What Would YOU Do?? Please Help!!!

[PaisleyZ]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now (we live together). When I met him he said "I am a photographer". Well, come to find out, he is in law enforcement during the day (this job pays the bills) and his HOBBY is photography. Since I have been with him in almost 4 years he has only made $165 on shooting photos of people. So needless to say, this is only a hobby and not a paying, profitable gig.

 

Here is the problem from my point of view. He told me while we dated that he does mostly glamour and high fashion photography. Well, stupid me didn't know this equated to 98.9% of his photography was of females. Not to mention scantily clad, if not nude females. Now I will say this...he only does tasteful, artistic photographs. In no way does he shoot anything inappropriate as far as being pornographic. However, I feel his "hobby" interferes with our relationship in a big way. What woman wants to have a relationship with a man that spends every afternoon emailing models from modeling sites, calling, texting and ultimately shooting with them. I know he is not cheating on me but I feel that way almost everytime he has a photo shoot. I get jealous (I hide it pretty well most of the time), I get angry, and sometimes revengeful (in a way he doesn't even know).

 

Before you ask...YES! I have told him how I feel. We have argued over this since I moved in with him 3 years ago. I did not know when I moved in with him that his interest was only women and that he did do nude shoots from time to time. I think I would have probably ended our relationship if I had known the full extent of his hobby. BTW: Photography is a very expensive hobby. He has about $8000 in camera equipment and when he does a shoot indoors he has to rent a studio for $75 an hour. It is very costly for us and I resent it so much.

 

Please tell me what I should do...I hate to end our relationship over his hobby but I am tired of having to swallow this when I am NOT comfortable with it and he won't respect my feeling on the matter. Also, I have never asked him to stop but I have asked him to broaden his horizons and do more landscape, kids, families...things he can make money on. He says he has broadened his horizons but he hasn't.

 

Help!!!! Your thoughts please!

 

 

[midnightrambler]

he is an artist followiw his passion......he will choose his art over you so i would get used to it

[pumpkinmoon]

I can see why this would make you uncomfortable. I wouldn't like it either and I don't think I would be able to deal with it. I think it has to come down to if you dont like it and can't live with it then I don't see what other choice you have but to leave Maybe if you really do not want to end the relationship over this you could try some form of counselling too to see if you could get over it that way.

[Elsewhere]

Looks like he's not planning on quitting his hobby for you. And if he did quit his hobby for you - that's also sad cause it's like limiting the person you're with.

You have to decide if there is something behind his passion for taking pictures of women only - if not then just accept it. If he gets off by it, well then that's not good.

It's a tough decision - can you imagine spending rest of your life in these circumstances?

[pumpkinmoon]

Looks like he's not planning on quitting his hobby for you. And if he did quit his hobby for you - that's also sad cause it's like limiting the person you're with.

You have to decide if there is something behind his passion for taking pictures of women only - if not then just accept it. If he gets off by it, well then that's not good.

It's a tough decision - can you imagine spending rest of your life in these circumstances?

 

This is something I was also wondering. Why is it only women? I could understand if he had a passion for the human form, but surely that would include men too.

[waveseer]

You sound jealous. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing by any means. I don't think your issue has anything to do with money or with his photography hobby. It sounds to me like your issue is with him hanging out with half to full nude models. Why don't you go with him?