No form of BC.. what do you do?

[JeckyllNHyde]

Just wondering if I'm being totally selfish or if I'm somehow wrong here.

What would you do, if you used comdoms, but had none available?

 

Things got really hot and heavy.

 

Things are great. It's just that once in a while the mood will be killed. Sometimes my bf tends to get in the mood and begin foreplay with me, while he knows we have no condoms at hand that moment.

I feel I shouldn't take risks just to have sex. I don't know but one night of passion to me is NOT worth all the anxiety I feel till I finally get my next period.

So if I tell him I can at least pleasure him orally or something, and we can still have fun, he just "closes for business", zips up and says "no leave it".

I know it can be frustrating, but I don't feel I should be made to feel bad just b/c I'm not settling for withdrawal or some other risky method.

 

Opinions welcome about what you'd do in this situation or how you handle it when you're in the mood but have no BC?

[Applewhite]

Wow his reaction sounds pretty odd to me. I agree with you. Sorry if this is too obvious, but why not keep an additional stack or at least an extra one somewhere. Also why not use multiple bc? I use pills+condoms.

[Rose21]

I use pill+pull out

[JeckyllNHyde]

Wow his reaction sounds pretty odd to me. I agree with you. Sorry if this is too obvious, but why not keep an additional stack or at least an extra one somewhere. Also why not use multiple bc? I use pills+condoms.

 

thanks, your right. i think i need to take buying condoms into my own hands. ugh. i hate going to the store for condoms. usually he buys them and of course a 3 pack will finish in a few days. but when they finish what does he expect. magicly appearing condoms?

i'm still weighing the pro's and cons of pills though, as I'm a little bit afraid of the side effects. i need to ask my doctor if she can help me choose.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I always make sure there are condoms on hand.

If I only have a few left, I will buy another pack or two (usually buying 2 or 3 packs at a time..) but if we are out or in a position where there are no condoms available we stop before things get too hot and heavy.

[Rose21]

You should try a low estrogen one.

 

Depoprovera is horrible.

 

But I've been on Ortho-Tricelen Lo for 5 months and it's been working fine for me.

 

I reccomend the combination pill, because just the progesterin one is only about 90-95% affective. The combination one can cause side affects, but usualy you will always experience mild ones the 1st month no matter what until your body gets used to it. Go with a low estrogen one, it's the same amount effective as all the others with full estrogen.

 

If you think you may be sensitive, don't try Yaz. It's supposed to be the wonder pill, but there is also added ingredients to clear up your skin, meaning more potential for side affects.

 

And don't take something where it promises just a few periods a year, that will screw your body up and you will always have break through.

[Applewhite]

thanks, your right. i think i need to take buying condoms into my own hands. ugh. i hate going to the store for condoms. usually he buys them and of course a 3 pack will finish in a few days. but when they finish what does he expect. magicly appearing condoms?

i'm still weighing the pro's and cons of pills though, as I'm a little bit afraid of the side effects. i need to ask my doctor if she can help me choose.

 

Sure whatever works best for you. Not all women have side affects, but I have heard sometimes it's really bad (weight gain, nausea etc.) But I have had nothing but GOOD side effects all the years I've used it (clears skin, made me loose weight etc).

 

I don't think you should be the one buying condoms though. That is not what I meant. 'You' I meant as a couple. I believe men are responsible for the condom and women for the pill! Can't you make him buy it in bulk? OR remind him?

[southerngirl]

Yeah I'm with you. Doing it with no protection isn't worth it. Unless you want to have a child. I like the suggestion above that when you have only a few left that you go out and buy more.

 

You should just tell him at a time when you are not having sex, or messing around that in no way do you want to have a child right now and you will not have sex without protection. Have a discussion about where he stands in the event you should get pregnant too.

 

I wonder why he keeps trying to do it unprotected. I would worry that he could try to get you pregnant. Stranger things have happened.

[DN]

Ask him to buy enough condoms and give you some of them to keep by you so that when the mood strikes everything is set to go.

[doyathink]

We've had to stop in the middle of a heated session to go get more. lol

If you don't have any on hand, and he's up for it...he could get up, and go buy some then. But being prepared would be the best scenario.

[Applewhite]

Yeah I'm with you. Doing it with no protection isn't worth it. Unless you want to have a child. I like the suggestion above that when you have only a few left that you go out and buy more.

 

You should just tell him at a time when you are not having sex, or messing around that in no way do you want to have a child right now and you will not have sex without protection. Have a discussion about where he stands in the event you should get pregnant too.

 

I wonder why he keeps trying to do it unprotected. I would worry that he could try to get you pregnant. Stranger things have happened.

 

I meant to say all she said but I didn't wanna go there. But it is out. I agree with her.

[_Asti_]

I'd defenitely say get yourself on hormonal birth control if this is going to be a problem. If he can't control himself, and isn't buying enough condoms to last [they came in packs larger than 3!] then take matters into your own hands and protect yourself.

 

I've never had issues with things getting out of hand, or being risky. It's just not worth it and we both know it.

[Batya33]

When I definitely did not want to get pregnant, I used condoms with spermicide and BC.

I agree that you should always have extra condoms available and that if you don't it is not worth "the wait" especially since it's possible to get a period and still be pregnant.

[Laura11111]

So...he trys to make you feel guilty for not having sex with him when you don't have bc by shutting you down and ending the moment.

 

Clearly that's ridiculous and selfish on his behalf. Tell him that what he's doing is manipulative and controlling and then don't question yourself again. You are being responsible and not selfish at all! He's lucky you don't dump him.

[lady00]

I bought condoms recently for the first time in my life. I spent a lot of time investigating the different kinds lol. I think that you should just go ahead and buy some. It's really not that bad. Just get yourself to the pharmacy and buy some. It's easy I promise. I was a bit embarrassed at the idea at first but then I thought about it some more and realized that I was being silly and it was time for me to take charge and quit relying on my guy. It made things a whole lot easier because there was no risk of us getting all ready to go but not having any protection on hand.

 

Oh, and I am also on the pill, but I use both methods. Have you considered an additional form of bc?

[Applewhite]

So...he trys to make you feel guilty for not having sex with him when you don't have bc by shutting you down and ending the moment.

 

Clearly that's ridiculous and selfish on his behalf. Tell him that what he's doing is manipulative and controlling and then don't question yourself again. You are being responsible and not selfish at all! He's lucky you don't dump him.

 

That's what I wanted to say. Darn you said it so much better.

[_Asti_]

Also, when buying condoms yourself, you can get what YOU like. Ribbed, Her Pleasure, etc.

And if you're embaressed, do you have a grocery store with self checkout? No one even has to know or see you buying them.

[lady00]

 

So if I tell him I can at least pleasure him orally or something, and we can still have fun, he just "closes for business", zips up and says "no leave it".

I know it can be frustrating, but I don't feel I should be made to feel bad just b/c I'm not settling for withdrawal or some other risky method.

 

Some people do not like to get all riled up if it is not going to lead to sex. That's not the way I am but I know people like this. I think the issue is he starts knowing full well that he does not like to stop before sex and that there are no condoms available. I can see how that would be annoying for you. My solution is just to have an ample supply of condoms at both of your places. I don't think it's bad or wrong that he wants things to end with sex. It's just his preference and I think having condoms on hand will save you a lot of grief.

 

Now, if you do not want to have sex or are not comfortable with it for any reason, that is a whole other issue.

[Raistlin]

Heya Jecykll!

 

So, you remember 8 days girl? Yeah... no forms of BC there. Which I didn't know until AFTER we were done. I prayed every day for 3 weeks until she told me she had gotten her period and then I just thanked whatever forces are out there that I'm not having a child with a 20 year old psychopath.

 

Obviously, your situation is far different than mine was. But if he's not going to buy condoms and you're not currently on BC, then you did the right thing to stop it. It's his fault if he chose not to finish when you offered.

 

Personally, I always carry a condom with me. Not that I EVER expect to have random sex, but I've done it since I was 16. I feel that it's better to be prepared than sorry, and the few times I had one with my ex in strange locations, I was very glad I did.

 

Also, you mentioned he only buys 3-packs. They're around $7.00 for a 12 pack at Wal-Mart.

[DropToZero]

I heard this on Alien vs. Predator, but I'm sure it's been said before...

 

"Better to have a condom and not need it, than to need one and not have it"

 

...then again I've been trying not to have sex ...so I should probably try to get rid of them all.

 

Yeah no matter how hot and heavy it gets, and both my g/f and I've done this in the past, never lose your head until you're planning for a kid... a few minutes/hours whatever of short term ultimate pleasure is still not worth 9 months of unplanned pregnancy and a child when you're not ready.

[Taomagicdragon]

I wouldn't have sex and would exert self-control if I was inclined to such flights.