Very Cool NYE Story.

[NewPhillyGuy]

Warning, long, but cool post!

 

 

For NYE, I went out to this singles party in this bar/club/lounge place near me. A female friend of mine really wanted to go. I was not so excited about it, because I'm not such a fan of bars anymore, but my friend really wanted to go, I had no other NYE plans, so I figured what the heck, hang out, maybe I'll meet some cool people, etc.

 

We get there, and I'm surveying the room, and the crowd is looking mostly older - men and women in their 40s and I'm like ugh. No offense, but at 26, that's not much of a selection for me! A pretty attractive lady walks up to me and starts talking with me, but I later found out she was 40 (!), so was like no freakin way. I was polite and talked to her, but interest level on my part was 0. I got myself away from her a few times, but she always wound up finding me (yikes). Darn cougars!

 

A bit later on, I am standing myself just having a beer, and this other older woman points a finger at me and motions me to come to her. I give her a look to make sure she's talking about me, and she nods her head, and I'm thinking GREAT, not another cougar, wth?! I walk up to her anyway to be polite, and she says, "this young lady wants to dance with you." Then, another older lady at the table says the same thing, "she wants to dance with you" and they point to this absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl around my age, and I'm like holy mother of !!!!!

 

I make eye contact with this girl, flash her a killer smile, and I say, "your friends want you to dance with me, huh? why do they have to ask for you? got not balls?" She smiles and says, "actually, that one is my mom and if you want to dance with me, what are you waiting for? ask me already?" This girl's wit was a match to mine, and it was such a turn on, so I come around the bar and ask her to dance.

 

We spent the rest of the night together talking, dancing, and I had such a great time with her. I find out she's a girl who has alot going on for her. From what I know so far, she seems to have a nice mother. She's a law school student, clean-cut girl (not a smoker or drinker), great dancer, great conversationalist, very cultured, like different ethnic foods just like me, smiles all the time, sweet, etc. I am totally into this girl so far.

 

A bit after the new year came around, I told her I should go find my female friend to see how she's doing. I found my friend sitting on a bench crying, so I sat there with her and talked to her to find out what had happened. She was upset because some older drunk guy had pressed her a bit. She was also upset because she hadn't met anyone that night. As we were talking, the girl comes over with tissues, hands them to my friend, and introduces herself to her. She says that she wanted to say hello, but didn't want to interrupt us, so said she would leave us alone. I thought it was so sweet and considerate of her! Around 20 minutes later, she came back and sat next to us. She started talking to my friend more, asked her for details on what happened, wanted to know she was ok as she saw her crying, and she suggested that we 3 head to the dance floor for the last few songs.

 

So, the bar was closing down, and my intention is to ask for this girl's number. As the thought was passing through my head, she looks at me, smiles, and says, "you know - you are so frustrating! why are you talking so long to ask for my number?" I could not help laughing at that. Her tone of voice when she said it and her facial expression was just adorable. In response, I told her she was just too impatient. We exchanged phone numbers. She said she was going to get her coat, and asked me if I was going to walk with her. I was about to tell her that I was going to call in the next day or so, because I wanted to see her again soon. Right as I was about to say it she says with that same goofy smile and tone of voice, "don't you want to see me again? I can't believe you haven't said anything yet! You are too slow!" If you didn't know this girl and her sense of humor, you would think her very desperate, but I thought it was just adorable. I told her that I wanted to go dancing with her again this weekend, so would call her. Her response, "why just dancing? I want to take you out to (restaurant she mentioned to me earlier) and will you watch a football game with me too?" I said sure, I'm free on Sat, so I will ring you to make firm plans."

 

We all walk outside, and she asks me if I will drive her and her mother to their car, as they parked a bit away and it was about 19 degrees outside here. I drive them to the car, and I get out to help her mother out. I walk her to her car, and she gives me that same smiling, goofy look that she did before, her eyes fixed on me and just so bright, so I said to myself I normally don't do this after just meeting someone, but ah screw it, and I kissed her, and her face lit up. =)

 

Now, here's the absolute KICK IN THE FACE about this story. The law school this girl goes to is about 8 hours away from where I live, and she'll be heading back there in about a weeks time. Knowing this and knowing how much I like her, I'm feeling very hesitant about hanging out with her this weekend. I don't really want to do a LDR. I'm thinking maybe we just hang out and I'll tell her I just want to be friends, and I'm also thinking about not hanging out with her at all, because I don't want to grow to like her more and more knowing she'll be far away soon.

 

Anyway, regardless of what happens, I had a fantastic NYE with her. I was initially feeling pretty down about myself and my ex, and when I met such a sweet, funny, and beautiful girl last night, I felt better knowing that some really great girls exist.

[annie24]

awwww!!!! sounds like you really like her!!!! ok - 8 hours is awful, but not impossible. it sounds like she is a really cool girl - everything you want. so i'd go for it anyways. if you continue dating, you can meet halfway sometimes, or find some cheap last-minute airfare to see her.

 

good luck!!!!

[wastedlove]

if she is someone u think u will really like dont let distance be a problem, u could either have an ok girl u sorta like livin near by or a great girl that is one in a million that u could have a really nice future with

[scaruff]

Its great that you went out-but does anyone else see how pushy this girl is already? Up in the quote section I put in the things I observed as being pushy. I thought pushiness was a turn-off. I would never think of being that pushy/forward to a guy.

 

It's like she shot down your suggestion of dancing. She totally wants to be in the driver's seat-that's my impression from what you've written me. I thought that as a turn-off to men?

 

You're right to be uncertain. Uncertain because of her pushy way and uncertain about the distance. LDR's are hard-but even harder when you're trying to get to know each other.

[NewPhillyGuy]

Its great that you went out-but does anyone else see how pushy this girl is already? Up in the quote section I put in the things I observed as being pushy. I thought pushiness was a turn-off. I would never think of being that pushy/forward to a guy.

 

It's like she shot down your suggestion of dancing. She totally wants to be in the driver's seat-that's my impression from what you've written me. I thought that as a turn-off to men?

 

You're right to be uncertain. Uncertain because of her pushy way and uncertain about the distance. LDR's are hard-but even harder when you're trying to get to know each other.

 

She was just a tad bit pushy, but I didn't see it as a negative thing. The girls I am used to dating have NO drive in them. Sometimes, you can't even tell what they want or if they are interested because they are so shy. I was honestly turned on by the drive she showed me. She didn't shoot down the dancing idea. She just suggested other things we could do in addition.

 

She might be one of those types that needs a guy to stand his ground with her. I'm not concerned about that, as I can be a bit headstrong. As long as she's a sweet girl with good intentions and morals, I'll be able to tell that, and I won't shy away from pushing in my own direction.

[scaruff]

She was just a tad bit pushy, but I didn't see it as a negative thing. The girls I am used to dating have NO drive in them. Sometimes, you can't even tell what they want or if they are interested because they are so shy. I was honestly turned on by the drive she showed me. She didn't shoot down the dancing idea. She just suggested other things we could do in addition.

 

She might be one of those types that needs a guy to stand his ground with her. I'm not concerned about that, as I can be a bit headstrong. As long as she's a sweet girl with good intentions and morals, I'll be able to tell that, and I won't shy away from pushing in my own direction.

 

Sounds good. Sounds like you've been thinking/processing this experience. Keep your options open.

[john4321]

hey no matter what you had a great evening, and sometimes that is enough, especially when you are feeling down. gives hope to us all that there is life after the ex. you needed an angel for the night, and you were sent one, keep smiling.

[franfran]

Aww npg! This is great! I don't think this girl is pushy at all, I think she has a great sense of humor and is very confident with herself and it shows. I am sometimes the same way so I know she is only trying to be cute and funny with all of her suggestions and making fun of you for taking too long to ask for her number... It's all in good fun!

 

Unfortunately yeah she does live far away, I'm not sure if I'd want a long distance thing either. I think being friends with her would be fun, regardless. Nothing wrong with gaining a new friend... Who knows, later on, something might spring from it! Does she live in your area or does she also live 8 hours away?

[NewPhillyGuy]

Aww npg! This is great! I don't think this girl is pushy at all, I think she has a great sense of humor and is very confident with herself and it shows. I am sometimes the same way so I know she is only trying to be cute and funny with all of her suggestions and making fun of you for taking too long to ask for her number... It's all in good fun!

 

Unfortunately yeah she does live far away, I'm not sure if I'd want a long distance thing either. I think being friends with her would be fun, regardless. Nothing wrong with gaining a new friend... Who knows, later on, something might spring from it! Does she live in your area or does she also live 8 hours away?

 

her family lives about one hour from me, and this is where she stays on breaks, etc. during school year, she lives on campus, which is about 7 hours from me, 400 miles away. I decided I definitely want to see her again this weekend. I'm gonna call her this afternoon and set something up.

 

Not sure what to do about the rest, and I'm not gonna think about it right now. Just gonna have a good time with her this weekend, see how I feel then. But yeah, it does suck to meet a really cool girl and be in this situation. This is story of my life - lol.

[annie24]

why don't you just not worry about it and go with the flow. see what happens. no use worrying about things that haven't even happened yet. you may go on 1 date with her and discover you REALLY don't like her. you're a worrier - you should stop worrying!!!

[tin_tin]

Id say you should meet up with her at the weekend, she sounds like a great girl and you had a good time.

 

Even (if) nothing comes of this, hense the distance. At least it has given you big confidence boost, and it taken your mind off you ex for a bit. I know that it would give me a huge boost in my situation.

[NewPhillyGuy]

I called her up yesterday to firm up plans for this weekend. When we were hanging out on NYE, she mentioned there was this cafe in the city that she wanted to take me to. The plan that I came up with was - grab Indian food for dinner (since we both like), hit this cafe for dessert, and then go dancing again, because I had such a great time dancing with her on NYE.

 

When I got on the phone with her, I told her the plan I came up with. We had previously discussed getting together on Saturday, so I said let's go with that. Throughout the conversation, she asked me a few questions.

 

She asked why Saturday? My response was that I am free on Saturday. Also, we had previously agreed to Saturday, but I did not bring this up.

 

She asked me why Indian food? My response was that we both like Indian food per the conversation we had on NYE, so I thought we would both enjoy it. She asked me if we could do Israeli or Greek food instead. I was fine with that, as I've never had either before. She followed-up and said "I'm already having Indian food with my friend tomorrow, and I'd like you to come along." She also asked me if I would join her in a sports bar after that dinner on Sunday night to watch a football game. I told her that while I'm not a football fan (baseball is my sport), I'd be happy to join her.

 

Later on in the conversation, she then asked me if we could see a movie instead of going dancing, and she mentioned a specific film she wanted to see. I was not so keen on this idea, because this is only a 2nd date, and I wanted to have the opportunity to talk with her. I explained that to her, and she responded that I we'd have plenty of time to talk during dinner. This is a fair point. I would have liked her to be a bit more compromising, as I had already compromised with her on the first point. I found a light-hearted, joking way of telling her that she was trying to "take me over" and insisted that we go dancing instead of a movie and she gave in.

 

She asked me twice during the conversation yesterday what I was doing last night. Although I had no plans, I just made up that I was having dinner with a friend. I think she wanted to hang out with me last night as well, but I did not want to throw myself at her. I'm seeing her twice this weekend already.

[annie24]

hm, a little odd/pushy. i probably wouldn't have reacted the way she did when the guy made a date/plan for us but ok, whatever. just go on the date and have fun.

[NewPhillyGuy]

hm, a little odd/pushy. i probably wouldn't have reacted the way she did when the guy made a date/plan for us but ok, whatever. just go on the date and have fun.

 

I definitely like a girl who has her own mind, and I love when people introduce me to new things. I did have the feeling though that she was trying to control the situation too much. Perhaps saying she wanted everything her way is a bit of a stretch, but that's how I felt in that situation. She's making it very clear that she likes me by the amount of time she wants to spend, which is a nice feeling.

[Batya33]

NPG - I am glad you met someone you like (and that you don't find her too pushy - I've met people like that and it's a turn off for me, whether platonic or romantic but it's good that you're giving her a chance) but I have to take issue with your attitude about the older women who hit on you. For example, I am 42 but look much younger - and always have -- am I supposed to use derogatory terms about all younger men who have hit on me in the past 5 years and assume that they should know better than to hit on a woman 10 or 15 years older than them? In case I wasn't clear - how do you know these women knew you were 26 and not 30, 36 or 40? Is it necessary to refer to them as "cougars" and in that critical way just because they thought you might be interested? I just attended a wedding - the bride and groom met in 2005. She is 41 and he is 31. Am I supposed to refer to my friend as a "cougar" and in that derogatory way you did?

 

How does this relate to your post? Perhaps not this post but so many of your posts have the theme of how badly you think you are treated by women and how sensitive you are. Maybe consider a bit of empathy before bashing a person who approaches you at a party? Obviously you are entitled to your age preferences - I had them too (I would have never dated someone 10 years younger) - I am referring to the bashing that's all. It may help improve the vibes you give off to other people -- in my experience that kind of negativity towards entire groups of people comes shining through pretty quickly. (and you never know if the older woman has younger friends).

[ImThatGirl]

NPG - - Be sure to just take this slow. Don't plan your wedding yet - if you have the whole weekend free and want to hang with her all weekend, sure go for it....

 

She sounds like she definitely knows what she wants which can be a good thing but at the same time, kinda demanding......? Just don't rush things.... Fun NYE btw! And good luck!

[Pegasus]

hm, a little odd/pushy. i probably wouldn't have reacted the way she did when the guy made a date/plan for us but ok, whatever. just go on the date and have fun.

 

She is an alpha female and is checking boundaries early on. This is very interesting - I hope I will run into such girl one day because it would make a remarkable clash of her and my ego Game on....

[NewPhillyGuy]

batya, come on now. I have plenty of older female friends, and this is not I case was I was trying to disrespect her. I was very polite to the ladies that came up and talk to me. I was just joking around on here...sheesh...and there's a huge difference between some joking on a message board vs how some of the people I've dated have treated me. Not trying to play victim here, just saying.

[NewPhillyGuy]

She is an alpha female and is checking boundaries early on. This is very interesting - I hope I will run into such girl one day because it would make a remarkable clash of her and my ego Game on....

 

she is most definitely an alpha (but a bit much). she's something else, peg...and gorgeous as heck too. we will see though....she will get a run for her money from me, for sure.

[SighSob]

I'm so happy for you NPG! Have fun!

[Batya33]

batya, come on now. I have plenty of older female friends, and this is not I case was I was trying to disrespect her. I was very polite to the ladies that came up and talk to me. I was just joking around on here...sheesh...and there's a huge difference between some joking on a message board vs how some of the people I've dated have treated me. Not trying to play victim here, just saying.

 

I did not read your remarks about the 40 year old woman (come on, since when is 40 "old?"), to be meant as a joke - I read them to be meant as your irritation with "cougars" hitting on you. Thanks for clarifying.

[blue_dahlia]

hey no matter what you had a great evening, and sometimes that is enough, especially when you are feeling down. gives hope to us all that there is life after the ex. you needed an angel for the night, and you were sent one, keep smiling.

 

This is exactly what I thought. This girl was an angel. Someone to show you that there is life after despair. People enter our lives for different reasons; some stay a lifetime, and others just a mere moment. Either way, this girl added something to yours.

[laisla]

NPG i'm glad that you had a good new year's eve and are moving forward.

 

just be careful. because this behaviour could mean that she is a fun person with good intentions that could lead to something more with you....or it could just be that she's only visiting and just wanted to have a good time. just take it as a fun night where you met a fun person....don't think about a relationship with her yet. seriously.

[NewPhillyGuy]

NPG i'm glad that you had a good new year's eve and are moving forward.

 

just be careful. because this behaviour could mean that she is a fun person with good intentions that could lead to something more with you....or it could just be that she's only visiting and just wanted to have a good time. just take it as a fun night where you met a fun person....don't think about a relationship with her yet. seriously.

 

Agreed and thanks for the reality check.

[scaruff]

I predict this is not going to work. She's too pushy. Sure it's a turn on in the beginning. But it's not going to work because she shoots down every idea you've given her. Are you sincerely interested in a woman like that? Sure it may be SEXY in the beginning because you want a female's attention. But think of it this way-do you want attention from a pushy shrew? She's in the driver's seat dictating your time already. She's the type that'll push you for committment, an engagement, a marriage and babies on HER time. You ready for that?

 

It never ceases to amaze me how men say they like the woman to take charge. Then when she starts haranging them for committment, engagement, marriage and babies and all that jazz-they see it then.

 

Come on guy-see this picture now before you get in too deep.

 

Just saying I told you and I warned you.