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Hey all,

 

Did you ever have a breakup that was so awful you thought you would never find happiness again, couldn't go on living, needed to have him/her back etc..., only to later find yourself happier than you ever were before, either with someone else or by yourself? If so, could you post them here? After seven months of torturing myself over my ex I finally decided to go NC and I need some proof that people recover and to get it through my head that we ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER (intellectually, I know this is how I should think, but emotionally I'm not there yet).

 

AAAARG!!!!!! Please tell me this will go away!!...Sorry, new years is worse than christmas for me cause it's the first in years that I've had nobody to kiss.

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It will get soooo much better. I felt the same way when I broke up with my bf of 2 1/2 yrs and from what I understand it was just before he was going propose. At the time I couldn't see the big picture but with time, I realized I was so much better off with the way things turned out. Hang in there, it will go away.

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OF COURSE we all find more happiness afterwards. Otherwise this whole world would be one cruel joke on everyone!! Do you really believe you are meant to spent *your* life miserable and alone while everyone around you is making out on NYE?? Naaaah...of course not! All of us go through a great mourning period over any loss, especially an ex who we had visions of a future with. My lowest moment after a break-up was driving to work one day and thinking, "well, God, I'm ready to go if you want to take me". I cried so much for months that if it were possible to die of heartache, I'd have been a goner.

Now, I'm happier than ever all around...work, friends, family, fiancee. Instead of having one person that all of my happiness is focused on, I have blessings all around and have never been happier with my life.

So, keep your chin up and cry it out (I don't know if guys do that the way girls do, but it's quite a release and immensly helpful IMO)

Best wishes for a fantastic '09!

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Success stories can only be so helpful to you as they are only so similar to your situation. But thery're definitely there.

 

I have many. Just got dumped. Couldn't be happier about it. It wasn't right. Was trying too hard at the relationship and not sure why.

 

Paint your own success story as you like it. What do you need to get over this r'ship and what is required of another to fit your needs in a mate? You're the designer. Take what you have in your hands and learn from it. One thing you can't manipulate is time. But that can be a good thing.

 

Sometimes we complain about how long something is taking. Sometimes we don't have enough time. Use what time you have to make your future the way you want it and let this be what you concentrate on and thereforee distract yourself with so you don't just completely sulk over the past. The past is there - just as you made it. So learn and use it rather than making it in into nothing but self-torture.

 

You can continue miring in the past; or, use the experience as a learning base, wisdom, to absolutely balst off into a tailored future which suits you perfectly.

 

It's not rocket surgery. If the r'ship is over and it's time to move on, this is the time to be thinking with your head not feeling with your heart. You can do this. I know this b/c I'm diong it with one a few years old now.

 

The important ones go for ever. So it's not that soemthing ends or not. It's the process. The process of how you move through this part of your life. Slowly wisely and calculated; or, light speed-frantic and stressed out.

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Success stories can only be so helpful to you as they are only so similar to your situation. But thery're definitely there.

 

I have many. Just got dumped. Couldn't be happier about it. It wasn't right. Was trying too hard at the relationship and not sure why.

 

Paint your own success story as you like it. What do you need to get over this r'ship and what is required of another to fit your needs in a mate? You're the designer. Take what you have in your hands and learn from it. One thing you can't manipulate is time. But that can be a good thing.

 

Sometimes we complain about how long something is taking. Sometimes we don't have enough time. Use what time you have to make your future the way you want it and let this be what you concentrate on and thereforee distract yourself with so you don't just completely sulk over the past. The past is there - just as you made it. So learn and use it rather than making it in into nothing but self-torture.

 

You can continue miring in the past; or, use the experience as a learning base, wisdom, to absolutely balst off into a tailored future which suits you perfectly.

 

It's not rocket surgery. If the r'ship is over and it's time to move on, this is the time to be thinking with your head not feeling with your heart. You can do this. I know this b/c I'm diong it with one a few years old now.

 

The important ones go for ever. So it's not that soemthing ends or not. It's the process. The process of how you move through this part of your life. Slowly wisely and calculated; or, light speed-frantic and stressed out.[/quote

 

Nice post

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Hey all,

 

Did you ever have a breakup that was so awful you thought you would never find happiness again, couldn't go on living, needed to have him/her back etc..., only to later find yourself happier than you ever were before, either with someone else or by yourself? If so, could you post them here? After seven months of torturing myself over my ex I finally decided to go NC and I need some proof that people recover and to get it through my head that we ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER (intellectually, I know this is how I should think, but emotionally I'm not there yet).

 

AAAARG!!!!!! Please tell me this will go away!!...Sorry, new years is worse than christmas for me cause it's the first in years that I've had nobody to kiss.

 

You know what? this one is the first one i ever spent all by myself...and the love i felt from all of the texts i received and phonecalls was overwhelming.. I choose to be alone because i wanted to enter this new year totally with myself...Not needing anyone, calm and centered.

 

I was not able to have this experience if it was not for the healing i went through these last few months..and one of my goals was to feel happy even when i am alone so i would never, ever, ever have to go through my 'needy' experience ever again..the experience that made me fear being alone...and thereforee choosing a love that was not meant for me..

 

There was a little hint of a tear 5 minutes before 00.00, because i thought about all that had past the last year and how sad it was that we were not there to share it together..but by 4 minutes to 00.00 i got over it, and made myself ready for my big jump into a brighter future..

 

I don know..if Never, ever, ever is a part of your or mine experience. We dont know what the future holds..but i do know it will be better than the past..because i have grown and you will too. No matter what happens..this year will bring you resolve. Just a matter of time. Nice thought huh?

 

But next year i am partying my cute a.s of at a party mind you ;-) hahaha

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I was not able to have this experience if it was not for the healing i went through these last few months..and one of my goals was to feel happy even when i am alone so i would never, ever, ever have to go through my 'needy' experience ever again..the experience that made me fear being alone...and thereforee choosing a love that was not meant for me..

 

 

 

That is right,you just can be happy with somebody else when you learn to be happy by yourself.Good job and you certainly will have a very nice year without those needy fellings

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Yep, my first BF when I was 29. We broke up on New Year's Eve 1999. I was so devastated I couldn't eat, wouldn't leave my room, slept all the time, and cried these deep racking sobs. Began to heal when I moved away from the area we had spent all our time, healed a lot more when I landed a new job and had something to focus on, and finished healing when I had a short six month relationship a year later that helped me to understand why we had failed. I haven't ever felt that way again after the end of a relationship, not that deep pain because I knew life would be ok in a while.

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