely to succeed at something...

[COtuner]

Self-esteem is related to how you feel about yourself internally. Self-confidence is related to how likely you feel you are likely to succeed at something...

 

This is pretty much the definition I live with.... people are sometimes surprised to find out I have low self esteem because I'm very cocky and confident about my abilities. My self-confidence can be high until it crosses an area where I have low self esteem.

[laisla]

to me, self-confidence is the way you are oriented toward actions. self-esteem is the way you're oriented to thinking and feeling about yourself.

even though confidence does have a lot to do with feelings/thoughts as well...ultimately it guides our actions.

 

This is pretty much the definition I live with.... people are sometimes surprised to find out I have low self esteem because I'm very cocky and confident about my abilities. My self-confidence can be high until it crosses an area where I have low self esteem.

 

i am similar. i would say i have a good level of confidence. i am not very shy and have a take-charge attitude toward many things. i have a bit of daringness in me. it's noticeable.

however, i do not have high self-esteem.

[real_life_101]

Just a question... I have always been a very confident guy but sat in an emotionally abusive relationship for 2 years when I new very early on I should have left. Are self esteem and confidence to different beasts??

 

Dont Sweat it Gary, We all go through it at some point or another. We sometimes stick with relationships that we are taken for granted, only for that fear of being alone, but once out and you get out of that panic phase things get alot better. I think it's the process we guys feel as if we failed. Sometimes you can do all you can, and have to give up. I myself have done this, we are brought up to think if we try really hard and do the best we can things will improve, in Relationships and dating, that is not always the case. You cant make someone love you. Next time around be flexible, but not to the point where you are walking on eggshells to please someone. Both self esteem and Confidence come and go through out life, anyone who tells you different has not been through lifes ups and downs. Keep your chin up it will get better.

[COtuner]

Nice response RL101

[Kinetics]

Hrm...I feel good about myself and the things I do onto others, I know my strengths and weaknesses, so I know where my limits lies. thereforee I know what I am confident at, and what I am not confident with.

 

But 'something' drops when I am not acknowledged or I get backstabbed for my actions, like...what the hell did I do wrong, or am i just not good enough for (whatever)? Would this 'something' be my confidence dropping, or my esteem dropping?

 

People keep telling me I lack a sense of confidence, and that's not true. Perhaps I don't project it as much because I hate to be perceived as cocky and/or arrogant (which some people pointed out long time ago). I would think it's natural for people to be down when something doesn't quite go the way we want, and then the argument some people bring up the issue of self-confidence or self-esteem. I'm not sure if that's necessarily a valid argument.