Has anyone had an abortion, or know a lot about them?

[Ceslyn]

So, I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant. I don't know for sure yet, and I won't for another week, so I'm trying not to think about it too much...but it's impossible not to.

 

A condom broke a little less than two weeks ago. About five days afterward my breasts began hurting VERY badly...they do this before my period, but it's NEVER hurt like this. I can't even touch them. That's really the only symptom I've noticed, so it could be something else (I really hope that it is!), but...it happening after the condom broke is a weird coincidence. I've felt a little sick at my stomach tonight as well, but I'm thinking it might just be from the constant worrying. My period normally starts between the 6th and 9th of the month. So if the 10th comes and I still haven't gotten it, I've already bought a pregnancy tester to use.

 

I've talked to my boyfriend about the situation. We're both 20, and in college. I'm not ready to take care of a child, and so I'll be looking to have an abortion if it turns out that I am pregnant. He's very supportive. He volunteered to pay for at least half of the procedure (I cant believe how expensive it is, even just for the pill...) and he wants to go with me to whatever I have to do. I feel lucky to have him.

 

I'm prepared to call Planned Parenthood and figure out where to go and what I have to do, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared out of my mind.

 

If anyone could share their experiences, good or bad, it would help to calm my nerves as I'm waiting for the dates my period usually comes on. Did it really hurt? How long did it take, and how much did it cost you? Were the doctors/nurses supportive? How did you find the clinic? How did you feel afterward? Etc.

 

Thanks, guys. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

[homeagain]

First things first. Do not stress yourself out about a procedure that you are not sure that you need; take a big deep breath and so that you do not cause stress to give you more symptoms. If I were you, I'd go to a doctor to see if they could ease my mind by running a test, and while I was there I would ask about other forms of birth control to use with the condom. You sound like a very sensible person when it comes to sex and responsibility. If you are scared about this, so much so that you're talking about who would pay for a termination - it's time to find out for sure and see the doctor.

 

I'm sorry you are so scared right now. It sounds like you have been thinking a lot about the condom breaking and how to take responsibility for the situation if the worst happens. This is good, but you also don't have to assume you are pregnant yet... your period isn't even missed yet.

 

What you are describing as symptoms could be some of the first signs of pregnancy, but they could be stress over the broken condom. It would probably be a good idea to consult your gynecologist or primary care provider. As a student, you probably have access to a clinic which probably deals with this all of the time. At the clinic, they can run a pregnancy test on a small sample of blood. It measures hcg levels, something that is not present when a woman is not pregnant, so they can generally tell right away if you are or not. Because you are only about a week early, I would guess that they might be able to give you an answer which might put your mind at ease. Over the counter tests are not accurate enough at this stage to give you a response, your hormone levels just won't be high enough yet. You can also get the hcg blood test at places like Planned Parenthood. Beware crisis pregnancy centers, as many of those places exist to impose an ideological agenda on your choice if you are pregnant! Whatever happens, if you are pregnant, it is your choice of what to do and no one should ever try to make you feel bad about it.

 

Cramping, tenderness, and nausea are all early symptoms of pregnancy. You can google "early signs of pregnancy" to see more. Many women also spot instead of having a period. This is important because it is a sign of the fetus attaching itself to the uterine lining. You may not notice this event, or you could have severe cramps at this time. Early pregnancy signs differ a lot from woman to woman, so even knowing the signs may not help you determine if this is pregnancy, stress, or just a period coming.

 

While at the doctor, you may want to talk to them about an additional form of birth control. Hormonal contraceptives can be over 99% effective and work well with the condom. If you don't believe that hormones are something you are willing to try, you could incorporate a second method of barrier birth control. Even if you do not elect to do this, if a condom ever breaks in the future, you can get the morning after birth control pill over the counter at any pharmacy. "Plan B" is a common brand, and it is several birth control pills in higher hormone concentrations which act to prevent fertilization and implementation in the womb up to 72 hours after unprotected sex. Although it is too late to take Plan B now, it is good to know about for the future.

 

If your periods are regular enough, you can look up an ovulation chart and look at which days of the month that you were likely ovulating. These charts are only a guide, but for most women with a regular cycle, that window for pregnancy is in the middle of the cycle. Sperm can live in the female's body for up to seven days, so with that guide, you can kind of look back and determine if you were within the window of ovulation.

 

I can't really answer any of your questions about abortions specifically, I am only really familiar with fertility stuff and birth control, but I can say that I think the first step is just seeing a doctor and getting the hcg count blood test. I hope that it is negative and that this is just stress! Once a condom breaks, there can be so much stress and worry over pregnancy.... and that makes things even harder because that stress can mimic the signs of pregnancy. Stress, too much caffeine, or normal hormonal changes can also explain some of the symptoms you are having... it sucks, a lot!

 

Kudos to you for having the courage to deal with this as it is happening. Take care of yourself and no matter what happens, follow your heart on how to resolve the situation. I'm optimistic for you because no matter what happens, it sounds like your boyfriend is trying to be a source of support for you, so hopefully you do not have to go through this alone.

[LBP]

Don't let anyone guilt you into your decision making. Things are hard enough as they are, I'm sure.

[jengh]

Don't let anyone guilt you into your decision making. Things are hard enough as they are, I'm sure.

 

That is the absolute truth! Agree completely. Do what's best for you.

Try not to stress out -too- much until you figure out the results. I know how nervewracking this is for you.

[southerngirl]

Why is it that if anyone comes here for support with this issue someone feels the need to post offensive anti choice stuff on their thread.

 

Hon, do what is best for you.

 

Don't stress to much when you do not yet know if you are pregnant.

 

If having an abortion is what you feel is the right thing to do then it can be done.

 

My best advice is to contact Planned parenthood now, since you already mentioned them. They might be able to do a blood test to determine if you are pregnant before you have even missed a period. There is a drug you can take that will be like having a miscarriage, but it must be taken very early on in the pregnancy. Its really not that bad. You can private message me if you want my detailed experience with taking this drug.

[Ceslyn]

 

Thanks for all the information, guys. I'll stay out of the pro-choice, pro-life argument.

 

I'm feeling a little better. I'm going to call Planned Parenthood tomorrow morning (I work tonight until 8; I should have left by now for work, but I wanted to check here first!), and set up an appointment for a test.

 

Thanks again.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I just want to add the "symptoms" you said you started having only 5 days after the condom broke more than likely aren't from pregnancy. That is too soon.

[homeagain]

I just want to add the "symptoms" you said you started having only 5 days after the condom broke more than likely aren't from pregnancy. That is too soon.

 

this might not be true if the whole thing happened during the ovulation window. many women experience symptoms of pregnancy before the missed period, that's just the most obvious and tangible sign.

[Mythical_Suicide]

this might not be true if the whole thing happened during the ovulation window. many women experience symptoms of pregnancy before the missed period, that's just the most obvious and tangible sign.

 

 

The symptoms aren't going to come 5 days after the condom broke. Yes, they can experience symptoms BEFORE their missed period but not that soon after conception.

[homeagain]

 

Thanks for all the information, guys. I'll stay out of the pro-choice, pro-life argument.

 

I'm feeling a little better. I'm going to call Planned Parenthood tomorrow morning (I work tonight until 8; I should have left by now for work, but I wanted to check here first!), and set up an appointment for a test.

 

Thanks again.

 

good for you! don't let anyone make you feel bad about this. right now, this is about making sure you are okay and that you can get the solution resolved in any way that you need to. setting up the test is a good start.

[avman]

Moderator note: This is not an abortion debate. Posts that try to make it into one will be deleted.

[Notreadyet87]

I've had an abortion before. Two years ago. I'm also a college student(I'm 21, a senior). It was a VERY hard decision. One that I think you should think LONG and HARD about. I can discuss it with you, if you PM or send me a message. But like you I panicked and made the appointment to get the abortion right away. I just wanted the baby out of me... At first I was relieved and then the guilt along with a ton of other emotions set in. And even two years now I still think about it.

I would really even recommend adoption versus abortion--as I know from EXPERIENCE that it is not as easy as you think.

Again PM if you want to discuss it more.

[Notreadyet87]

Oh yeah it cost me 450. My grandmother paid for it.

I was put to sleep so I didn't feel anything.

I woke up and it was heavy cramping--it felt like a period.

Wasn't bad at all.

Emotionally it was heartwrenching. Again I would really recommend adoption...

[thejigsup]

I've had a couple of abortions. I had a lot of cramping and bleeding after. But most of all, I felt relief! I have never felt any guilt whatsoever. I thought long and hard about it and made the right decision for me both times. You will not necessarily regret it. I have regretted having my son a few times because he has a social processing disorder that has been difficult to live with, but I have never regretted having abortions.

[Ceslyn]

Thanks again, everyone...just knowing what to possibly expect if I have to do this helps me feel a little better.

 

I have thought about it, believe me. I thought about it all day at work today, and thought about what different choices would be like, and I'm confident in my decisions.

 

If it turns out I'm NOT pregnant (-crosses fingers-), I'll still defintately be using my appointment to get myself on the pill to use in addition to condoms. No more broken condom scares. Neeeeever again .

 

Thanks again

[southerngirl]

Were you able to set up an appointment to get in to see them? Good for you for making this step to call! If you are not pregnant, they can discuss with you what your options are to prevent it.

 

I'm thinking of you Ceslyn.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

psychgirly would be a good resource. she works at an abortion clinic and helps people like you. Good luck sweetie!!!

[Applewhite]

I am so happy you didn't have to go through that.

[Ceslyn]

Apparently they're really busy; the next appointment open was Monday afternoon. Buuut, I'll be in then.