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Exes and Contact around the holidays


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Ever since this has happened I have been trying to figure it out...and am not sure what it all means...and unfortunately I am still wishing for a reconciliation with my ex...


My ex-boyfriend broke up with me three months ago after a two and a half year relationship...he said that his feelings changed and he just didn't feel in love with me anymore. Well...he also pleaded with me stay best friends with him, and since this was my first relationship and break up I knew that I didn't want to lose him in my life completely....well that was a big mistake. Everything was too fresh for both of us and just wasn't the best way for me to deal with the break up. A month after we broke up he told me that he wanted to live life without me for a few months because it was too painful for him to be around me and wanted to figure his feelings out, which I didn't really understand considering he was the one who broke up me due to his feelings not being there anymore.


Well...about a week after that he began "dating" one of my friends who had just recently broken up with her boyfriend of six months( who happens to be like a brother to me) to date my ex. Both her ex and I have helped eachother through this as much as we can, and are both hurt and betrayed by what our exes have done.


Towards the end of November she sent me an e-mail wanting to know how I was doing and if I was survivng life....I couldn't believe her and knew that I couldn't respond because I would have said some things that I shouldn't have, so I didn't. Well, a week or so after that she instant messaged me and began asking me about life, how I was doing, etc. I felt like she was trying to pry into my life to see if I was over my ex. But I just kept my answers simple and didn't give her much of any information because it just seemed too fishy to me. I wasn't sure why she was initiating contact with me when she knows that my ex wants nothing to do with me...it all just seemed odd.


Well, her ex was on-line a couple days before Christmas and she began talking to him. He was happy to hear from her because she gave him the okay to begin going to her church gatherings so he can see some of the friends he made while dating her. But the thing that made him the most happy was the fact that she told him "Merry Christmas".


So I guess what has had me thinking is why she contacted her ex during the holidays...but my ex didn't contact me. It seems like they would both be on the same wavelength and would have some sort of truce not to contact their exes. I am proud to say that it has been two months since I have seen or contacted my ex...and I feel great...I have been getting out and doing things, and exercising and slowly putting my heart back together, even with how much I miss him and am a little betrayed by my friend for dating him even when she knew how much he means to me.

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I don't know of any couples that duplicate one another's behavior, especially regarding something as miniscule as texting a 'merry christmas' message--so why even make this a blip on your radar?


We all have days when recovery from a breakup go better than others, but a perfect way to drag yourself into a pit is to focus your imagination on craggy details about your ex's life that don't really matter.


Head high, and push forward with your eyes on your own paper. Consider yourself too fabulous to care what either of those losers do--your revenge is that they deserve one another.


In your corner.

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