introspect Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Just wondering. I feel like I want it but if it's going to sacrifice my relationship with my girl, I wouldn't. She is apprehensive about it.. I mean she would do it to make me happy, since she's the only girl I've slept with (and it's not the same for her.) But, she's also worried about it messing up our relationship Anybody want to share thoughts or experiences? Link to comment
hmdreamer7 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 If you and your SO are both open and willing to participate in a threesome, then it should be fine. But if she's apprehensive, that's an issue the two of you should resolve before going any further with the idea. Do you know what she means by 'messing up our relationship?' Is she afraid she's not giving you what you want, or maybe she thinks you're getting bored with her? If you do go ahead with it, then it should be with someone with whom you are both comfortable, and both have an attraction to. Everyone should enjoy it! Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. Unfortunately you probably won't know until it's happened. But you can often have a pretty good idea of what will happen by the personality of the people in the relationship. The fact that your gf isn't really happy about the idea says that maybe it's best left unexplored for the time being. That she says she would do it to make you happy is a big sign that you shouldn't. A massive one in fact. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 if she's apprehensive about it, then yeah i'd say it'll probably ruin your relationship Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 you're girlfriend has to WANT to do it, for her, and not just to make you happy in order for it not to interfere with your relationship. if she does it just to make you feel happy, then in the end she may end up resenting you for it. do threesomes screw up a relationship? for some it might. personally, i couldn't do it while in a relationship, but that's just me. if you do it, you guys may want to set some ground-rules prior in order to keep her comfortable. for instance, she may want you to watch the other girl, but not touch. so you have to be open to that possibility. good luck. Link to comment
russ978 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Don't do it. It might very well end up more awkward than a great experience and the aftermath from it might be more than most relationship can handle. If you're both open to it, it can be a great experience but if she'd doing it because it is one of your fantasies, chances are that it won't be something that strengthens your relationship in the slightest. Would you be cool doing it with another guy? Chances are than the way you feel about that is the way she feels about doing it with another woman. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 If your girlfriend is apprehensive about it, don't do it. It can ruin your relationship or it could make you stronger. However, is it worth the risk? Link to comment
introspect Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 Would you be cool doing it with another guy? Chances are than the way you feel about that is the way she feels about doing it with another woman. lol you got me there. My girl is enough for me. However, there's nothing wrong with fantasizing, as it hasn't happened yet. Everyone's right... it really isn't worth the risk and I would rather wait to try something that she actually WANTS as much as I do. Also, we are both two very jealous people, so that's what she worries about. Who knows, we might not be able to look at each other the same afterwords. So yeah, I've concluded one night of fun isn't near worth killing the relationship with the girl I love. Thanks everyone Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I have to ask. Are you a female with a girlfriend? If so are asking to bring in another female or a male? Are you a male with a girlfriend? If so are you asking to bring in another female for both of you to be with? She is apprehensive about it.. If she is apprehensive then I would seriously re-consider this. Make sure you are both in this for the right reason and that you fully communicate about it. Make sure to discuss the possible emotional responses. Even then you need to make sure you are each able to stop at any time. And that by stopping she isn't going to be "punished" or made to feel guilty. I usually tell people to enjoy their sexuality. Dont live with guilt, shame or insecurity. But you also need to be realistic. Human emotions are involved and not everyone is capable of handling this type of situation emotionally. I would be concerned about her reasonings for having a threesome. Only doing it for you is probably not the best of reasons. If she was interested in exploring the woman as well or even had an interest in watching you, then that would be different. But sexuality in a relationship should be done together. The goal is to please each other. You know she would do it to please you, but at the same time, if that is her only reason, you know it wouldn't really please her. Then you know that this type of activity is not for you at this time. You really need to make sure both of you are on board with this activity. You should really make sure she is an active participant not just going along .. because. Good luck. Link to comment
blue69 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 What your girl is not enough for you? Sorry I just find that perverted when someone is in a relationship. And what is wrong with perversion? Link to comment
introspect Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 I'm a girl with a girlfriend and would maybe like to try bringing another girl in. I'm down for trying new things... Our problem is that, she has had many exes and past sexual experiences as opposed to me, where she's my first girlfriend and the first and only person I've slept with. So if she accepts to do this, I am not sure if she's doing it because she feels guilty that she has more memories than me or something. Then again, I also feel like since she's had so many experiences that she is ready and okay with settling down, and me, I can't help but wonder what or who else is/was out there for me... So I am itching to try new things. Link to comment
Wolf_22 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Just wondering. I feel like I want it but if it's going to sacrifice my relationship with my girl, I wouldn't. She is apprehensive about it.. I mean she would do it to make me happy, since she's the only girl I've slept with (and it's not the same for her.) But, she's also worried about it messing up our relationship Anybody want to share thoughts or experiences? It all boils down to each other's values. There are no universal constants in relationships as each person within a unit is different and has different outlooks in life, but to make matters worse, people change, too. You need to discuss this with her. If she is against it, but you are not, then what you need to ask yourself is, "Will this cause me to leave her?". Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I'm going to be the person to say it, have you seen Chasing Amy? Link to comment
introspect Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 I'm going to be the person to say it, have you seen Chasing Amy? LOL, yes, I see where you're going Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Group dynamics 101: three equals disaster. If two is not enough for you, do four. In your corner. Link to comment
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