i really don't know what to do..

[revenge3214]

Ok.. I am a 19 years old guy..

No matter what i always feel very empty.

I dare not approach girls. Even if i do, conversations are very (very) short.

Then it is a dead silence.

I tried to talk, but it seems to bore the person even more.

While i see other people, they seem to be more humoring, better at words, the atmosphere gets fun and lively with them around, but with me, the aura of dead silence come out.

 

To be honest I am not very shy, but I just not good with my words..

I really don't know why.. but now at this stage i find it even harder. People all know me as the "shy" type (which I am, only at the start).

Usually, people i made friends with are people who keeps talking to me, someone i meet daily (eg, sitting besides everyday)

But for others its like 10x harder.

 

I am not good looking, pimple all over my face and i feel so lack of confidence.

A lot of things, i feel lack of confidence, lack of self esteem, no charisma, and etc etc.

 

I also don't know how to start conversations and continue them, i have nothing much to talk about and often feel outcasted or extra in a group of people, they talk about their own things, and i just stand beside. (eg, people talking about soccer and i know nuts, but i am not interested in soccer)..

 

anyone have advice..?

Sorry for my poor english

[anonimo]

Sure man....I'm kinda shy myself, so I understand.

Try to learn how to value yourself...

If pimples are a concern for you, if you have money maybe you can get some clearasil...That seems to have some good results for people who have acne issues...

[anonimo]

Sorry not clearsil...I meant proactiv...I knew someone who used it once and it worked pretty well...

[mmjames]

dude, im the same way. With new people i can't seem to hold a conversation and at parties im usually the guy that just stands there.

Although im not an expert, something that has been helping me is being more open with new people. I know as a shy person I tense up and subconsiously put up a wall between me and other people. So i have to remind myself to loosen up and consciously break that damn wall.

Hope this helps

[revenge3214]

Sure man....I'm kinda shy myself, so I understand.

Try to learn how to value yourself...

If pimples are a concern for you, if you have money maybe you can get some clearasil...That seems to have some good results for people who have acne issues...

 

thanks man, i will go try it out.

 

dude, im the same way. With new people i can't seem to hold a conversation and at parties im usually the guy that just stands there.

Although im not an expert, something that has been helping me is being more open with new people. I know as a shy person I tense up and subconsiously put up a wall between me and other people. So i have to remind myself to loosen up and consciously break that damn wall.

Hope this helps

 

Yea dude thats what happen to me too, unless i have friends there, I am alone. I do look a little serious.. which i am not, of course. I also need to tell myself not to be so serious.. like.. "Why so serious?"

Wish you good luck breaking the wall.. And same goes to me..

[hmdreamer7]

I always have problems starting or continuing conversations, or keeping the conversation interesting. All I can really say is stick to the topics that you know a lot about, or that the other person knows. Talk about your job, school, last movie you saw, etc. and ask about the other persons' interests. If someone you're talking to loves art, ask them to tell you who their fav artist is, if they paint/draw/etc, where the best art museums are... then ask the person to go out to a museum with you

 

But don't feel badly about not saying much in big groups. Sometimes just being a great listener shows people that you care. Really listen to people, show interest with your body language. If you smile and look at people in the eye more often, it makes that person more comfortable and they end up showing more interest in you. I'm a musician, and I feel weird when I'm playing in front of people who look like they're going to sleep (then I feel like I'm not doing a good job!) But the ones who are looking directly at me, or smiling (or both) are the ones I tend to focus on, it makes me feel wanted! So show people your interest, and they most likely will reciprocate.