Most of her stuff is gone, can I start healing now?

[blindreepr]

I think I can. After she's cheated on me, hit me, emotionally and verbally abused me and driven me to do things I never thought I would I think it's time to finally call it quits.

 

Most of her stuff is gone, there are only a few things left here, stuff she will pick up within the next few weeks.

 

I think this time it's different. She's cheated on me before, then broken up with me, but the other times I was waiting for her to come back. This time I'm waiting for myself to come back.

 

When I called one of my good friends last night to tell them that she had broken up with me, I actually told them that I called to tell them to good news.

 

She was kind enough to delete her myspace, livejournals and other online profiles were I'd be able to find out any information about her. That was something we had talked about before we broke up. That we should both delete everything online so make it so we could both quit each other cold turkey. She'll probably still have an easier time getting over me than I will her, but I think I've finally stepped foot on the path where in the past I never even thought about it.

 

Getting back together with her was always in the back of my mind. Now its like a little sliver of light in my mind where as before it was the thing I thought about a majority of time. I guess I'll wish to be back with the idealized version of her that I have in my head for a while, but the truth is that my heart is starting to finally agree with my head that she was never that idealized vision that I had of her.

 

People have told me that she'll come back, sooner rather than later, because of the financial hole that she will be in without me. I hope that is not true, because I don't want to end up back with her and end up with a broken heart yet again.

 

She brought out the worst in me, made me forget who I was and who I want to be. I need to figure that out now.

 

The worst part is that I'm stuck, living in this studio apartment, truly alone for the first time in my life. No roommates, no friends in the city, no family, nothing. I hope that maybe the extremely low place that I'm at will be a mirror image of where I will be in a few months time, and by mirror image I mean that I hope things will be as high as they are low right now.

 

The more pain, the more it makes your stronger right?

 

I will rise above. I will succeed. That will be the best revenge.

 

I want to be happy, now I just need to learn how to allow myself.

[servedcold]

Most of her stuff is gone, there are only a few things left here, stuff she will pick up within the next few weeks.

 

Get all this stuff out ASAP. Mail it to her if it's mailable, if not figure some way to get it out. The next few weeks is not good enough. The episode you had over the last couple of days will likely repeat itself then and put you back to square one. It looks bad now, but time will heal. Get out of your place and get some exercise, join a group if possible, stay out of your place as much as possible, not sitting around. After that stuff is gone do not take her calls, emails, texts, etc. You can turn a process that could take months into a process that will take only weeks if you do these things. Best wishes.

[blindreepr]

Get all this stuff out ASAP. Mail it to her if it's mailable, if not figure some way to get it out. The next few weeks is not good enough. The episode you had over the last couple of days will likely repeat itself then and put you back to square one. It looks bad now, but time will heal. Get out of your place and get some exercise, join a group if possible, stay out of your place as much as possible, not sitting around. After that stuff is gone do not take her calls, emails, texts, etc. You can turn a process that could take months into a process that will take only weeks if you do these things. Best wishes.

 

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately because of the size and lack of transportation I have no choice but to keep her stuff here. I guess I could throw it outside, but I'm not going to do that.

 

The dramatic episode we had will not be repeated. Her friends will be here with her picking up her last few things, and that will prevent either of us from doing anything crazy.

 

While seeing her one last time probably will set me back a bit at least I will be able to know that it will truly be the last time I see her again. We do go to the same school, but she is pretty much only taking art classes and taking them in the evenings, so I won't even be on campus at the same time as her.

 

I do not plan on taking her calls, or texts, in fact I am seriously considering changing my phone number. So that the only way she can get ahold of me is through email. After that I only have one more correspondence planned. And that is to let her know the results of my test for HSV2.

 

After that, it's finished.