jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I spent New Year's Eve in the ER... the ex couldn't even bother to call to see if I was okay, that hurt. Instead, he proceeded to get plastered with his friends, as usual. So, after a very long winded fight today, I decided to cut him off completely. I deleted him from my phone book, from my myspace, from my buddy lists. I'm done. I feel like absolute garbage, but it's bound to get easier. I know it's for the best. I don't think I'll ever find anyone who I connect with on such a deep level as him (which is why I haven't been able to let go), but at least I'll be able to find someone who can give me the love, time, respect that I need. Sigh. He always went on about how his ex was the crazy one but honestly, I think it was him. That's all... Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 ILMBC, I'm sorry the ex turned out to be a douchebag, and that it had to end this way. BTW, didn't a guy come with you to the ER and stay with you there (or maybe I am thinking of another poster)? If so, maybe that is one avenue you can pursue. Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Yeah he did. He gave up his NYE plans of going out of town to be with his friends for a boys'-night-out to be there for me. I guess that just sort of tipped it off. Someone out there is willing to make sacrifices for me. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Yeah he did. He gave up his NYE plans of going out of town to be with his friends for a boys'-night-out to be there for me. I guess that just sort of tipped it off. Someone out there is willing to make sacrifices for me. nothing says love like the ER Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I am sorry you spent NYE in the ER. I hope you are okay. Well, at least this gave you the push to cut him off. You will be better off. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Yeah he did. He gave up his NYE plans of going out of town to be with his friends for a boys'-night-out to be there for me. I guess that just sort of tipped it off. Someone out there is willing to make sacrifices for me. True, sounds like a nice guy. Do you have plans to see him again? Link to comment
enchanted771 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I know its hard, but I am sure its for the best. I have yet to do that even. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 True, sounds like a nice guy. Do you have plans to see him again? maybe on a trip to the dentist.....just kidding. he was a real gentleman to do what he did Link to comment
hers Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Good for you jenn. I'm really happy to hear this. If you feel yourself getting weak & wanting to contact him, vent to me. Now come take care of me. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I'm happy to hear this girl. You are a tough cookie you will make it. Besides, you had a great guy spending the night at the ER with you, you don't need your ex around! Link to comment
simply complicated Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I can't stand inconciderate people, especially one thats supposed to be with your SO, thats rediculous, that would be the push I would need to get rid of someone to, good thing you did. He sounds like a waste of time anyway. Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you everyone... I feel so lost... I can't stop crying. This is the hardest thing (relationship-wise) that I've ever had to do... When we were physically together, the relationship was perfect, we never fought (little bantering bicker at most).... sigh. I just don't know... I damn well plan on moving out to Berkeley or Hayward for grad school (depending on my grades)... and I told him by then it will be too late but I'll be out there and he'll have missed his chance. Victoria, I do believe there's more than one person for everyone too, thank you. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 ILMBC, you're a strong woman to be able to do what you did. I commend you for it. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you everyone... I feel so lost... I can't stop crying. This is the hardest thing (relationship-wise) that I've ever had to do... When we were physically together, the relationship was perfect, we never fought (little bantering bicker at most).... sigh. I just don't know... I damn well plan on moving out to Berkeley or Hayward for grad school (depending on my grades)... and I told him by then it will be too late but I'll be out there and he'll have missed his chance. Victoria, I do believe there's more than one person for everyone too, thank you. You are a beautiful girl with a big heart, you will find someone else who deserves you. Keep your head up sweetheart. Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 You are a beautiful girl with a big heart, you will find someone else who deserves you. Keep your head up sweetheart. Thank you =) That's really sweet. I KNOW I'm a good person, I do the right thing ALWAYS. And I know he doesn't deserve me. I'm sooo sick and soooo crabby and this was just the push I needed to tell him off. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I KNOW I'm a good person, I do the right thing ALWAYS. And I know he doesn't deserve me. There ya go The strep was good for something, Hehe Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you everyone... I feel so lost... I can't stop crying. This is the hardest thing (relationship-wise) that I've ever had to do... When we were physically together, the relationship was perfect, we never fought (little bantering bicker at most).... sigh. I just don't know... I damn well plan on moving out to Berkeley or Hayward for grad school (depending on my grades)... and I told him by then it will be too late but I'll be out there and he'll have missed his chance. Victoria, I do believe there's more than one person for everyone too, thank you. No matter how much fun two people have talking, going to dinner, doing fun outings etc. the true test of a relationship is when life is not so fun. There is nothing fun about sitting and waiting in the ER...but when you really care about someone that is what you do when they are in the ER or in the hospital. Better you found out about that side of him now. I have known married couples who don't bother spending much time with their partner when the partner is in the hospital about to go in for surgery and post surgery. That's when it really counts...to have a reliable partner who will be there for you to provide moral support during the scary times. Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hahah, everything happens for a reason, huh? *swallows* ouch. Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 No matter how much fun two people have talking, going to dinner, doing fun outings etc. the true test of a relationship is when life is not so fun. There is nothing fun about sitting and waiting in the ER...but when you really care about someone that is what you do when they are in the ER or in the hospital. Better you found out about that side of him now. I have known married couples who don't bother spending much time with their partner when the partner is in the hospital about to go in for surgery and post surgery. That's when it really counts...to have a reliable partner who will be there for you to provide moral support during the scary times. I agree completely... A 2 minute phone call asking, "are you okay?" would have even been sufficient. But, alas, partying and drinking was more important than finding a quiet spot to give me a quick call. He's 30, by the way... I'm 22 in a week... I feel like I'm the mature one. It's sad. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I agree completely... A 2 minute phone call asking, "are you okay?" would have even been sufficient. But, alas, partying and drinking was more important than finding a quiet spot to give me a quick call. He's 30, by the way... I'm 22 in a week... I feel like I'm the mature one. It's sad. I feel ya on that one. My ex was 7 1/2 years old than me but was the "child" in the relationship and preferred to party, get drunk and all that than taking a few minutes out of his night to even as much as call to check on me or his son even. Men (excuse me.. boys..) like that deserve a kick in their happy places. Link to comment
laisla Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 hey, i'm glad you're taking the right steps to treat yourself well. he surely has lost a good girl and a good friend. hugs Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I feel ya on that one. My ex was 7 1/2 years old than me but was the "child" in the relationship and preferred to party, get drunk and all that than taking a few minutes out of his night to even as much as call to check on me or his son even. Men (excuse me.. boys..) like that deserve a kick in their happy places. UGH, I can't believe how slow some people are to mature.... I was willing to make such sacrifices for this guy. He couldn't even make a damn phone call!! School starts Monday. Today's Friday, so that means I have tomorrow and Sunday to get myself prepared for what's in store Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Jen -- I don't *know* you, but I have to say you are a very wise woman, especially for someone your age. (Not to say that younger people can't be mature, but...well...I'm pushing "old lady" status here, and I know a lot of people my age who aren't nearly as down-to-earth and smart as you are.) You will DEFINITELY find that person who is right for you. I too thought my ex was "the one," and I still struggle, I still cry sometimes, because can't shake the feeling that he was. But...practically, and logically, I know that there is more than one "one" out there for everyone, and the universe has a way of letting us know that. I hope you are feeling better. I read your sore throat thread, and I felt sooooo bad for you! I am glad you made it to the ER, and I wish you a speedy recovery. Link to comment
jengh Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you SO much for your kind words!!!! Seriously, that is such a sweet post and I appreciate it immensely. Eventually, life will go on for both of us... There MUST be someone out there who will treat us the way we deserve to be treated. I don't know what to believe when it comes to a "Higher Power", but I do feel like the universe has something in store for good people =) Thank you! Link to comment
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