I lasted a minute...I'm so embarrassed

[Iwantittoend]

I'm a 20 year old guy. I lost my virginity last year to my ex-girlfriend but we had anal sex because she was afraid of pregnancy. It felt pretty good, but it was nothing special. It went on for like 10 minutes and it didn't make me cum. Fast forward to last night. I went to my current girlfriend's house and as soon as I got in she told me she had a surprise for me. She pulled me into her room and laid me down on her bed. She went into her closet and came out in lingerie. She looked so amazing and I got hard right there. We started in on foreplay and me rubbing/licking her boobs with heavy making out in between. Then she told me she was ready, so I went for it. I stuck it in and started thrusting. About 30 seconds later I could feel myself start to cum. In my mind I was like oh hell no, this fast? I didn't know what to do. I pulled out and told her I finished already. She stared crying because she thought it was her, but I told her it was all me and she was great. I told her that I felt like a failure for not lasting long. But she reassured me that she doesn't even need sex, that she did this all for me. She could go her whole life without it and feel fine. I told her that it made me feel better that she said that, but I still felt like a loser. About 10 minutes later I got hard and we went at it again, but I only lasted a minute. Again I felt like ****, but she told me that sex doesn't matter to her and she'll help me along as time goes on.

 

I can't stop thinking about it today. She made this whole presentation to set the mood and everything and it feels like I failed. I'm kind of worried to have sex again because of it.

 

Does anyone have any advice for me?

[waveseer]

When you feel the sensation of getting closer to orgasm stop moving until the tension reduces a bit, then resume. With practice you can be in complete control of when you come.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Hm.. It's pretty normal what you experienced.

I can tell your new to this, and she probably is too.

 

First off this was your first time. Obviously the sensation was just SO good that you came quick. Over time you'll gain experience and get to learn how you can last longer. Maybe look up some tips.

Most guys don't last long their first time having sex or even when they first have sex with a new woman (after a long time of having no sex). Some don't even cum. Some cum quick and some lucky ones last a long time their first time. Haha. It's like riding a bike lol.

 

Secondly, she HIGHLY aroused you and got you excited with the presentation. The lingerie, heavy making out, licking boobs, etc.. The quicker you get hard the more excited you are. It's normal to cum quick when you're so "ready" for it.

 

Thirdly, it has nothing to do with her. I've heard of most women cry b/c their bf DIDN'T cum from them. But if he cums really quick it's a bit more of a compliment I guess. It (usually) signals the guy is highly attracted to you.

[COtuner]

On the bright side, you're a great candidate for a quickie - you could have some fun with your GF that way....!

[luke2005]

ur not always going to hav perfect sex, practice is the key and i wud practice on my own a bit, happened to me years ago, to the extent my girlfriend at the time slapped me in the face if i come before her! i just practiced on my own to try and last as long as i cud, also find out wat really gets her off and she will come 1st every time.

[jettison]

You're young, and you probably have the same problem that half the guys your age have. Because of our religious heritage, boys are taught at a young age that masturbation is immoral and wrong. This is why boys masturbate alone, in private, and are made to feel shameful about it. And it's for this reason that they learn to finish the process as quickly as possible. So, in a sense, we've brought up a nation of minute men.

 

This can be undone though. If you came twice in 10 minutes then what's wrong with a third time? And since I'm assuming you also practice safe sex and use condoms, then you'll be delighted to hear that they make special condoms that prevent you from climaxing very easy.

[Crush85]

But she reassured me that she doesn't even need sex, that she did this all for me. She could go her whole life without it and feel fine.

 

By her saying that, "I'm doing this for you, not for me" makes it sound like she's not getting anything out of it. Sex shouldn't be a "chore" for the girlfriend.

 

Maybe her intentions are good but, if it were me, there's no way I could even enjoy sex with someone like that. If she's not enjoying it, then I couldn't either. And the sad thing is that I believe many girls feel this way, it's just that alot of them keep it to themselves.

[Kitz]

hey, at least you got it in!

One of my exes used to come before he even got it in, poor fella. I can see how that was embarrassing.... But if a guy comes quickly.. hey, it just means that they find you really really attractive!

Im not sure why your girlfriend cried, thats weird... but just explain to her that you're really sorry, admit you're embarrassed and didnt mean to and everything, but then say that she is just so amazing and looked so sexy that you just couldnt help it!

 

This happens to even the most experienced people when their girlfriend dresses up for them... one boyfriend i had, who used to last about 30 minutes on average? came after a minute once i got my french maid on

 

The lingerie, apart from making us feel sexy, is mainly for your enjoyment. Girls arent visual like guys are. Please believe your girlfriend, i've been in her sitatuation a couple of times, and girls really are willing to help you along. And because it was your first couple of times, you're kinda expected to come a bit sooner, you know? In time you'll start lasting longer. Coz im a guy I cant give you any tips on how to make it last longer though, sorry, but you'll get the hang of it I've heard thinking of fat men in g-strings helps... then again honestly i'd rather my guy just come quickly rather than think about fat men in g-strings while he's having sex with me!

[babii doll]

But she reassured me that she doesn't even need sex, that she did this all for me. She could go her whole life without it and feel fine. I told her that it made me feel better that she said that, but I still felt like a loser. About 10 minutes later I got hard and we went at it again, but I only lasted a minute. Again I felt like ****, but she told me that sex doesn't matter to her and she'll help me along as time goes on.

 

your only human, im pretty sure every guy has had this happen, you will have your good performances and the not so good ones.

 

but i think i would be more concerned about what i quoted above, if that is how she really feels about sex.

[Javito1986]

It's either one or the other. The best way to lose your virginity is the way I did it. I.E. I was pretty underwhelmed by the sex I was having and lasted a good 30 to 40 minutes and was like a sex god. Then as I started having more and more sex and became more and more sensitized my stamina diminished greatly. Greatly, mind you.

 

So, really, you're better off. Your stamina can only go up from here. Practice makes perfect so my advice is get back on that horse. So to speak.

[ghost69]

it happens to the best of us. practice it up.

[hk87]

My bf cums from just kissing me!

He's realised this and sometimes before I see him he masturbates by himself so he will last longer when he sees me.

 

Don't worry, she won't be thinking any less of you. She should be feeling great because she now knows how attracted to her you are which is a huge compliment.

 

hk87

[kuiks8]

i don't think you need to freak out...either of you...you will learn to go longer as you do it more...

[servedcold]

At your age, the beauty of it is that round 1 may last only a minute or two, but rounds 2-4 can last much longer, and there is a possibility of rounds 5-7.

 

Many guys have better control with her on top, and less control missionary. Other guys have better control doggie style. Experiment.

 

Also, the thrusting motion is not the only way to stimulate the clitoris, but is the most stimulating to the penis. Ride high on her and try a circling grindy motion on her clit with the base of your penis, varying pressure according to feedback. You may find you have much more control this way. Put her legs back over her head and there will be even more stimulation of the clit and less of the penis.

 

Do one position for a few minutes and learn to switch fluidly to another, the short break between can relieve some inclination to come.

 

All that said, I still come too fast about 10% of the time, usually after drinking or if she's been teasing me all night or if things get too hot. Most women like a fast, totally out of control animal man every now and then. Watch out for the ones who gripe about performance and expect complete perfection every time, as they will turn into naggers in other areas also.