technologic Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 ok so i broke up with my girlfriend because we couldnt see eachother often but now we can however she has moved on. and her boyfriend treats her like garbage and they are always in a fight. i talk to her almost daily i really want her back because she is the only thing i think of. ive tried to move on myself but i cant. any advice please! thanks Link to comment
simply complicated Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Well, her BF treating her like shyte which is a perfect opportunity for you, be that shoulder to cry on, give her advice, let her know she deserves better than that, but only talk about it when she brings it up, treat her like gold, show her she can do better, and she'll figure out whats best for her on her own. Thats all you can really do, don't make it too obvious that you want her, but let her know that your there for her, things will eventually fall into place. Link to comment
technologic Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 thank you very much ill try very hard to take your advice. if anyone else wants go give more advice please! thanks. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Be there for her when she is at her weakest and lowest so she can start to realize you're the one for her! Link to comment
technologic Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 yeah thats what im trying to do. thanks for the advice Link to comment
scorpio47 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Interesting... so simply_complicated & littlestar - you guys suggest continuing to be there for her? Seems like most people on the boards would suggest NC. I only ask because I'm in somewhat of a similar situation where I'm not currently with the girl I'd like to be with, but SHE texts me every day and calls me nearly every day and we spend a fair amount of time with each other. Link to comment
technologic Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 May i ask...why is she more likely to come back if i dont talk 2 her every day?wouldnt that seem like im not interested in her and push her more away?? Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 May i ask...why is she more likely to come back if i dont talk 2 her every day?wouldnt that seem like im not interested in her and push her more away?? Its like reverse psychology. By not being there for her, she has no one to help her deal with her bf treating her like crap, and that alone, based on the connection and length of time you guys had/were together, could make her realize you treated her way better and she was better off with you. Approach 2: By being there for her, like the other two posters said, shes seeing firsthand that you're there for her when shes really down, treating her like a queen (metaphor), while her actual boyfriend treats her like crap. It will make her think why she ever agreed to break up w/ you, really appreciate you, remember all of the good times you guys had, and see you in another light, a romantic one. Problem with approach 1: You leave space for another guy to come in and comfort her while shes going through this, and her leaving her current bf for this other guy. Another scenario with this, she stays in the current relationship b/c she doesn't know what else/where else to do/go, and continues to get treated badly (and you definitely don't want that) Problem with approach 2: By being there, you're helping her while shes upset and being treated badly with the boyfriend, and that may cause her to lean on you a lot as a friend to make her feel better, and cause her to see her perception of the current relationship to be "not so bad", even though she won't realize you're comforting her and doing all the work to make up for her current bf's actions Two approaches, both have their pros and cons, up to you to choose the best route for your situation. Link to comment
mfopro Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 If you make yourself too available and jump every time she needs you, she may end up taking you for granted. She will know she can get you back whenever she wants. This doesn't make her a bad person, it's simply human nature to want what we can't have and take for granted those things in life that are readily available. Women tend to be attracted to guys who appear emotionally strong, independent and confident. Be there for her and show her you care, just make sure you don't come accross as over eager. Next time she wants to talk with you about her boyfriend problems, suggest getting together to do something fun that you both enjoy so she can take her mind off her troubles. During your time out together, don't talk about your feelings for her or your desire to get back together. If she starts talking about her bf problems, change the subject and keep things light and fun. The idea is to allow her to reconnect with the original positive energy that attracted her to you when you two first met. Link to comment
dreamguy Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 May i ask...why is she more likely to come back if i dont talk 2 her every day?wouldnt that seem like im not interested in her and push her more away?? Exactly. But you see, as long as you don't make it obvious by being rude or totally ignoring her then this could draw her closer. Be nice (just nice, not extremely nice) but show some e lusiveness at the same time. You are there for her, but you don't necessarily need her to be there for you. That shows strength of character. Link to comment
technologic Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 ok guys thanks for all your advice. i will take all of these things into considerationl. thanks. Link to comment
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