Abandoning Facebook profile altogether?

[Seymore]

I was wondering what people think about this, as I was considering this as well...

 

A few months back my brother and his gf split. He abandoned his Facebook profile completely, never bothered to change his status, just never went back on, because the friends he had on there he spoke to often in person anyway. Do you think this is ok to do, or would it be prudent to change your status, remove pictures and info and THEN abandon your profile after a break up?

[Mythical_Suicide]

If he didn't want to delete them more power to him. He didn't do anything wrong. Last time I checked there really wasn't any rules as to what you HAD to do regarding facebook/myspace.

[Seymore]

I wasn't sure either, but I'm not "with it" as far as Facebook rules go...I guess people can break up just by changing their status now according to Facebook etiquette...what's the world coming to?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I deleted my myspace after the break up. I wasn't that into myspace and I didn't want to deal with the whole moving him down my friend's list drama. So....didn't bother with it and just deleted it.

[Mythical_Suicide]

It's the same thing as worrying about why someone did or didn't remove stuff off their facebook before "abandoning" it... Really no point in it..

[Hackuuna Matata]

Facebook allows you to deactivate your account. In essense it means your account will look to others as if you disappeared. None of the pictures/comments you posted or anything will be gone permanently, they will just appear to be gone. The moment you login again everything will be restored.

 

I used this myself to avoid Facebook for a while and to prevent a certain person from messaging me with it without deleting them. Just like NC, it helps to get away from it all to allow you to heal and return when you feel better.

[lady00]

I don't think it matters what he does with regard to his profile. People might be confused and think they are still a couple but the people who actually know them will know. Unless he is worried about potential new dates seeing it and losing interest or thinking he is lying to them about being single, I don't see the problem.

[Seymore]

I don't think it matters what he does with regard to his profile. People might be confused and think they are still a couple but the people who actually know them will know. Unless he is worried about potential new dates seeing it and losing interest or thinking he is lying to them about being single, I don't see the problem.

 

That's how I was thinking about it, but since my REAL friends are the ones I see and keep in touch with by phone and hanging out and they know the deal, I don't see the point in going back on Facebook. I barely used it as it was. I'll just leave it up and stay off of it, then.

[lady00]

That's how I was thinking about it, but since my REAL friends are the ones I see and keep in touch with by phone and hanging out and they know the deal, I don't see the point in going back on Facebook. I barely used it as it was. I'll just leave it up and stay off of it, then.

 

Well, I guess I was making a different point though--I'd be worried about people I do not really know but who I might want to date or whom I might be in the initial stages of dating who might think I am lying if a friend alerts them to the fact that my profile makes it appear that I am in a relationship. This has happened to many people too...frankly I would have a hard time believing a guy if he had his status as "in a relationship" and had a ton of photos up of him being all lovey dovey with a girl. Especially when it's a new guy that I don't really know if I can trust. Of course a person's true good friends will know the truth, but an acquaintance whom a person just started dating might not and might be very suspicious.

[prinzbsr]

I find myself in a situation not unlike this. Facebook and Myspace are now a big part of life for those of us in the under 30 crowd. And at 25 I was right there at the start of the whole facebook thing.

 

My fiancee broke things off 3 weeks ago, and just today she has now has removed me as a friend on facebook and has removed me on Myspace.

 

Why? I don't know exactly. Could be that she finds that she keeps looking at my profile and doesn't want to anymore. More than likely thoguh it's becaseu she knows I'm going to be there checking hers out all the time.

 

I think for a clean break and a proper break you either have to avoid it or get rid of them as a friend so that you can't. It's tough for me to accept it, and I hope that she will come back, but that I don't know right now.

 

Facebook and myspace, bottom line is that if you disconnect there you're screaming leave me alone right now, give me space.

[Seymore]

Oh, I see. Well, if I decide to *ever* date again, I'll make it clear that I've abandoned my Facebook profile.

 

And if I do decide I'm ready to date again, by that time I'll have the strength to go online and remove everything pertaining to the ex anyway.

 

And as for my main reason, I'm having enough drama with the ex as it stands, and I know that if I just wiped her off Facebook she'd be texting, calling and e-mailing more asking what the hell was the matter with me just wiping her out of my life. I need as little contact from her as possible right now.

[civilservant]

Facebook is the bain of relationships. Whatever happened to telling people you'd split as opposed to 'declaring it' online?

 

Those were the days!

[HeartGoesOn]

^^^

 

Totally agree!

[keith515]

Well, I still have my pictures of me and her on myspace. I don't use it and all the friends that are my friends there, I talk on a regular basis.

 

She still has pictures of us up as well. Since I did the break up, I never got the urge to take the pictures down. In addition, I didn't want to have to deal with the pain of going there.

 

My plan is just never go there again.

 

In addition, civilservant makes a good point. It's my space. Do I really have to advertise to everyone that we are not together. Granted, I changed my status but I didn't my myspace page to be drastically different so everyone can wonder, "what happened to _____ and ____?"

 

I'm not going to throw away all the pictures I have of her so why bother going through each photo to take them down. Actually, and this is not really that funny, but this is my first ex where I still have photos of her. The others were destroyed by me or sent back to them.

[hereagain]

Facebook allows you to deactivate your account. In essense it means your account will look to others as if you disappeared. None of the pictures/comments you posted or anything will be gone permanently, they will just appear to be gone. The moment you login again everything will be restored.

 

I used this myself to avoid Facebook for a while and to prevent a certain person from messaging me with it without deleting them. Just like NC, it helps to get away from it all to allow you to heal and return when you feel better.

 

I broke up with my ex about 2 months ago, I pretty much deativated my account the day we broke up. He isn't on facebook but his daughter was on my friends list. That's not the problem though, I just find that the internet/web/online is fast becoming a substitute for human interaction and we are losing our ability to communicate in person.

 

Facebook is the bain of relationships. Whatever happened to telling people you'd split as opposed to 'declaring it' online?

 

Those were the days!

 

Totally agree, while this has never happened to me, these sorts of systems, while good to keep in touch with friends are taking the place of phone conversations, catching up with friends, sending snail mail, actual birthday cards as opposed to rediculous e-cards, which I think are a total cop out.

 

I guess, I'm slowly withdrawing myself from the web based world as I fear what it is doing to society.

[pumpkinmoon]

I did the same thing. I didn't sign in for months, then when I saw my ex out one night he asked me if I had blocked him because he didn't see any status updates or any new activity on my page.

[saltandvinegar]

Facebook is evil, and dangerous in terms of breakups.

 

Too many people put too much emphasis on facebook status.

 

Best to see what you status is in REAL LIFE

[pumpkinmoon]

I agree. I hate facebook!!! I'm hoping it will die out eventually when people start leading real lives. Then of course there will be some other site that takes it's place so we can't win!

[hereagain]

Facebook is evil, and dangerous in terms of breakups.

 

Too many people put too much emphasis on facebook status.

 

Best to see what you status is in REAL LIFE

 

TOTALLY! People need to come out from behind the false safety of their computers and live in the real world. I can see where we will end up in 100 years, no one will actually talk at all it will all be done by computer. To be honest, the way things are going actually frightens me a bit. Guess, I'm a realist, I think things in real terms. If you want to communicate, talk to me, don't text or email, talk to me.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I agree. I hate facebook!!! I'm hoping it will die out eventually when people start leading real lives. Then of course there will be some other site that takes it's place so we can't win!

 

 

What's sad is both facebook and myspace were made as a good, easy way to keep in contact with friends. Now it has turned into relationship central. If a person is having beef with their partner the first place they turn to is myspace or facebook. Or if your status is changed from one thing to another EVERYONE is asking. It's ridiculous. What really makes me laugh the most though is people who get so upset over the top friends thing. I mean like really WHO CARES it's a website. People need a nice kick upside the head.

[pumpkinmoon]

Yeah I know, people take them far too seriously. My ex recently changed his statut to it's complicated because me and him have been talking and doing things together to see where it goes. This was about a week ago. We had a misunderstanding on the weekend regarding some mutual friends and I ignored him for a day. I told him I wanted time to calm down and he said that was fine. Anyway, because I ignored him he changed his status back to single. Childish or what? I'm sure the whole world doesn't give a damn if he's in a relationship or not.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Yeah I know, people take them far too seriously. My ex recently changed his statut to it's complicated because me and him have been talking and doing things together to see where it goes. This was about a week ago. We had a misunderstanding on the weekend regarding some mutual friends and I ignored him for a day. I told him I wanted time to calm down and he said that was fine. Anyway, because I ignored him he changed his status back to single. Childish or what? I'm sure the whole world doesn't give a damn if he's in a relationship or not.

 

Um wow, yea that is extremely childish.

[Hurting5050]

I have just deleted and blocked my ex from my by Facebook account. He changed his status tonight to in a relationship with "her" -- and left me as a friend.

 

The thing is, he hardly ever uses Facebook, but wow, he takes the time to change his status NOW?

 

I refuse to delete my account because of him -- all my friends and family are on there and I'm not going to lose touch with them just because of him.

 

Sorry, because of a "Hope you are well" text I received from him today, I'm now in an "angry" phase.

[Brokelyn]

My ex and I broke up earlier this year (his doing). We were friends in "real life" before we started dating but we got much closer on myspace (even though we saw each other in person everyday). We dated for three years and were each person's "top friend" that whole time. When we broke up, I couldn't bear to change my status or drop him as a friend and so forth, so I shut down my page completely...no turning back. The one mistake I made was to continue to check his page. If I didn't find something devastating, I would keep checking until I did.

 

Since then, I have curbed my internet stalking. (It wasn't easy since he is a very public person with a few websites, a minor celebrity of sorts). I refuse to have a facebook even though five people a day beg me to. I don't want to be connected to anyone who is connected to him or even worse, to him directly. Plus, I have too many friends with horror stories about guys who have broken up with them over the internet or IM. When I am ready for another relationship, it will be internet free!

[lady00]

It's unfortunate that what is essentially just a tool for people to keep in contact, which I otherwise find quite handy and a fantastic way of networking, can turn into a source of pain or distress of some kind for people when dealing with a breakup. I've been there. Simple things like taking down the "in a relationship" thing after a breakup can be remarkably painful. For a long time I just convinced myself not to put it up ever again. But then I realized that taking it down was not the real source of my pain. It was just incidental.