Love

[Wishbone]

Hi Everyone.

 

I was just wondering if the love you feel for someone (the passion, the happiness) when you look at them or think of them you feel it and then a moment later or at the same time, you feel pain, hurt from things they do or have done. Is that normal? To feel all the time? I mean do you feel that way with every/any love? And is it forever? Or is it just because you're not over those things yet?

[CerysJane]

It sounds to me like your probably not over whatever that person done to hurt you. The more time that goes by and the harder you try to forgive and forget those things that hurt you, the easier it will be to look at them through old eyes again. But that all depends on what it was they done. For example, if it was a mistake and you know for sure that whatever they done was accidental and not meant to hurt you, it will probably be easier to get over and take alot less time than, for example, if it was a partner who cheated on you. With something like that its going to be at the back of your mind for a LONGG time until you regain the trust you once had. But if your trust has been broken enough times for you to know that its only a matter of time until they hurt you again, then it'll be easier to walk away from that person than hold on for them to change, as the saying goes 'a leopard never changes his spots'.

[Wishbone]

What if you can't let them go? They mean too much.

 

Also is it just a belief or is it fact that love is stronger than everything else? Or is it just something in movies and love stories? Is love invincible?

[CerysJane]

If you both want it enough then it probably could be stronger than anything else.

But love is a fickle bugger, one of the hardest things is letting go someone you've created such a bond with. Its always hard to walk away from someone you love but in some situations it is the best thing to do. For example, I had an ex who treated me pretty bad, never really commited himself to me the way I did to him. But when I was with him it would seem the opposite! He cheated time and time again, but would always come to me apologising and promising it would be the last time, that he'd never even think of jeopardising what we had again. He never did follow through with his promises. In the end for my own sanity I had to walk away. Now I'm with an amazing guy who would do anything for me. If I had held on to my ex I would never have realised how real love should be - its a mutual feeling between the both of you, with commitment on both sides not just the one.

[savignon]

Time heals all wounds. To be in a healthy relationship, you must forgive and move on, but not necessarily by staying in the relationship. We all have our own "deal breakers" which may be cheating, violence, drugs...ask yourself if what your guy did was a deal breaker for you. You can either forgive him and stay in the relationship (and yes, time will heal the pain you feel) or leave the relationship and heal and forgive on your own.

[catfeeder]

We're all capable of loving lots of people in different ways, but some people are best loved from far away.

 

Maybe it would help you to write some specifics? We can give you generalitites and platitudes, but if you want some concrete ways to view a situation with a perspective you may not have considered or to handle something in a healthy way, why not throw it out here and see if someone can help?

 

In your corner.

[COtuner]

Hi Everyone.

 

I was just wondering if the love you feel for someone (the passion, the happiness) when you look at them or think of them you feel it and then a moment later or at the same time, you feel pain, hurt from things they do or have done. Is that normal? To feel all the time? I mean do you feel that way with every/any love? And is it forever? Or is it just because you're not over those things yet?

 

It's possible. I was like that for a while, but the love died eventually and I just felt a warm feeling for the good times that were in our past. I could not muster up warm feelings for a future because I didn't see anything that indicated that person had changed in any way and would not cause more pain.