Negative-mindedness on forum - contagious?

[BusyNAbroad]

I am on this forum since quite some time...

 

I really like the idea that we help each other when we are in times of need, and a forum is certainly a very nice tool to confront the ideas of so many different people throughout the world.

 

However, I wonder whether anyone else here feels that by reading a vast majority of negative stories, you feel you are influenced in your view of the world, your mindset and expectations, especially when you read stories about things you don't have much experience in?

 

Doesn't reading, assisting and tyring to advise so many negative-minded attitudes influence your own emotions in some way?

 

I heard that in some places professional psychologists and counselors regularly undergo tests and therapies so that they don't get too influenced by the mindset of the patients' they are advising.

 

As far as I know we are not professional psychologists, nor real "patients"... so don't you guys think that sometimes we are spreading (and receiving) very bad vibes accross the forum and its users?

 

I don't mean to offend anyone, but sometimes I have the feeling that I'm motivated to do something really good, I'm optimistic, but once I come here and read other peoples' experiences, ask for opinions, advice... I get totally discouraged and unable to decide what action to take by myself.

 

Anyone else felt this way while browsing the forum?

[Lionel Hutz]

We control our states of mind. Some may inspire, but manipulation is for victims in my opinion. It cant work without a victim. Brush it off.

[Scorpion Fury]

No, eventually I get sick of all the pity party woe is me posts and stop reading them. Sometimes I feel like being Sally Sunshine so I try to cheer up them up. But I don't let it ruin my day

[Jelina]

I wouldn't say that the comments by posters make me upset, but sometimes threads on certain topics make me depressed. It's not that I don't relate to them, it's just that I relate too much to them or I can see myself in that person's shoes. If I feel I can help the person I will but if it bothers me too much I just close my laptop and come back another day.

[laisla]

to be honest i usually write my post before i read other people's responses.

 

but i do think that it is contagious. say if 10 posters reply in a negative way. but the 11th person says something positive. i think that that opens the door to another poster saying something positive. it is psychological. we just have to be aware of it, and try to really help the OP instead of posting just for the sake of posting.

[waveseer]

Most of us don't arrive here on a winning streak, it goes with the territory.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would say that I have actually had quite an education on here...some things I knew, some things I didn't. I think, far from having a negative view, it has allowed me to have a realistic view of people and situations.

[top bloke]

This is a forum which helps people with their problems. They will be negative. I feel as though I can change the world for the better by having a smile and offering solutions that wil heal others. I havent been on for long but I feel uplifted when people find healing and peace by the helpful people here. It is true that negativiity is a bad thing but it is up to us positive people to uplift and inspire those in need. That my friend makes my contentment higher and my smile all that much bigger.

I remember a saying.."if I have seen ..it is standing on the shoulders of giants!!">

[hazelnut]

I would say that I have actually had quite an education on here...some things I knew, some things I didn't. I think, far from having a negative view, it has allowed me to have a realistic view of people and situations.

 

 

I agree, and it could be worse, like having nowhere to turn to.

[savignon]

I haven't noticed myself getting affected by others, but I do see a "misery loves company" kind of thing going on where if someone is really down about an ex, for example, people will jump on board with a kind of "yea, life sucks...my ex did blah, blah, blah" and there could be a danger of just surrounding yourself with negativity. For the most part, though, I definitley think that most people are giving genuine, caring advice, not judging and offering something you might not have thought of yourself which is pretty cool.

[phoenix999]

for me, when i read other people's stories that are worse than mine, i start to count my blessings.

 

today i read a story that the husband left the wife for no reason, it did discourage me quite a bit.

[bulletproof]

I know what you are saying- sometimes stuff hits a little too close to home for me. But I've noticed that if I encourage people in writing it embeds that positivity in my brain, too. So it's win-win.

 

I certainly see where you're coming from, though.

[civilservant]

I agree with what most people have said. Generally happy people don't come here!

[BusyNAbroad]

Well, I am a happy person. Or at least, I hope to be

 

The first time I came to this forum, I was encountered with compassion, consolation - which is obviously a good feeling, especially when we feel hopeless and nowhere else to go, as some people have pointed out.

 

However, I feel that past the stage of being emotionally OK, we should also look for action, for solutions.

 

If someone who is searching for solutions, action plans, strategies is at first replied to with compassion/consolation, I think that can be a bit discouraging as well.

I sometimes notice that when advice is given, the advisers often take into account the worst possible scenario... which in my opinion isn't entirely realistic. There is false hope, but there is also false desperation.

 

I recently read a definition of 'realism' that I like: be ready to accept the worst, but hope, expect and work for the best!

[Scorpion Fury]

I agree with what most people have said. Generally happy people don't come here!

 

I am happy. I come here. More to kill time and shoot the s*** than to ask for advice

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If someone who is searching for solutions, action plans, strategies is at first replied to with compassion/consolation, I think that can be a bit discouraging as well.

 

Why would it be discouraging to be responded to with compassion/consolation? That is equally important as finding strategies, solutions and action plans.

 

I sometimes notice that when advice is given, the advisers often take into account the worst possible scenario... which in my opinion isn't entirely realistic.

 

Sometimes the worst possible scenario is not realistic..but sometimes it is best to think that way so that you can prepare your mind for it and learn how to be okay with it so that you can function in your life without the uncertainty. It is uncertainty which can drive someone crazy...if you can determine the worst case scenario you can better prepare for it. If things turn out better than expected than that's great and that's a bonus.

[civilservant]

You're always going to get people that are happy that come here, which is why I said generally. For that to stand it only has to betrue of 51% of us!

[Scorpion Fury]

You're always going to get people that are happy that come here, which is why I said generally. For that to stand it only has to betrue of 51% of us!

 

Thanks for the reality check, I wasn't aware that I'm always going to get happy people that come here.

[parlae]

I recently read a definition of 'realism' that I like: be ready to accept the worst, but hope, expect and work for the best!

 

i like that one

[meowry]

People might argue against it. But it's true. Forums and message boards are made for complaining! (Not entirely. Just enough that it takes up at least half of what the site has to offer.)