How To Renew Contact with your ex?

[chipchuck02]

Ok everyone good and bad, or crazy ways to contact your ex for the first time since NC. Play it slow, ask them to coffee with the first phone call? Send and email txt msg, facebook msg? Profess undying love (bad idea) but who knows. Remember everyone goal is to win back your ex and not screw things up. And to get your ex back you will have to talk to them at some point lol. All ideas welcome post what you have done and what did not work.

 

My current plan, i sent a letter, think she has not got it at all because of a doubt in her new address. Thinking about sending a text "how are you doing?" after a month of Mostly NC. I failed a RC with thanking them for what they did for me and should meet up in person, as outlined in the magic of making up but that was after 2 weeks of nc and i went into NC again since she still was not receptive. so i could say its been 6 weeks of nc lol

[HopeArises]

I need more info. How long since she broke up with you? What were the reasons? How did you handle her decision after the breakup? What did you do? For how long did you do it? How did she react? What did she say? Without this information, I would just be GUESSING what to tell you.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Okay i hope this doesn't come accross too harshly. But maybe she just doesn't want to get back in contact with you. Perhaps she wants to move on completely.

 

You've tried once before. She didn't want contact then, why do you feel she would have changed her mind?

 

I think leave it. If she wishes to talk to you, and catch up or whatever she will.

[chipchuck02]

For my whole situation

my whole story, want her back thread

 

she has contacted me a dozen times since going into NC but if i tried anything at all she thought it was too soon, or i was just friendly and giving her and me space. maybe she does not want to talk anymore and thats why the last 2 weeks she has not contacted me, but i want to try and give it a shot at somepoint in the next few weeks

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think phone calls are the surest way...with regular mail you never know what can get lost in the mail...with email...you never know if the person has received it or not..sometimes things bounce around in cyberspace. Text is just way too short and chopped up.

[grw]

Perhaps my own experience might be of some help to you. I'll keep it short, but if you're interested in all the details, my story is in a thread called "Interested in Your Thoughts and Insights", currently on page 4 of this board.

 

After my ex broke up with me we had NC for 3 weeks. I then sent her a short hand-written letter saying that I understood her feelings and I respected her decision. I agreed that under the circumstances, the breakup was probably the best thing for both of us, though I still cared for her very much and wanted her in my life. I ended by saying that my door was open to her if her feelings should change, but that I had to go on with my life.

 

I wasn't really expecting a response at this point, but over the next three days she called me five times! I didn't pick up the phone (because I wasn't ready to talk yet) and she didn't leave any messages. She then sent me an email thanking me for the "beautiful letter" and suggesting that we meet up for coffee some time.

 

I didn't respond to her email, and a week later she called again. This time I answered and we had a pleasant conversation. She again mentioned getting together sometime for coffee and I simply replied "yes that would be nice" and left it at that. I wanted to see where she was going with this before committing myself.

 

Following that phone call we again had NC for 4 weeks. Then I called her to ask how she was doing. The call went to voice mail and I left a message saying that PERHAPS I would call her again in a day or two. I was out for the rest of the day but when I got home I saw that she had called back about two hours after my call and left a message saying sorry she missed my call and hoped we could talk later.

 

I called her back the next day and we had another pleasant conversation. Her birthday was coming up in a few days, and to make a long story short, instead of coffee I asked her out to dinner later that week to celebrate. She agreed and we had a wonderful evening together and a very fruitful relationship discussion afterwards.

 

Now I've pulled back again to give her more time and space to process her feelings and thoughts.

 

I guess my main advice would be to have LOTS of patience, don't push, but do what you feel is most appropriate in your own unique situation. You know your ex the best, and how she is LIKELY to respond to your contact.

[digitaldiva]

I guess my main advice would be to have LOTS of patience, don't push, but do what you feel is most appropriate in your own unique situation. You know your ex the best, and how she is LIKELY to respond to your contact.

 

I wish I would have followed my OWN MIND directly after the breakup with my ex instead of following much of the advice on here.