My first online experience..plz help :)

[sweetgirl27]

Hello All,

This is my first post here.Hopefully I'll make my story short and sweet! A little over a year ago, I met someone online. This is something I NEVER would have thought to happen to me. I'm probably one of the most paranoid people in terms of trusting someone I have never actually "met in person". Well, when I met this guy, he was separated from his wife, and is now going through the divorcing process. I think what scares me is the fact that I dont want to be a person's rebound by any means.

 

We've been talking for a very long time, (both online and the phone) but still are free to see other people etc. We are by no means in a committed relationship at this point, but I would like to see things move that way. I think what I am struggling with is the fact that I know very little about internet dating, and on top of that, dating someone who is divorcing.

 

Lately, it seems as if things are progressing. We have seen pictures of eachother over all of this time and I have actually seen him on web cam many, many times throughout the year. I recently purchased one so that things would be fair. He told me that he thinks it is the next step for us. We both want to meet and feel that we will, its just a matter of taking things slowly and one step at a time right now. I think what I am struggling with is that I dont know how much I should be expecting from him at this point. I dont want to pressure someone who isnt ready for a relationship, and at the same time, I dont want to wait around for someone to be ready for a relationship and decide not to choose me anyway.

 

Our conversations are great, we enjoy the same hobbies and when we talk on cam and the phone things seem so natural. (we've been talking on the phone for over a year as well if anyone is wondering...just added the cam factor on my end about a week ago) We have talked on the phone since the beginning. We have talked about meeting several times, and my reasons for holding back were because I didnt find it appropriate until he was actually divorcing her. Although he was separated, I felt that it wasnt right and I wanted to wait. I know that he's not lying about this for several reasons. I've done background searches etc and even the reverse phone number stuff with both his number and his parents' number he's given to me. All of it adds up, and he was being honest about names, work, etc. I wanted to be extra careful....

 

With that aspect aside, I feel that my second guessing comes from not knowing how much to expect from a person who is coming out of a divorce. I by no means put my life on hold for him over this past year. I actually came out of something when he and I started talking, and have dated. I would never put my life on hold, that would be silly. Im afraid to push him away and freak him out if I sound like I want too much too soon. Should we be calling and texting regularly and spontaneously (without having been online first), if we aren't actually in a relationship?...

 

Both he and I are new to the concept of this online world. We have both spoken about how it will be weird to tell our families and friends how we met etc, because we both didnt expect this, ever..As far as distance, we live on opposite coasts. Im west coast, he's east coast. I realize that its far...but thats not my fear right now. I guess I'm just wondering how relaxed and non-chalaunt about this I am supposed to be..He coming out of a divorce and all..Any advice at all would be so greatly appreciated. thank you for reading my post

[saltandvinegar]

omg, Im having difficulty reading thsi because there arent any paragraphs LOL

 

could you edit it into paragraphs because i just cant cope lol

[sweetgirl27]

LOL..yes... didn't think it would post in paragraphs if I did that!! haha..told ya it was my first post!! Thanks

[midnightrambler]

just meet and post the details

[D_Lish]

I'm unsure what you mean by taking things slow...?? You've been corresponding a YEAR....I'd say you had taken it slow. You've talked, exchanged pics, seen each other on cam....what else is there to take slow and get to know about this guy, other than his REAL self and it takes meeting to find that out.

 

You say you are unsure of this guy, don't want to end up the rebound. Regardless, you chose to invest a year of your life in this guy. Why invest any further time? Why not just meet and see what is there, what happens, rather than be guessing the outcome.