CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 My boyfriend got into a fight tonight with some random guy at a gas station, he said the guy yelled at some other guy and he stepped in the guy got in his face and then they all started to fight. He said that the guy dropped his wallet and that he is going to use the money to buy himself a new suit that he ruined. I didn't agree that he take the money. We had a big argument and some how he called me a dumb bitc... He said that he needs the money and I said if you are going to use the money for anything it should be for the bills... but I actually feel bad for even using the money for some reason. So he said that I was being stupid because he ruined his suit in the middle of the fight and he needs it to work. So now he isn't talking to me and I'm crying and just lost on how he could call me a dumb bitc,,, Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I can't believe my 29 year old boyfriend is fighting with some idiot..well that makes them 2 idiots I guess. sigh Link to comment
laisla Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 okay stay calm. i'd say to give it some time before you guys do anything about the relationship. he is stupid for fighting but it happens. let him calm down from that and then deal with the relationship. it's VERY rude for him to call you names. has he ever done it before? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 no but I told him that he's a dumb a** for being old and fighting and I think he got defensive and had to call me a name. Since he never calls me names it burns. We live together to what do I do just ignore him and hold all these feelings in? Link to comment
laisla Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 try to do something else for now. when you both cool off then talk about it. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I said some really hurtful things, I have been under a bunch of pressure from losing my job and trying to work on our 6 year up and down relationship. I really do love him but lately things have been hard as hell Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 he insuniuated that I might be seeing another guy and where he got that from I have no idea. IT WAS A HUGE FIGHT Link to comment
tin_tin Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I dont think its a sign that you will be breaking up. So try not worry to much. I expect he said it in the heat of the moment, and the old red mist kicked in due to the fight. Still gives him no right to call you those things though. Has the name calling ever been a recurring thing?? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 That's called stealing, he needs to do the right thing, and return the wallet. Do you really want a future with a guy that gets into brawls, steals, and calls you a dumb * * * * * ? Even if this is the first time he's called you names, I can assure you more will follow. You need to do some serious thinking, and please be careful! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 That's called stealing, he needs to do the right thing, and return the wallet. Do you really want a future with a guy that gets into brawls, steals, and calls you a * * * * * ? Even if this is the first time he's called you names, I can assure you more will follow. You need to do some serious thinking, and please be careful! OMG I know, but its like he is not usually like this and I think he is so down with being broke and feeling like crap WHICH IS NO EXCUSE. He has never called me a bitc. I don't even know what to think right now so I guess I do have a bunch of thinking to do you know? We have been through so much lately that it sucks and I just want the best for him and me. I can tell he feels bad about it but he still isn't talking to me. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I called him a bunch of names and then said "why am I even with you" so yeah I'm no angel to be honest Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 so he went to the store and he has been there for like 25 minutes, I call him and I say " are you coming home tonight or what" he says " of course I am coming home why would you even ask me that" I'm like HELLO you are pissed off at me!" I am no good at relationships..even after being in one for like 6 years. Right now I took 4 shots of Vodka and I don't even know what to do with myself. I am so frustrated you guys. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I need someone to talk to and I don't have anyone to talk to Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 someone stop me ahh, I called him and made him tell me he loves me just because I knew he was in front of his friends. I need to get a grip don't I? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 okay I'm done acting immature and insane. Link to comment
Be happy D Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Calm down. Him taking the wallet was wrong. Was it the guy's wallet he got into a fight with? He probably thinks this is a way to get back at him. You don't agree with it, you voiced your concern, now drop it. With regards to everything else, that was your fault. You insulted him first, you said bad things to him, you questioned why you are with him etc. Maybe he was feeling defensive when he implied you're cheating on him. All in all, it seems everything said was not meant. He's wrong, but you sure as hell are too. You need to STOP yourself. You're provoking this as much as he is. My advice: When he gets home, simply apologize for what you did wrong, whatever you feel it may be. Tell him you didn't mean any of that, it was because you were angry, and will try not to fight again. See if he does the same. If he does, be happy... that means he felt the same way and was just angry. If he doesn't apologize as well, don't force it out. Just go to sleep or something, ignore him until he's ready to apologize for what he said to you. But don't continue the fight. Don't keep messing with him, just ignore him. If he doesn't apologize after a while, perhaps *rationally* bring up why you're still mad at him and ask him why he hasn't apologized. If he's too stubborn to apologize or honestly doesn't agree he was wrong too, well it's your call what to do. Just my two cents. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 he said he would be back 2 hours ago, I went to the store he said he was going to and he isn't there. He lied and now he isn't answering his phone. I think its over, now. We had this fight at 6pm and now its almost 9 and he isn't how when he said he would be right back. I feel totally disrespected and I can't take this abuse Link to comment
laisla Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 CoCo give it timeeeeeee. you are both not in the right mood to talk. sleep this night and fix it tomorrow. seriously. he was really mad from the fight today, so he came to you. that resulted in another fight, so now he is taking time to escape the situation at home. let him cool down. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 gosh I can't believe he still isn't home or answering the phone, maybe he isn't coming back until he comes back to get his stuff. I wonder who he is with. Link to comment
UCLAMike Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 seriously no offense but you need to grow thicker skin. Guys say this all the time when they are frustrated just as girls call guys a-holes and jerks. It doesn't really have any meaning behind it I dont understand why girls get so worked up over it. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 seriously no offense but you need to grow thicker skin. Guys say this all the time when they are frustrated just as girls call guys a-holes and jerks. It doesn't really have any meaning behind it I dont understand why girls get so worked up over it. Ummm.....Maybe it's a age thing, I don't know, but...NO ONE calls me a "dumb bit**", and if he did, well...he'd get one more chance, after being told never to call me that again, and if he did it again...next! Sorry, but I strongly disagree with you here. It's one thing to be able to take criticism, roll with peoples' bad moods sometimes, etc., but developing a thicker skin does NOT mean taking peoples' nasty name calling in stride. Nope. I would never call someone I love an "a-hole" or a "dumb ba**ard", and I would expect the same treatment in return. My parents have been married for over 40 years, and while they have had A LOT of arguments in that time, my father has NEVER called my mother anything even close to "dumb bi***". I was raised not to accept name calling as a normal, natural argument "strategy." Granted, it sounds like the OP and her bf both took part in the argument, but the getting into a fight and taking the guy's wallet...that does NOT sound like a mature, responsible person. In essense, he STOLE that guy's money, and I can totally understand why she confronted him with it. I'd question the ethics/morals of a person who would justify stealing from someone else because he was having financial troubles. Link to comment
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