How much more heartless can someone get?

[n707jt]

I tried so hard to be with a girl for the past year. It was a long distance relationship. But we were able to fly and see each other almost every month so hey its not so bad is it?

 

Funny how she always had trust problems with me and it is so painful for me. She has come to a sort of conclusion she cannot trust me because I have made a lie. A white lie actually.

 

I made that lie because she always had problems with me having other females around me. When I mean female around me, I mean a single girl from my university class. She thinks that because I didn't tell her that, I have breached her trust. I didn't said it because I knew what was going to happen. She would not have handled it properly. She would have made my life hell. Because I know she loves putting me on a spot and ask me questions i can't possibly give an answer. All because of her insecurity.

 

If you read my previous post you will know the problems I faced.

 

I was not able to comfortably watch a movie or a show because of kissing scenes. I was not able to walk pass shops selling lingerie because she thinks I am looking at advertisments of scantily clad women. I was always interrogated when I add a female in my Facebook account.

 

She would say that I am not keen in solving problems with her. But I never could. She would not compromise even when I do. She only sees what she wants to see. And to her I am the biggest "bastard" ever to her. Because I am out to cheat and lie to her.

 

But my dear friends, how am I supposed to tell her I really love her very much and I am not that person she thinks I am? I tried so hard. It pushed me to the edge. Our quarrels got so heated up I slapped her and even drove my car wrecklessly. But I knew I was wrong by doing that. I couldn't sleep or eat for days. I took the courage and even went up to her mum and apologized for doing that to her daughter.

 

But somehow I thought things will never work.

 

I have poor health. I fall sick often and I have been to the hospital several times. Everytime that happens, it seems that she will not relent. She even thinks that because I am always "alright" at the end of the day, it doesnt really matter to her. Because it is some sort of "False alarm". And that it does not matter for her to worry because I "always recover". No matter whatever happens to me.

 

Its so hard for me to believe that there is someone who would be so selfish. I am trying so hard to tear myself away from her but its killing me. The pain is excruciating. How can someone who shared happy times with me, whom I have sacrificed so much for, find it in her heart to treat me like that?

[waveseer]

Maybe she finds it difficult to be empathetic to the man who hit her.

[pumpkinmoon]

This is what break ups do to people unfortunately. The hurt like hell but eventually with time and patience we do get over them. I think you are better off out of a relationship like this.

[n707jt]

I went to church to confess. I even told my own mum my mistake. I truly am very sorry for that. I really regretted my actions. But that happened after I had to go through 1 full year of torture by her. I know its not right for me to have slapped her. I really regretted my actions.

[hmdreamer7]

But that happened after I had to go through 1 full year of torture by her. I know its not right for me to have slapped her.

 

You're right, it was not right for you to have done that. There is no excuse for being physically violent towards anyone. I know it's hard to understand, but sometimes relationships will run it's course, and people will change and will fall out of love. You may still love her but the relationship you once had is gone. It'd be best to leave the relationship and start focusing on yourself, your health, and your heart.