Avoiding suffering at all costs!

[gracerules2008]

Now I've come to a place in my life where it is time to avoid as much suffering as possible at all costs. That's my first priority in life. This is even more important than trying to enjoy life. Why? because if I even think about enjoying life then I run a greater risk of suffering.

 

Does anyone else believe in avoiding as much suffering as possible at all costs? I know that I cannot avoid trials and tribulations completely but there's many things I can do to stack the deck in my favor and significantly decrease the risk.

 

That is the goal. To stack the deck even though I know realistically there will always be some unavoidable difficulties to face in life. For example it's unavoidable that I have to go to work in order to eat and drink and have clothing. Everyone must earn a living.

 

But most suffering is avoidable such as heartache, raising children, arguments with friends, family, spouse, rejection from friends, family, girlfriends, spouse, etc. How do I avoid these potential sufferings? simple. I avoid these people as much as possible!

 

I will never allow myself to get intimate with anyone for at least the next 42 years. I intend to live a very secluded lifestyle. That is just go to work, do what I need to do at my job, spend most of my free time in my house playing video games, watching you tube, writing blogs on myspace, eat, sleep, get drunk when I know I don't have to drive for at least 72 hours, taking care of my cat.

 

I'm not going to travel during my vacations anymore because it is too much of a hassle. I'm even thinking of selling my car since 90% of everything I need is within a 2-3 mile walk. My neighborhood is growing with all kinds of department stores and malls in the last 2 years. If I ever decide to move I'm going to move up to mountain areas of my state.

 

This is the life I plan to live until I go to heaven in 97 years or less. I won't be ready to get married until age 70 at the earliest. By then I'll have a valid excuse not to invite my parents to the wedding. They'll likely be dead by then due to natural causes. I don't want them to be a part of my love life in any capacity. They're not welcome to celebrate any positive events that are taking place in my life.

 

I'm not going back to college to better my education. Forget that. I'm not going to take the chance of being embarrassed by any of my professors. I'm the type of person to just do what it takes to be saved by the skin of my teeth instead of actually performing to the best of my ability. I don't want to do my best.

 

I'm no longer accepting invitations to any parties or banquets or potluck dinners. Somebody might try to embarrass me there too.

 

Am I willing to take the bad with the good that comes as a result of wasting my life and avoiding as much suffering as possible at all costs? absolutely. I think I'll be able to tolerate this kind of existence until I go to heaven as long as I have plenty of food & drinks & internet access and as long as I can satisfy my sexual needs through masturbation alone.

 

I guess the real suffering that I'm most concerned about avoiding the most is rejection especially the kind of rejection you risk facing when you enter into personal relationships with other people.

[gracerules2008]

My grandmother is like an extreme pacifist. What I mean is that she's a real people pleaser. She will not tell you if she disagrees with you. She will take sides with everybody.

 

She won't give her honest opinion if she disagrees with you. She will not rock the boat at any costs. Peace at all costs is what my grandmother is about. That could be why she seems to have an easy life now in her retirement years. She basically stays at home all day and doesn't go anywhere unless she has to go to the bank or the doctor or grocery store.

 

That's the kind of person I want to be. I can understand why she's that way at her age. I think she's wise to pick her own battles to fight but she never fights at all. She doesn't have the energy to really deal with conflicts so she avoids them even if it means soft peddling things for other people.

 

I don't even like it when someone asks me "gracerules what did you think about this event that happened in the news?" because I sense that if I don't give them an answer they want to hear they will start an argument with me.

[anonimo]

We have to be bolder my friend....We are here..Life is trial and error...

We can try to avoid all suffering and we will still encounter it.

Sometimes its the suffering in our life that leads to life.

 

Thing of a woman in labor...Her pain eventually leads to life...

I know it sounds corny but they say that the darkest hour is before the break of dawn...

Hang in there...

[sundaysmile]

Unfortunately, the more you try to avoid suffering, the more it will show up in your life.

 

The only way to truly free yourself from it is to realize that suffering is a choice. We're raised to think that our reactions are instantaneous and uncontrollable, and that we're at the mercy of external stimuli -- but this isn't the case at all. For everything you experience, you process the information, and then choose -- yes, CHOOSE -- how to react. Most people run on instinct and don't take a step back to view the situation from an objective standpoint... and their knee-jerk reaction is to feel offense, pain, insult, anger, or other negative emotions. However, you can also make a habit of choosing to react positively to everything you encounter. Something that hurts? The pain will help define PLEASURE in your life -- after all, you can't see the light without the shadows. Someone says something insulting to you? Their words are JUST words; they have no inherent ability to hurt you unless you let them. The more you take a moment to reflect/meditate before reacting to something troublesome, the more you'll realize that all reactions can be positive, if you choose to let them be so.

 

You don't have to let anyone else's words, thoughts, or anger affect you. If you try to avoid suffering in the ways you're planning... honestly, what is the point in living? Running from anything potentially uncomfortable? The hard stuff is what makes you grow and become stronger -- do you really want to run from the most beneficial experiences for your personal growth?

[gracerules2008]

Why should I desire to grow? I have no desire to grow and build character. If that's the only reward that comes out of suffering then forget it. I'm better off staying in my comfort zone as much as possible.

 

Do I really want to avoid experiences that will help build my character? yes I do. I'm perfectly satisfied with having no character and no growth in my life. Honestly the only thing that could happen to make me grow is if I got drafted into the military. They might bring the draft back during my lifetime. I bet some of you military men who are reading this are keeping your fingers crossed that I get drafted in.

 

And the stuff about positive thinking is easy to say when you are not going through difficulties. I'm more likely to put more creedance in a homeless person preaching positive thinking than in some rich businessman in a suit saying these things.

 

The only way to avoid suffering is just do what it takes to get by in this existence. Don't challenge myself at all. Challenges may work for some people but it's not for everybody.

 

So far I'm managing to avoid a lot of hardship because I don't have any kids. I intend to keep it that way. How? no sexual intercourse with any woman. Consequently that means none of my relationships will last because no woman will accept a sexless relationship.

 

So why bother starting a relationship? Most women want to have kids someday anyway. Even the women who say they don't want children usually change their minds later. Even if I find someone compatible today it does not necessarily mean they will want the same things as I do tomorrow. People change their minds over time and that's to be expected.

[gracerules2008]

Something else I thought about for 4 hours this evening. I asked myself what I would do if God Himself appeared to me and told me in an audible voice that I'm going to be married and have kids long before I turn 70.

 

My honest answer is I would tell God "no way. It's not going to happen." Even if God Himself told me that kids were in my future I would fight hard against it to make sure it didn't come to pass.

 

This reminds me of how the apostle peter felt at the last supper when Jesus predicted that peter would deny Him 3 times. Peter said "no way Lord."