found out my boyfriend..is gay?

[blondie100]

and sweetly....had been with my bf a few years going fine, although for a few months I have been feeling like he wasn't the one for me, although not enough of a feelin to do anything yet i did still love him...anyway couple weeks ago I read his emails (only time iv done it, but he had been on my computer and his password was saved...couldn't resist!) found some emails to and from this GUY at work whilst he was away on holiday, pretty intimate sayin how much they missed each others smell, voice etc etc. Anyway turns out, for the last month whilst we were together he'd got feelings for this guy (said he'd never felt this way about a guy before...) they'd kissed..and he was really confused etc.

 

Obv i was pretty shocked!!! We broke up obv.

 

Just wondering if anyone else out there has been thru similar experiences to me? As in found out their bf/gf was gay?? What have you done? It really is quite surreal when I think about it...

xxxx

[Hope75]

Hi There,

 

My first 'serious' boyfriend in high school ended up coming out of the closet after I caught him cheating on me with a guy friend of ours.

 

I felt hurt, but really how can you compare? You are a woman and he likes men. At least in that respect there's not a lot you can do about it. He can't help it if he's attracted to men, but he definitely should have ended things with you before pursuing them with someone else. Granted, I was 16 so I was really young and although I felt I loved him at the time, it was more like puppy love and I really didn't know what I was doing.

 

I think having feelings of attraction to someone of the same sex can be very complicated because not everyone is comfortable being open with their sexuality, particularly if they are afraid of rejection and persecution. But, I do feel for you.

[blondie100]

yes, i completely agree it is different, thats why I kinda feel weird knowing how I actually feel...like I wanna b angry (cos if it was a girl he'd cheated on me with I wld b!) but it wasn't and altho that doesn't make it any better it does make it difference. It is odd, but I kinda feel empathetic or something...like I wna tell not to worry, everything will be alrit and I don't hate him...hmm i'm not quite sure!xxx

[Hope75]

yes, i completely agree it is different, thats why I kinda feel weird knowing how I actually feel...like I wanna b angry (cos if it was a girl he'd cheated on me with I wld b!) but it wasn't and altho that doesn't make it any better it does make it difference. It is odd, but I kinda feel empathetic or something...like I wna tell not to worry, everything will be alrit and I don't hate him...hmm i'm not quite sure!xxx

 

Yeah, it's hard to know what to feel, isn't it? You can't really compete with a guy and it's not like he was out shopping for a 'better woman' or anything. I can't imagine how difficult it might be to find yourself having feelings for someone of the opposite sex and not feeling comfortable saying it out loud or admitting to it.

 

But, all the same he should have ended things with you first.

 

You would be very understanding if you forgave him, and you might feel better about yourself and how you handled it too.

 

The good news is that you have broken up, so you can move on now.

[Mutley]

My ex-wife decided she was gay after we were married for 7 years.

[riley123]

My ex-wife decided she was gay after we were married for 7 years.

 

Uhh, that's awful.

 

OP: I'm sorry your going through this. It sounds like it's a very confusing situation for all.

[Yackstovic]

Lucky you didn't marry him.

 

He probably has feelings for this 'dooch' at work. If I was in your position I would've talked about it to him.

 

Rofl @ Gardengnome - Not nice

 

-Peace