What have you learned from ENA?

[NowandZen]

I don't think there is anything magical about the end of the year, but I suppose it is as good a time as any to see if something new is working out. In looking at my activities, I try to determine if it brings me closer to, or further from, the person I want to be.

 

So I thought I would consider what I have learned from ENA since May:

 

1) Many of my assumptions about young people, gleaned from the battles of raising a teenage daughter, were wrong. Insight and wisdom exist in the souls of young people. (Shout out to Equestrian Dynamo and Debaser)

 

2) The basic problem with my relationships is that I have trouble putting myself in the position of another person, and seeing it from their perspective.

 

3) Most of my suffering is self-inflicted

 

4) It is amazing how much insight one can gain when you can put aside the need to be right, and LISTEN

 

5) People here are fanstastic. I hate to name everyone here who has helped, because I would be sure to leave someone out. Hey, I left you some rep, and now it's not anonymous.

 

How 'bout y'all, as we say here?

[Yackstovic]

I've learnt that karma will repay you for helping people with similar/different problems. After the painful uprising of the economical crisis and similar situations the only way to conquer is to unite!

[Loki71]

That I should have died long ago and I could have avoided alot of heart break lol

[Scorpion Fury]

That happiness is a choice. I honestly think that once you get past the initial shock of a break up, you choose whether to start moving on and healing, or you choose to throw yourself a pity party every day

[ProtestTheHero]

No doubt, the people here are awesome.

 

However, what I have learned has caused me great (but necessary) difficulty rather than the "oh, cool" type of revelations. I've learned that a lot of my caustic behavior and cold "fronts" are really just built up emotional scar tissue to keep myself from opening up to people and running the risk of hurting. ENA has shown me how much I need to change, but unfortunately I feel as if I don't have the internal resources to accomplish any of those changes. So, in a twist of irony, I've been made aware of my many problems but as of now I have no way of changing them, lol. Oh well.

[metrogirl]

I have learned that there are wonderful people here that truly care about me, even though I will likely never meet them.

[coldplay.]

Ive learned ironically that, im not alone.

 

That every facet of my life is under my control.

 

so much more.

[_Asti_]

ENA has made me appreciate my relationship. To read posts, and read problems and situations that I can't even imagine happening or thinking of, makes me truly glad to have the person and relationship I do.

 

As well, sometimes advice should be taken with a grain of salt. Only you know yourself, your partner and your relationship best. Advice given is by total strangers who know very little background and history and aren't there in your day to day relationship. You can't take the advice too seriously or read too much into it, it all comes down to you and what you want to do and what you think is best.

[waveseer]

I learned that:

 

1. I am not the only one who felt the way I did.

2. Other people who felt the way I did have recovered.

3. I could recover too if I was willing to look at it the way they did and do the things they suggested.

4. An integral part of my recovery is helping others.

5. ENA is where it's at for online human humane interaction and support.

6. I can be perfectly happy alone.

7. I'm not who I'm gonna be, but thank god I'm not who I used to be either.

8. A little love goes a long, long way.

9. I am lovable and so are you.

10. Some of the best friends I've ever had I've never met (nor spoken with).

 

Tanks, ena!

[Luke Skywalker]

From my recent studies in the 'Break-Up' and 'Divorce' section, I've learned the truth of the following:

 

1) No matter how happy you see couples together, a break-up / divorce has the capability of nuking all of those moments at a single moment, where one party moves on and the other party is heart-broken.

 

2) I've learned that women can be cruel with their friends or any guy that have lost interest with and just break contact out of the blue with no explanation irrespective of how much time she spend with a guy in a "relationship" or how intimate that relationship was - or if they get satisfied by another guy in general.

 

3) The length of time of a relationship doesn't matter as long relationships have broken up or ended in divorce.

 

4) Crying "involuntary celibacy" may be a single focused issue. However, you'll soon feel like crying that, AND other things as well after you've broken up from a relationship with a girl that you've opened up to and put your heart in and START BACK TO SQUARE ONE.

 

That is why it's important to have a social life, other women, or something to fall back on if your girl acts up -- so she wont be your only natural world defination of "life'.

 

5) The priviledge of having people share their "relationship" experience, and "sex" experience on this public board, whether good or bad. The experience, although second/third hand, and in writing -- highlighting the major points -- is very valuable at gaining textbook - level experience.

 

If someone wants to do a major study on relationships, different reasons for breaking-up, and finding out how badly parties behave on these break-ups / divorces, then this is the best place.

 

To be fair -- I'm only studying break-ups and divorces where the woman is at fault or being portrayed in a negative light because I am a man -- I think I may entertain more threads where the man is clearly at fault too and the woman was a good catch so I don't get biased up.

[Karmageddon]

1. I have learned that the only thing you can control in life is your own actions

 

2. I have learned to stop listening to what people say and watch what they do

 

3. I have learned that whatever it is, bad, good etc...It wont last. But life is about the ride and only the village idiot is happy every day. Life is always in flux, so its best to be flexable.

 

4. I have learned that there are so many good people out there, with such big hearts & sometimes i forget that dealing with my day to day idiots!

 

I have learned so much more, but thanks to you all for helping and caring!!

[timetogrow]

ENA is the best forum website i can ever find. People here are so smart and intelligent who give valuable advice to people who need help and advice. I visit ENA almost everyday and through reading and posting here i learn a lot about things in life and i will keep on learning.

 

It's great that we can talk and share topics on this fourm that we don't wish to talk with our friends and family, the response of your replies are instant and it really helps. I truly love this ENA.

[laisla]

what i have learned from ENA....

 

- everybody has their issues, conflicts, problems. no matter where they come from, no matter their age, race, class, gender, language etc.

 

- everybody deserves good

 

- a few simple words can help someone very much

[john4321]

i have learned so far that there are many opinions, and not all can be right. there are many answers, but again not all right. i have learned it is good to talk and share and be open. good to listen to others and have them force you from your comfort zone, and look at things differently. i have learned i am not alone, and have learned that no matter what happens in my life, i will be a better person for working on myself, and becoming a stronger and better person. and i thank you all for sharing your lives and making it easier for me to continue to grow.