Some things that work:

[searching1951]

We're talking here about withdrawal from an addiction to another person.

That's what causes the pain, and it cuts to the core of our psychological being..it relives all pains but focused on the ex..it becomes obsessive compulsive thinking about the ex, or worse (eg stalking).

 

Here's is my system, and it works. It isn't easy, but it beats

the wallowing in pain:

 

(1) NC

(2) Healthy workouts aerobic + upper boday development for men

(3) Absolutely no alcohol (or drugs)

(4) Masturbate frequently and think only of other people, NOT the ex.

This really helps..it reestablishes the suppressed generalized sexual

drive, which gets locked into the ex during addictive withdrawal from

a relationship

(5) Play video or online games. This forces concentration on things

other than ex...it breaks diwn te obsessive compulsive do-loop

(6) Definitely get out with friends...avoid a relationship until healed

 

As a rule they say it takes half the duration of the relationship to get

over it. In my divorce from a marriage of 17 years it took me 8 and a lot of depression and wild behavior. But I developed this system subsequently

and I am able to get over a 2 year relationship within a few months, and

it is a lot less painful.

[UCLAMike]

great advice about the sexual drive part. It's so true.

[Seymore]

Yeah, #'s 1, 2, 5 & 6 are working well for me. My ex wouldn't have sex with me for sometimes a month at a time. It was getting so bad that she was turning me down in my fantasies. I just felt like a sexual failure. After we split, I turned my attention to fantasies about other women and I feel like I've just had my desires locked in a box for the last year and I just opened said box.

[nutbrownhare]

It was getting so bad that she was turning me down in my fantasies.

 

.........!!!!

[Elsewhere]

LMAO #4! Oh yes it's a good advice!

[catfeeder]

[...] (5) Play video or online games. This forces concentration on things other than ex...it breaks diwn te obsessive compulsive do-loop

(6) Definitely get out with friends...avoid a relationship until healed [...]

 

All terrific, but I especially like the balance between these, 5 and 6.

 

The two hardest things for me were regaining concentration (I couldn't read a sentence without getting lost half way through) and socializing (it drained me to exhaustion). Video games permit enough solitary time to recharge from socializing, and socializing pulls you out of the dungeon (or from under the covers) even when you don't feel like it--also offers the opportunity to make your time about giving to someone else beyond the EXxxx!

 

Thanks, and my best,

Cat