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repairing family on New Year's Eve


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I'm really tortured by this one and don't know what to do. I've had a horrible relationship with my father for a longest time. He's been verbally very abusive to me (and to my mother as well. My parents were actually on a verge of breaking up about a year ago.). I think he's been a reason for my low self esteem and a lot of problems i've been going through.

I remember being treated like $h|t and getting kicked out before going away to university and that after I had to work 60 hours a week to help pay for rent (my family just moved to canada and was very poor back then). I really tried to keep my family together and tried to help them in many ways - and that was really hard on me (i was actually suspended for a year at university at some point).

There are some bad things that happed between me and my father as well, but i'm not very comfortable discussing them here. After my graduation, I had a huge argument with him and after that i moved away to a different city. He clearly didn't want to see me again. It's been two years now that I havent' talked to him. I talk to my mother once in a while though. Since I haven't heard from him or talked to him, things in my life has started to improve finally

I got a call from my mother, about an hour ago. She says that he's changed and really wants to see me (why doen'st he call me then?). She was crying on the phone and said I have to come tonight for New Years celebration (that's 7 hrs from now). (I live about an hour and 20 min away.) Now I don't know what to do... I really really really hate him, and i am incapable of dealing with another argument. sorry i just can't do that anymore.

any thoughts on this? i hope the message makes sense, i typed it out in one go..

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