jerk chicken Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 ARGH, this is giving me such a headache. ive been NC for 5 days so far, he txt saying "happy new yr" but it was prob to everyone in the phonebook, apart from that nothing. EXCEPT I keep checking his fb page, we r not in a relationship on there anymore but we are still friends. I also know his facebook and email password... i have only logged onto his once but am tempted right now, what can i dooo!?!? Link to comment
Loki71 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Don't feel bad. I have been borken up since mid nov and still check my ex's myspace even though I can't see all of it I check to see what kind of mood she is in. We are friends and I still care. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 I dont want to be his friend tho, he asked me to be friends when he broke up with me and i said no i cant, i feel that if i delte him off facebook i will just log into his Link to comment
penelope13 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 if you don't want to be friends with him anymore, then don't check his fb either. i know it's hard to do, but you could just "unfriend" him on fb. you can always reconnect later once you are over him emotionally. as to his password: do not use it, I would even let him know that you have it, so he can change it: that would show respect for his privacy and would leave doors open for a potential friendship in the future Link to comment
Loki71 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 if you don't want to be friends with him anymore, then don't check his fb either. i know it's hard to do, but you could just "unfriend" him on fb. you can always reconnect later once you are over him emotionally. as to his password: do not use it, I would even let him know that you have it, so he can change it: that would show respect for his privacy and would leave doors open for a potential friendship in the future Agreed tell him so he can change it and problem solved. Link to comment
SighSob Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 DO NOT check his facebook...unfriend him! And tell him to change password! It will prevent A LOT of unnecessary pain! Link to comment
manup7228 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 block his facebook altogether. it will save you a lot of pain and torture. plus once you block it, do not unblock it just to look at his profile picture. trust me, i have made it my new years resolution to not check my ex gf facebook ever again, unless we are on friendly terms. you should do the same. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 he knows i got the password so i dont really wanna msg him 2 say oh u shuld change it cos i cant stop looking at it! Link to comment
jcrisph Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 block him...stop looking at his page. or stop going on facebook. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 i know, its just addictive,i wanna kno if he tlking to anyone new etc etc, he hasnt been on for 3days tho Link to comment
jcrisph Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 yeah i think you need a break from facebook. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Do not check his facebook. regardless of whether you have the information or not. It isn't fair to him that you can't control yourself. Link to comment
sadstuff Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Eventually you are going to see something that you will wish that you havnt.. when I found out my ex was seeing someone else I forced myself to stop looking at his and her fb because I was so scared of seeing pictures of them! Ive started up again.. I know how addictive it can be.. but it only leads to pain.. Link to comment
Hurting5050 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 For me it was MSN -- for some reason he never deleted me so I would leave it on 24 hours a day and check it endlessly in hopes of him logging on. You are just prolonging the hurt by checking his facebook -- and also invading his privacy if you log into his account. How will it make you feel if you see him talking to other people? Why would you want to put yourself through that? I deleted and blocked my ex from facebook right after he changed his status to in a relationship with his new gf. At the time, I couldn't bear to see him moving on, it was too painful. Link to comment
TBE_1989 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 OP - Do you use Firefox? If so, a godsend is : link removed I wonder if there's been any psychological studies done into social networking sites and the problems they cause in people's lives. I mean, yeah, we all know about the obvious bullying and scams that go on them, but on a smaller, less dramatic level. How they prevent people from healing after breakups or how they can breed obsessive behaviour in relationships and friendships. I think everybody who's trying to heal on here can categorically say that their breakup would be easier if the ex did not have something like Facebook or Myspace. It's been seven months for me, seven months in NC, too, and I'm doing so well, yet, first thing I do every morning is check the myspace to make sure he's still single.*Weird, eh? :s It's so crap that every second thread in this section seems to have 'Facebook' or 'Myspace' in the title...I really wish there was some study or research done into this! *To those following my story, yes, I posted a thread about how my ex had a new gf, but turns out it was a misunderstanding on my part, and, he is, in fact, still single. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I wonder if there's been any psychological studies done into social networking sites and the problems they cause in people's lives. I mean, yeah, we all know about the obvious bullying and scams that go on them, but on a smaller, less dramatic level. How they prevent people from healing after breakups or how they can breed obsessive behaviour in relationships and friendships. I think everybody who's trying to heal on here can categorically say that their breakup would be easier if the ex did not have something like Facebook or Myspace. It's been seven months for me, seven months in NC, too, and I'm doing so well, yet, first thing I do every morning is check the myspace to make sure he's still single.*Weird, eh? :s . You can't blame social networking sites for people abusing them. It isn't the networking sites fault that people can't control their obsessive urges of checking up on their exes. They'd do that regardless of whether they had access to the sites or not. Yes, it may make it easier but if it wasn't for the site, they'd be driving by their house, asking their friends, etc etc.. The sites don't prevent people from healing, the people prevent themselves from healing. The reason there is no study or research done is because it's completely irrelevant and no reason for it. As for you, you aren't doing too well if you still continue to check his myspace page. You've become obsessed, not a healthy habit. Link to comment
TBE_1989 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 As for you, you aren't doing too well if you still continue to check his myspace page. You've become obsessed, not a healthy habit. I've been crying since reading your post, but thank you. After all my introspection and self-analysis over the past seven months, I've failed to realised that I'm becoming obsessed..... Link to comment
blindreepr Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 this is why I'm glad that me and my ex talked before hand that if we broke up we'd delete our myspace/facebook/livejournals It's only been 2 days since the breakup but I'm hoping it make things a bit easier Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 it scares me that u still hurting after 7months!! i want to feel comftable being alone on valentines day n thats only a month and 2 weeks away... ive only cried 3 times since he broke up with me, and im not in a deep state of depression or anything, people at work say they cant tell how i feel. i just feel sad and keept hinking about the good times that wont happen anymore. i dont thinkits facebooks fault but it just makes it easier for peeple to obsess where before facebook/myspace we wouldnt know what they were upto unless they called Link to comment
JadedStar Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Change his password on the accounts you know them on and that will make him have to change it again, and that way you wno't have it. You should never be checking someone else's account PARTICULARLY if broken up. no good will come of this, for you or him. It's actually not even legal to be going into someone else's account. Link to comment
dur-LiveIt Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I am getting a bit impatient with reading about everyone allowing the obsession of breaking up to linger in these social networking systems. Just STOP going to them! Enough said. No excuses. Link to comment
jerk chicken Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 not a necessary post, if i could stop it that easy i wouldnt have to complain about it Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 not a necessary post, if i could stop it that easy i wouldnt have to complain about it Delete your account. It isn't as hard as you are making it out to be. You don't have to visit his page to be complete you only think you do. Just stop going to it. Simple as that. Link to comment
dur-LiveIt Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hey Jerk Chicken, Sorry to offend you, did not mean to. I hope you find your way through this. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 BTW, if you're still checking his facebook.. You aren't really following through with NC Link to comment
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