Worried about meeting...

[anya85]

So I'm sure I've bored most of you(or at least those of you who check in on the "Breaking up" forum) with the details of my recent break up. Well, I've decided that I'm ready to move on and try again. It's time to let go of my thoughts that the ex is the only one out there. So...I joined link removed. And surprisingly...I got a lot of attention and a *lot* of emails. It's been fun...talking to these guys on there some.

 

One in particular has caught my fancy... I think he's really attractive(from the pics), seems to have a good head on his shoulders, shares a lot of my interests, just generally seems like a really cool guy. He even told me that my profile is what made him subscribe to Match...that he was browsing w/the free account and after he "winked" at me and I "winked" back, he joined so he could talk to me. How flattering, right? He's never seriously used a dating site before(neither have I, though I've met someone off the internet a few times). We've had several really long convos on AIM(one of them was 4 hours long), seems to be going well. So what am I worried about?

 

I'm worried he won't like me when he meets me... It sucks because everything seems to be going so well, but it could all end after we meet. I'm probably particularly preoccupied with this because it's happened once before... started talking to this guy through Myspace, everything was awesome, we meet up and have a terrible date. I could tell immediately that he wasn't into me in person. He never tried to contact me again. I just seem to have bad luck with guys... Now, before you all start asking me if my pics are old or whatever, they aren't! I update my pics every few weeks--they're very recent! However, it's obviously true that I pick only the best, most flattering pictures to put up.

 

This will bother me to death until we eventually meet... I need advice!

[Batya33]

One of the ways I "survived" meeting people through on line dating sites like link removed was to limit the amount we typed and talked before meeting, avoid getting attached or getting expectations from typing and talking, and treating the first meet as simply meeting a stranger to see if we clicked enough to go on a real date.

[timetogrow]

There is no point for you to worry now. meet him up just like meeting a new friend and don't expect too much first. just begin as friends and see if you two have the Sparks after conversations. dont be shy anyway.

[Batya33]

I never did the "meeting a new friend"mindset because that felt fake to me- I already had enough friends and wasn't looking for more - and how i evaluate a potential long term partner is far different from a potential friend. Besides, I wanted to see if we clicked enough so that there was at least potential for a spark down the road. Having said that, I had no expectations that there would be a spark - my expectations were that I would have a pleasant chat with a stranger.

[D_Lish]

I'd just go along and meet him. He's either gonna like you or he isn't and if you don't click, no big deal....we can't be everyones cup of tea, lol. Not like you have invested a lot of time in this guy, so at this point there should no expectations anyway. Just meet as friends...

[savignon]

I remember doing online dating and worrying about all the same things....looking back, though (hindsight=20/20), the beginning of a relationship is the easiest, most fun part. The sparks are flying, the conversations are all new...if you have to worry about forcing an attraction (by having the right outfit, the right hair, be the right weight)...well, it's just not possible. We're either attracted to the other person or not (as you know from meeting guys yourself...it's not that they did something wrong or wore the wrong clothes- you were either attracted or not). So go out with this guy feeling good about who you are and how you look and if there's no connection....NEXT!!

[Mavh25]

You're going to have to go into it with the mindset that "whatever happens happens" it could be that YOU don't like HIM.

 

Either way, you know its best to meet, see what happens. So you should remind yourself that this is'nt any sort of commitment you're going into, you're just trying it... You can't go in expecting too much. Ofcourse you're gonna be nervous, but if nothing comes of it, atleast you know right? and you'll feel a little better for the next time.

[servedcold]

The line that he subscribed just to meet you is very cheezy, but wouldn't rule him out for that alone.

 

Agree with batya and from personal experience, meet soon, don't sit on IM, text, phone, etc.