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For a more complete story you can look at my previous post, but here's what's happened in brief: my ex-gf and I broke up after I graduated in May. She is a year behind me in school, and after the summer (over which I was a whiny, desperate person) she went to south america on a study abroad program. I tried to be cool and not let on that I still missed her, but it came through at times. Anyway, I saw her recently, she wants to be friends and all - and she means it - but still doesn't want to get back together.


I know I have to go NC, my question is, should I tell her this? I've been NC for about a week already (except one time when I accidentally answered the phone before seeing it was her). My b-day is coming up and her's shortly after. I know she's going to contact me, probably to give me a gift, and sooner or later I'm going to have to see her, if only because we hang out at many of the same places, which is going to lead to the question of why I haven't answered her calls. Then I'm going to have to say something like "I can't be friends with you right now," but then it seems childish not to have said this before. So my question is, is it better to simply send her a quick message saying I can't be friends now, or wait until the issue is forced. I know I need to get this girl out of my life until I'm healed, but we used to have an intense relationship and she might just be angered if I take a passive approach. On the other hand, I know I don't owe her anything, so maybe it's best to really just forget about how things might go and remain stoic but polite when I finally see her. She has enough power already, and I don't want to give her any more.


Thanks in advance for your help.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't think she really has any grounds to start demanding why you haven't returned her calls or whatever. She's an ex, and sometimes you just can't sty friends with exes and if she's mature enough to go and study in a different country, she ought to be mature enough to understand that.

I agree with the earlier post about future relationships not having to deal with her too. Make a clean break - like you said, you don't owe her anything.

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