One last box of her stuff to return...

[Seymore]

I packed up the rest of my ex's stuff to give back to her. I don't want to be around her, and I want complete NC (forever, if possible). If I drop it off outside of her place, I have to text her to tell her it's there. Then I've broken NC and possibly opened up another episode (last time I texted her simply telling her that her cat was ok, it was a night of texting and calling from her - a disaster, in short). Her sister whom my ex lives with works near my parents house and I'm going to visit them tonight. Should I try calling her sister and see if I can drop the box off with her at her work? What should I do?

[HNR]

I think that's a good idea.

[lostandhurt]

I know what you mean. I just boxed up more of my ex's stuff the other day and it is waiting to be given to her. A go between sounds like a great idea. I wish I could have NC forever but having a child with her makes it impossible. Do what is the best thing for you. Don't be surprised if you run into somethng of hers some time later as it always seems to happen to me.

 

lost

[Seymore]

Well, this is actually the third go-over. She got her stuff Saturday and forgot a bunch of other stuff. I delivered it, and then she mentioned she forgot more things. So I scoured my place and can't find anything else.

[DN]

Would it be too expensive to mail it or send it by courier?

[Seymore]

Would it be too expensive to mail it or send it by courier?

 

Actually, the way I feel right now, no cost would be too high. I think it weighs about 20-30 pounds - I filled a microwave box with dishes and stuff.

Problem is, I don't know her exact address. She moved a few months back, so I don't know the exact address of the apartment building, I would just drive there and I'm there.

[DN]

Ask her sister if you can have it delivered there.

[Seymore]

I just drove by her sister's work and she's not there, so maybe I'll do that, DN. Post offices are closed now and there's no delivery tomorrow, so I might try contacting her sister Friday.

 

My other option that I didn't think of is that if my friend does take my ex's cat, I can ask him to bring the box with him when he gets the cat. I'm going to ask him if he's decided yet.

[savignon]

If you can save yourself some $$ by the cat friend or her sister, do that first (as soon as possible, as it seems you're trying) and if not mail it. I love that you said "no price is too high"...obviously your self-worth is most important to you...excellent!!

[Seymore]

My friend's not going to take the cat. He said after thinking about it, it would probably cause too much drama if he went to get it from her and that it wouldn't be worth dealing with her.

 

I have a feeling that tonight her sister is with her baby's father, so I'm going to hold off on returning the stuff until maybe Friday, possibly later. I was hoping to get this out of the way tonight, but it's New Year's Eve and I just want to have a couple of drinks at home and relax with family.

[dur-LiveIt]

Hey Seymore,

 

Happy New Year, enjoy the drinks and time with your family.

 

I agree, physically removing the stuff is hugely important to moving on. it also removes any reasons or "excuses" to still be in touch. She sounds like she is not helping to achieve this end. So, as you are doing, you have to solve this problem on your own terms.

 

At least box it up, put it in a corner and put a blanket over it. I think in another post, someone recommended renting a storage locker for the ex to pick it up from. That may be an option as well.

 

Having things and stuff lingering around only allows the never ending possibilities of reasons to keep interacting with each other. Yet, the interactions are frustrating and lead nowhere. Yes, get rid of the stuff, both physically and emotionally.

 

Good luck to you, you seem like a strong young man, you will be fine.

 

Happy New Year.

[Seymore]

Thank you, LiveIt, and welcome!