less attention ?

[a_lifters_life]

Ok, here goes a rant, I'm sure alot of you hate reading my posts now cuz I tend to post quite alot. Anyways.

 

What's with this power struggle ? I do not get it, especially with texting. And dont get me wrong, Im extremely technical, texting is greatt, but when it comes to relationships, esp. in LDRs where a girl uses it as the primary form of communication it is a horrible technology made.

 

Anyways, she is quite annoying with her power struggle in texting. It seems as if she is doing the bare minimum in talking to me sometimes. Just texts me to ask me how my day is going, Ill say great, or if she needs something. Like, dont get me wrong texting is ok, but too much without any phone in a ldr or very little is retarded.

 

She texts me like all day long. We'll respond back and forth. Then she'll stop in the middle of a convo and respond like an hour later if were texting like every 5 minutes. I almost always respond very quickly. Then, like she might text me and I might be working out or something .... I wont respond for an hour. If I dont respond in like even a half hour sometimes .... she'll send another text and sometimes even send duplicate texts. If Im really busy and dont respond after like an hour ... she'll ask if Im mad at her.

 

She is totally not like the clingy girl, but it's annoying I dont want to text all day. I told her I dont mind texting, but, Id think some time on the phone to talk would be better twice a day for maybe like a half hour.... she doesnt seem to get it ? Seems like the only time she wants to talk on the phone is right before bed. She's not EXTREMELY busy, and even if she is... asking for a 5 to 30 min phone call once during the day really isnt that much to ask.

 

What to do ? I tried talking to her about it, before coming to b**** on here ... doesnt seem to go through her head.

[Rose21]

Suggest you talk on the phone.

 

My boyfriend and I text all throughout the day, breaks being school/work. We tell eachother when we are going somewhere like work or school.

 

But he texts me when he first wakes up and then we text the whole day. We also talk on the phone around twice the day for 30 minutes or so. Once during the day, and once at night before bed.

 

Sometimes even more if it's a weekend or we arn't that busy. Twice is the minimal we talk on the phone.

[_Asti_]

Well, like it's been said before, you're dealing with a girl that doesn't exactly care about you, about compromising or meeting you half way. It always seems her way, or no way.

 

Have you told her directly, no beating around the bush, just straightforward "Hey, I'm not feeling this texting thing, can we do a conversation during the day and stop this texting conversation all day?" Anyone who gives a crap would be fine with taking 5 minutes out of their day to take about it, and not have a 6 hour text conversation.

 

If she doesn't budge, just add that to the list of things that she doesn't want to compromise on, or that is another problem for the two of you.

 

This should be a simple few minute conversation that should be resolved with a very easy compromise that was made. You shouldn't have to long on and ask what to do when your girlfriend doesn't want to talk to you for 5 minutes on the phone.

[a_lifters_life]

Suggest you talk on the phone.

 

My boyfriend and I text all throughout the day, breaks being school/work. We tell eachother when we are going somewhere like work or school.

 

But he texts me when he first wakes up and then we text the whole day. We also talk on the phone around twice the day for 30 minutes or so. Once during the day, and once at night before bed.

 

Sometimes even more if it's a weekend or we arn't that busy. Twice is the minimal we talk on the phone.

 

This is ALL im asking for and she says "oh Im busy" . I was like wowww .... honestly 5 to 30 mins depending on how busy we are . No other way to say it : "B**** PLEASE"

[a_lifters_life]

I did not say that, but I said there should be less texting during the day and atleast some phone chat. I said in a LDR communication is VERY important and a rel. communication based solely on text isn't good communication.

[Rose21]

Yes, in an LDR it is very important for communication. Why only do texting if you don't have to? I mean its not like either of you are working 24/7 or are in the army and texting is the only way you can communicate.

 

You should tell her how important it is to you, talking on the phone, and without it you don't feel a LDR has much hope. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't talk to my boyfriend everyday. And once a day for 30 minutes is too little for me.

 

Just call her, and provoke a conversation, or stop responding to her texts for a little bit maybe until she gets the message.

[_Asti_]

Well then its time to tell her firmly. If you've been non chalant about it and made a general comment, she probably didn't think you were serious.

 

If you want to talk, pick up the phone and call her. Be straight up and say I don't want to text, can we chat for 5 minutes?

 

I mean, I don't know how anyone would have a hard time compromising on this or not listening or giving a crap.

[a_lifters_life]

I never talked to her tonight, she said she was gonna call for the good night call .... I didnt pick up . You may ask why ? Because I sent her a text saying ' yeah ... im going to bed guess your too busy to talk to me all day ... good night' , etc and then she calls me LITERALLY 2 minutes later saying the reason she didnt call all night was " my phone was running out of battery and I would turn it on and text you then shut it off real quick " .

 

I believe this is a lie because I called her phone and let it ring 3x at two different times tonight and it did. Usually, if the phone is off or dead it goes straight to voicemail.

 

I hate drama, but she starts this * * * * with lies like that and its really just f****** immature to say the least sometimes.

[_Asti_]

You're both quite petty, to be honest. You both play games. You're accusing her of one thing, but you're sitting there not picking up your phone either.

 

You both need to grow up a little and stop the games and lying. You're creating the drama and its unecessary. Talk better and stop playing around, it will do the relationship some good.

[Rose21]

Tell her this is such a big problem for you, it may be worth ending the relationship if she continues on the path she's on.

[a_lifters_life]

Tell her this is such a big problem for you, it may be worth ending the relationship if she continues on the path she's on.

 

I'd absolutely hate to do that, but if she cannot treat me with the respect I deserve I may just do it soon. I mean come on your at a distance wouldnt you want to talk a little more often ?

[Rose21]

Yes of course. LDRS can certaintly work. But to do so, it requires equal effort on both parties, and strong communication has to be establishe. Other then JUST texting, you need to be able to hear eachother's voices, here the emotions that are being expressed. Maybe she doesn't want talk as much, because maybe she's feeling emotonally unstable now and she knows if you have a conversation you'll pick up on that.

 

But I also think that you shouldn't be playing games backwith her.

[a_lifters_life]

Yes of course. LDRS can certaintly work. But to do so, it requires equal effort on both parties, and strong communication has to be establishe. Other then JUST texting, you need to be able to hear eachother's voices, here the emotions that are being expressed. Maybe she doesn't want talk as much, because maybe she's feeling emotonally unstable now and she knows if you have a conversation you'll pick up on that.

 

But I also think that you shouldn't be playing games backwith her.

 

I know I shouldn't be. And typically I do not. But tonight, she got me angry enough where giving her a little taste of her own medicene was needed. I text her back right away as I stated in the OP but then on the off chance im pretty busy and i dont text her back in 15 mins she starts getting all clingy. * * * * .

 

Then when i do attempt calling her - she only calls back because I called. I mainly seem to be the initiator

[Rose21]

You haveto tell her how much it bothers you then.

[ghost69]

maybe before hitting the gym send her a text you will be busy for a bit and will respond when you are done.

[a_lifters_life]

maybe before hitting the gym send her a text you will be busy for a bit and will respond when you are done.

 

Buddy - I already do that.