Ex's birthday approaching.. have a gift that never had a chance to give her..

[centrino345]

Hey all, I need your opinion on something. You can read the back story by searching "2 weeks of NC and she broke it by emailing... please help" since I'm not allowed to post link for some reason.

 

Basically my ex's birthday is approaching in 3 weeks, and I had bought this Sworvski crystal that she collects a couple months back, before she broke up with me.... Basically, every year Sworvski come out with a special collection, and there's a special one for each year. I bought the one for year 2008.

 

I don't expect anything back from it, not even a thank you. It's just that I bought it for her and I really have no use of keeping it, nor do i know anyone who collects them. Plus, I really want her to have it to add to her collection.. The question is, I don't want her to think I bought this after the fact, u know? I still have the receipt, maybe I will mail that with the gift? I know it's probably a bad idea to even entertain the idea of giving something to her after what happened. But as I said, I really don't have any expectation from it. All i was going to say was,

 

"Happy Birthday, bought this a while ago for you. Figured you'd like to add it to your collection."

 

I actually had this fantasy of giving this to her after she comes back to me, but I know the chances are very slim for her to come back. thereforee, I guess I'm doing this more for myself, the final gift that I was going to give her, so I can move on. I guess it would be bad if she has already sold her collection.. if you read the back story she started selling some of her stuff as well as stuff I gave her. And I bought her most of her collection... =x Any insights? Should I even give it to her?

[createhappiness]

how is giving her a gift helping you move on? it's only gonna make you look silly. if i were you, i'd take that crystal and throw as far as you can it into the ocean, lake, whatever nearest body of water you have near you, even if it's a toilet. do it as a symbolic gesture of moving on without her and getting on with life! unless those things are expensive in which case just sell it on ebay, hehe.

[Shadows Light]

Mail it to her... anonymously. Happy Birthday card without signing it.

[chipchuck02]

My ex's birthday was 2 weeks after we broke up i gave her the diamond necklace i had bought before, it did not help at all may have made things worse. Don't give your ex a gift it gives them validation that your still into them.

[centrino345]

Thanks for the replies guys...

 

createhappiness:

Yeah, it wasn't cheap. So, I don't think i'll be throwing it away in to a lake or even a toilet. I mean, like I said... I bought it for her and I just thought I should give it to her.. That's all there was to it.

 

Shadows Light:

I think that's a good idea. But, I think it wouldn't be hard for her to figure out it was me who sent it, as over the past 5.5 years. I was the only one giving these little crystals to her. Good idea though, I might consider it.

 

chipchuck02:

How did it made things worse? She sent it back.... or? I know it'll probably give her validation that I'm still into her. But, I just want to come accross as I still care. I don't know perhaps it is a bad idea. I'd like to see what more people think about this.

[7ate9]

If I were you I wouldn't do it. You are just giving her power by doing that. Even if you mailed it without saying it was from you- YOU would know it was from you, and she might be able to figure it out anyway that it was from you as well.

 

You need to think of yourself first now. You are still putting this woman who dumped you first and that's not right.

[ljp]

If you still have the reciept, can't you return it?

[Decaf08]

If possible return it, you don't want to create unnecessary feelings. She may even see this as a ploy despite your true intentions.

 

Get your money back, and if you do really want to wish her a happy birthday (although it goes against everything that is NC) just send a card, sign it, and let it be.

 

PS don't forget to get youself something nice for yourself, it's boxing week after all

[centrino345]

thing is, there's a 14 day return period, which past a while back. So, no return. sigh... I guess I won't send it to her. I'll just keep it. Maybe I'll give it to her the day when i can be friends with her again.