RedWingsFan Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I've met a woman, and we've hit it off very well lately. Nothing physical has happened. I asked a mutual friend what she thought about the prospect of me and this woman. Her reply was that, "I think she'd be a good girlfriend for now. Not for long term." This doesn't make sense to me. Why would I invest energy (and money, too!) in a relationship that would likely fail (in her humble opinion)? Do people think like this ("Oh, he's not good for me in the long term, but he's good for now!")? My entire family has long-lasting, committed relationships. Am I just drawing from my family experiences? Your thoughts, experiences, or words of wisdom? Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 i wouldn't invest what you said if i saw no future....but i might hang around a while for the company Link to comment
lana111 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 ive recommended that before. my reasoning was this male friend of mine was attracted to a friend of ours. i though the two of them could go out and have a lot of fun, but that it should def 100% be a casual thing bc i just knew the two of them and they didnt have what i knew they each needed in a serious partner. no wrong in dating someone and seeing what comes of it even if youre friend is right and it ends up being fleeting... Link to comment
hmdreamer7 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Yes, some people do think that way. It can depend on a lot of reasons, including what a person is doing in life or what their priorities in life are. A lot of people date casually, and a lot of people date with the intention to start a serious relationship. But you most likely think the way you do because of your family experiences, you've been brought up around those kind of relationships, thereforee you naturally always look for that. This friend of yours though, is giving you an outside opinion. Maybe she knows both of you and your personalities, or has seen you two together enough times to feel that way. It's just her perspective on the situation. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I have to wonder why someone would say to their friend, "oh what the hell, go for it even though it won't last". If I didn't think they were a suitable match I would just say so and let the person involved make the decision. I wouldn't encourage anyone to have a "just for now" partner. I think that is very unfair to the other person who would have no idea that they are simply being considered "just for now". Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 i've had a 'just for now' partner when it's clear that we enjoy each other's company, but it's pretty clear that things won't last due to circumstances. or if there is say - 4 months left before i have to move accross the country, a relationship might be good for just now, not to try to make it into something long term. Link to comment
RedWingsFan Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 i've had a 'just for now' partner when it's clear that we enjoy each other's company, but it's pretty clear that things won't last due to circumstances. or if there is say - 4 months left before i have to move accross the country, a relationship might be good for just now, not to try to make it into something long term. It's the reasoning of why you'd engage in such a relationship that confuses me. You obviously like this person to some degree. Wouldn't it pain you to depart from this person? In essense, I don't understand why someone would enter a situation where they know there is a high likelihood that they will fail. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 my friend used to call it a "transition girl"....gets you from one you wanted to marry to another Link to comment
Maya_A Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Did your friend say/did you ask why she said that? That might shed some light for you. Nevertheless, it is your potential relationship and your decision to make. Only you can decide as things go on... Besides it merely being another's limited perspective, there are intimate things about your own self & also about your potential partner (should you grow closer) that only the two of you will know, that make the difference also... Take it day by day, listening to your own heart, mind, wisdom... Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 It's the reasoning of why you'd engage in such a relationship that confuses me. You obviously like this person to some degree. Wouldn't it pain you to depart from this person? In essense, I don't understand why someone would enter a situation where they know there is a high likelihood that they will fail. well, in one situation, we enjoyed spending time together, had fun, i was learning a lot from him about stuff, but given our backgrounds, i thought there was a 1% chance of being together long term. i think that anything can happen, but i was pretty sure he wasn't "the one." but it was fun while it lasted. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 how do you know it will fail? it's just what some friend said. you can make it last as long as you want to if you are compatible enough. Link to comment
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