Had a date - but o'so alone!

[twrtwn]

I was dimped - right around thanksgiving. I thought our relationship was grea - but i guess that was just my version. Had a date tonight. Here i am now.....so depressed. I know this may be normal but i am so depressed. It wasn't him. My ex and I had so much fun together and had so uch chemistry and "got it" on so many levels and after 18 mo. just ended it, very hastily, after discussions of the "future".

I am so sad. Haven't heard from him snce the "phone call' beak-up that came out of the blue but I brought up "the subject" of "where is this going" arfter 1 1/2 yrs. Not one word. Not even a even a

Christmas card. Nothing. He loved me or so he said.

We got along so great. Had so much in common.?????

So tonight I had a date but it just wasn't the same. It was so depressing. All this guys friends said I was "Hot" and "smoking" and texted him to tell him and he called me to tellme but.....all i could think of is it wasn't the same. It just wasn't him. I'm so sad. It wasn't like him and I connected on so many levels. I miss him so much

[MyheartorHis]

You're just not ready to date again. You have open yourself up to others to have a good time with them...

[gee]

Hi twrtwn, sorry about how bad you feel.

 

It's normal to feel the way you are feeling. You'll start comparing and all..ugh. It's probably safe to say you are not ready to date, yet. Sometimes dating early after a break up isn't the solution to getting over an ex. Your wasting your time and the other guys, as well. You should give yourself more time to get over him. Take care of yourself 1st and focus on the more important things that are going on in your life (career, health, etc.). I know this isn't easy, but things will get back to normal. It's a healing process and you have to make the best out of it. Don't sit around waiting for a greeting or anything from him because it may never come..disappointment will just set you back further.

 

If you got along so great and had so much in common you would be together, right? Don't kick yourself for this. Just let him be.

 

Also, stick to NC because this is where your healing begins.

 

Take care of yourself and good luck. Keep your head up, ok.

 

gee

[flash83]

slim chance it may be a case of :

 

 

it depends on other factors that only you will know about.

[twrtwn]

Flash 83;

Today is another day. I was so freakin sad last night. I read the thread you included and wow! That sounds totally familiar except for the fact we are both 50. I also got vague reasons fr him wanting out. Although he didn't ask to be friends yet - and I wouldn't want to be anyway and open myself up for more pain. I have not contacted him in any way since the break-up phone call and I am proud of myself. But again - it is because I don't want more pain and why would I want someone who doesn't want me. I do hope he comes around someday and realizes what we had. He even admitted on that final call that I was the most awesome person he has met and added lots of the qualities he always loved about me. That's why it was so crazy coupled with the lame reasons and time to look at things getting a little more comitted.

I have been working on me and trying hard to get over him and some suggest to get back in the dating game so there has been a man who has been interested and has let me know that for over a year. After a really depressing holiday, I thought a night out with some male company might be what I need. Actually, it was nice to get some ego boosts but now the guy has already called twice and dropped over with breakfast. I didn't answer the phone or door. I am feeling like it's all too fast. It's turning me off. I think I have to take more time and thank you for answering me and the great thread. It shed a light on things for me - really hit home. I still have hope he may come around but I know I have to let go and go on and just get right with myself again. I am trying but progress is really slow and very depressing. Thanks for caring. You people on here have been so supportive. I'm glad I found this site! Thank you again.

[twrtwn]

Thank MyHeartorHis;

You are right. I do need more time. The whole dating thing turns me off right now. Thanks for responding. I really need suppor right now. The holidays were really rough. Thank you again.

[twrtwn]

Thanks Gee for responding. You are right. It's just too soon. Some on this site just say to date again and it will help things along but everyone is different. It didn't help. It just made me feel worse. I think the holidays justmade me feel worse too and I just thought a night out with some male company would help....but it didn't. I am just having trouble with the loneliness. Thank you for caring. This site has so manyh awesome people like yourself who offer good advice and support. Thanks again.

[gee]

Thanks Gee for responding. You are right. It's just too soon. Some on this site just say to date again and it will help things along but everyone is different. It didn't help. It just made me feel worse. I think the holidays justmade me feel worse too and I just thought a night out with some male company would help....but it didn't. I am just having trouble with the loneliness. Thank you for caring. This site has so manyh awesome people like yourself who offer good advice and support. Thanks again.

 

ENA will never let you down! It has never let me down. Everyone in ENA cares!!!! I'm talking from experience. I'd hate for you to continue getting hurt. Seriously, when I first came here I was given so much advice I never took seriously. I wish I did when I was initialy told. We all learn from our mistakes. I can't do anyting about it now..too late. haha.

 

Just know that you are just fine! Happy New 2009 enjoy your year!

 

gee