littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Had several shots of Jack Daniels straight, that made me sleepy. Normally i am a happy drinker which is why i am surprised my friends told me i was crying most of the night last night. Then about 11pm the alcohol had made me so tired i could barely see in front of me. I went to bed and slept through the clock striking midnight. Felt damn weird as EVERY single year i always celebrate and bring in the New Year. I woke up about 1am. This morning i am feeling hung over. I didn't break NC last night. Didnt call him or message him. And he didnt bother either. Today i am feeling like absolute crap. I really want to contact. I really am thinking of sending a "Happy New Year" message to him. I dont know what to do? I was the one who dumped him so i dont want him to think i am weak if i send a New Years message. Gosh i am feeling worse today than i was last night. This surely isnt a good way to be New Years Day. Help someone....What to do? Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Don't break NC. You'll feel even worse, either from betraying yourself or wondering after if he thinks you're weak. The New Year represents a fresh beginning, so just dedicate that fresh beginning to YOU. And happy new year to you! Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Don't break NC. You'll feel even worse, either from betraying yourself or wondering after if he thinks you're weak. The New Year represents a fresh beginning, so just dedicate that fresh beginning to YOU. I was hoping i would feeling better and the new year would provide some inspiration for a new beginning but im feeling so damn weak over him. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 You should be proud of yourself. 108 days with NC...you're a strong person, I'll give you credit for that. I hope in 108 days I'm still as strong as you Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 You should be proud of yourself. 108 days with NC...you're a strong person, I'll give you credit for that. I hope in 108 days I'm still as strong as you Thanks. Not sure i am strong. I have waaaaay to many weak moments. Today is worse and each day gets harder for me Link to comment
crab62 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 DO NOT MESSAGE HIM... I hope you didn't... I know need to go read the rest of the thread, haha Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 DO NOT MESSAGE HIM... I hope you didn't... I know need to go read the rest of the thread, haha LOL no i havent messaged him yet. I feel myself doing it though... Link to comment
crab62 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 LOL no i havent messaged him yet. I feel myself doing it though... don't!! PM me first... instant message me through AIM first... do anything first before you call him... I didn't break my NC tonight and neither will you!!! Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 To be honest i am not sure how he will respond. Considering i was the one who dumped him and then he tried to get in contact with me about 2 months or so into NC and i ignored him i dont think the message will be well received by him. I'd do ANYTHING to get him to message me....if only he would. He'd be surprised at the 'nice' response he'd get back from me. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Wait, what? You dumped HIM and YOU want him back? So why not give it a go? Unless he was abusive or there were other serious problems, sometimes a separation is all that's needed to make a fresh start. But again I don't know your history, there could be really good reasons why you split up that aren't fixable. I split coz he had an addiction to drugs and alcohol and this made him an obsessive and abusive person. I am hoping he has started to change. I love him so much and i do want him back. I want to try again. Link to comment
amipushy Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I split coz he had an addiction to drugs and alcohol and this made him an obsessive and abusive person. I am hoping he has started to change. I love him so much and i do want him back. I want to try again. All the more reason not to. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 All the more reason not to. I know, that's the reason i am reluctant. I wish he would change. Link to comment
Seymore Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I split coz he had an addiction to drugs and alcohol and this made him an obsessive and abusive person. I am hoping he has started to change. I love him so much and i do want him back. I want to try again. That takes a LOT of time. Don't give in. Respect yourself and stay strong. I wished so much that my ex wouldve changed her emotionally abusive ways, but I couldn't have that wish. I accepted her apologies believing time and time again shed change only to be disappointed Yet for some reason, part of me still has feelings, even though I know breaking nc would spell disaster. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 That takes a LOT of time. Don't give in. Respect yourself and stay strong. I hope he has at least made a start, that would be enough for me to try again. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Unless he has completed some sort of formal rehabilitation program and you can speak to doctors (with his permission of course) who can verify his progress then I would say you are best off staying far away. The general rule is "once a drug addict always a drug addict" Sure, there are exceptions...but unfortunately they are few and far between. I believe people do change but only if they truly want to and are willing to put the effort in to change. My fathers friend was once a drug addict and he has recovered. I'd want to speak to the people that are helping him recover and i'd want to be there for him every step of the way as well.... I think it's important to have faith in those who have lost faith in themselves. It can do wonders to someone. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Well if he's in some sort of therapy or program then maybe there is hope. I really am hoping he is. I have no way of knowing though as i am not in contact with him. What i've been hoping for is that he would contact me to let me know he is getting help. But he hasnt done that. So either he hasnt been getting any help or he is geting help but it's only early days and he doesnt want me to know. I could take a 'risk' and get in contact but i dont know how it would go. Link to comment
ThisXmas Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 So when you broke up with him he did not promise to quit drugs in order to get you back? I think you can text him and see if he is friendly to you. If he is you can ask if he wants to have a chat. Then you can at least know what is going on with him. I do think that you stand a good chance of getting back together because you are the one who dumped him, especially for this very understandable reason. But the chance of him successfully quiting drugs is unknown without knowing his current situation and largely depends on how much motivation he has. Good luck and Happy 2009! Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 So when you broke up with him he did not promise to quit drugs in order to get you back? I think you can text him and see if he is friendly to you. If he is you can ask if he wants to have a chat. Then you can at least know what is going on with him. I do think that you stand a good chance of getting back together because you are the one who dumped him, especially for this very understandable reason. But the chance of him successfully quiting drugs is unknown without knowing his current situation and largely depends on how much motivation he has. Good luck and Happy 2009! Hi, Thanks! Happy New Year to you to! Our situation is rather difficult. He had trouble trusting me as i was in a long term live in relationship when i met him, and i went ahead and cheated on my long term partner with this new man. The new man had issues of drugs and alcohol. I didnt like his verbally abusive ways and he promised to change if only he had me. He did start making changes but there was a mutual friend involved who wanted me out the picture so she spread some untrue rumours to make him angry with me, so he called and once again was verbally abusive towards me as he was upset with the info he had heard. That was the last straw for me and i ended things there and there, very quickly. I often wonder how he would react to me getting back in contact with him. Link to comment
Eternalhope Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Today i am feeling like absolute crap. I really want to contact. I really am thinking of sending a "Happy New Year" message to him. I dont know what to do? I was the one who dumped him so i dont want him to think i am weak if i send a New Years message. Gosh i am feeling worse today than i was last night. This surely isnt a good way to be New Years Day. Help someone....What to do? I was dumped but I didn't send my ex a text though I wanted to.I had to respect the fact that she finished our relationship. I also wished she had texted me,but she didn't.What I'm saying is if you feel this bad then was breaking up the right decision to start with? Was it the only course of action? Link to comment
susiesad Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Im exactly the same - wanting to text all the time and having to talk myself out of it. Its almost like some contact is better than no contact, but he will perceive it as stalking, his head will swell and he will think he can have you back at the click of a finger. DONT give him the satisfaction. Far far better he is left wondering what you are doing and why you havnt contacted him. Give you the power and upper hand. Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 Just wondered, did you resist the urge to text?? Hope you're feeling a bit better today, anyway! I didnt end up contacting him and he didnt bother me either I am feeling helpless and weak as i always am about. Today being Sunday dont make it any better either Link to comment
littlestar Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 Im exactly the same - wanting to text all the time and having to talk myself out of it. Its almost like some contact is better than no contact, but he will perceive it as stalking, his head will swell and he will think he can have you back at the click of a finger. DONT give him the satisfaction. Far far better he is left wondering what you are doing and why you havnt contacted him. Give you the power and upper hand. Awwww. Someone who is going through the same thing as me! I often think some contact is better than NC at least you get to know what they're up to. My ex being the way he is, if i were to text him his ego would swell so much he wouldnt be able to get through door ways anymore LOL Link to comment
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