LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 You are having a great time laughing with a man on a date n he tries to get a little closer to you physically after 2 hours, rubs on your shoulder softly, holds your hand, pulls you closer to him, touches your cheeks, your hair. If you are shy n soft-spoken like me, you are into the man but don't want to get closer just as yet, what would you do? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 tell them it's going to fast for your pace. is he still sitting close to your right now when you wrote this? what did you do? Link to comment
Traveler27 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Just tell him in a really sweet and gentle way that you like him a lot and enjoy being with him, but need more time to get close physically. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Tell him that he is going to quickly for you. Sorry but you are going to have to cause a little bit of confrontation here. I know it is difficult being shy and all, but it is the only way. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 tell them it's going to fast for your pace. is he still sitting close to your right now when you wrote this? what did you do? Come on, why would he be sitting close to me here? He touched my shoulder. I didn't pay much attention to it. We were looking at lights from top and IMO, I was standing quite close to him. He said "do you mind if I hold your hand?" Me after a pause "I would prefer to wait" Him "even to hold hands?" Me "yes" Him "okay... I respect that." Me "thank you. I appreciate it." Him "atleast stand closer. I'll feel really happy." Me giggled and said "hey, I should feel happy as well, right?" After a while of silence "so you like to get physically close to women on your 1st date?" Him "come on, this is so romantic, I like my company, I'm just being in the moment." Me didn't say anything. But he didn't wait long. We were walking. He held my hand and said "see, this doesn't feel that bad. Does it?" Me "but I need time. This is our 1st date." Him "Its been 2 hours since we are together." Me "just look at the lights. See how beautiful it looks. Doesn't that make you happy?" Him "Ya, but I'll be more happy if you let me hold you." Me looked straight into his eyes "No, I'm sorry, I need time. I believe in taking things slow. If you have a problem with that then I don't know what else to say." Him "No, I'm just kidding." Me "doesn't look like so. You seem to be upset." He kept playing with my hair while I was driving. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Was he drunk? Seems rather pushy. I wouldn't like that. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I probably would have gotten rude with him at that point, and decided not to see him again. He wasn't respecting your wishes, even though he said he was. Sounds like he was trying to get laid. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 well, you started the thread asking for advice on what to do. you handled great if you ask me. he sounds a bit too forward for you though. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 By the end of our date, when he was holding my hand, I told him that I don't want him to misunderstand. I didnt' say I like him. I really wanted to but honestly I didnt' like that he touched me even when I told him that I want to wait for a while. I was just happy being in the moment. I didnt even think of touching him or proceeding to another level. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 well, you started the thread asking for advice on what to do. you handled great if you ask me. he sounds a bit too forward for you though. Ya, I did want to ask for advice. I want to know if this happens again how I can face it. This has never happened to me before. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 is he still sitting close to your right now when you wrote this? what did you do? bwahahaha... sorry... but that was damn funny! Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 just be really clear on what you are comfortable with and see if he respects your wishes...if not i would not go for a third date... Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 you handeled it really well! whats with this dude acting like this on the first date.. first date can leave a lastin impression on how the person may act in a relationship. he sounds really clingy and pushy. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 Was he drunk? Seems rather pushy. I wouldn't like that. No, he said, he doesn't drink. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 i hope that he is being called clingy or pushy or whatever only because he kept touching Tinu even after she said she is not comfortable. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 just be really clear on what you are comfortable with and see if he respects your wishes...if not i would not go for a third date... Ya, I don't think there will be a 2nd date. He finds me too slow, I guess. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Ya, I don't think there will be a 2nd date. He finds me too slow, I guess. that sounds negative towards you...how about you find him too fast and pushy... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 i hope that he is being called clingy or pushy or whatever only because he kept touching Tinu even after she said she is not comfortable. Why else would we say that? Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Tinu after how many dates would you be comfortable for a kiss? Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 that sounds negative towards you...how about you find him too fast and pushy... Ya, I would say too fast. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Ya, I don't think there will be a 2nd date. He finds me too slow, I guess. The guy seems either needy or looking for a lay. Neither are things that YOU want. He didn't reject you. You are rejecting him. Give him one more date (dinner at a restaurant or something else public. Just in case). Then, decide if YOU want him. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 But really, my Q is: is it normal to hold hands with a girl, grab her by waist and pull her closer to you a few hours into your 1st date? Do men here do that? I couldn't physically resist when he pulled me close to him, but I didn't reciprocate. In my car, he said "don't tie your hair. Let them loose." and started touching my hair while I was driving. On our way he asked "so, will you be thinking about me on your way back?" I was in such an awkward position. I couldn't act rude, I couldn't say yes, I just smiled and kept my eyes on the road. I made it clear before going to see him that it would be only a few hours. I never promised a dinner date. He said "oh, its almost 9. Lets go for dinner." When I politely declined, he said, "Don't worry, you can live with us (he was visiting his friend's family) for tonight. He has 2 bedrooms. You can drive back to your place tomorrow morning." I said "I appreciate your concern but I'll get enough rest after driving n can go back to work tomorrow". Before leaving he said "no hard feelings." We shook hands but he wouldn't let go of my hand. He kept rolling his thumb on the outside of my hand and said "Your hands are so soft." I said "I know that." I was really expecting him to say something else, like I enjoyed talking to you, I want to see you again, something like that. I was truly disappointed when he said nothing. It was quite a lot of feelings n emotions for me to handle there. I was trying to steer my way through all that and make sense of what was going on. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 ^^^ The only guy who was that forward with me was a guy who had directly asked me for sex later in the night. Not normal. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 ewwwwwwww Tinu... there are lot of red flags here.... i am pretty sure that it is abnormal for a guy to ask if you will be thinking about him on the way back... he is coming on to you way too fast. now this guy is sounding like the previous one.. the one that asked if you are jealous about him talking to other women... Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 ^^^ The only guy who was that forward with me was a guy who had directly asked me for sex later in the night. Not normal. oh my! ... Link to comment
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