blindreepr Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 i didnt tell her to move out, I tried to get her to stay until she was about to find another place to stay in the city, rather than moving in with her friends who live an hour away from the city. She didn't want to. We argued back and forth. Things heated up. We didn't go out drinking at all. We spent the night arguing, crying, yelling. She's coming by later on today to pick up all her stuff. I pretty much set it all out in the living room. We have some financial things to settle before she leaves, she says that she doesn't know how to feel about talking to me today, and that if I need to say anything I need to make it quick and that there is nothing I can't say infront of her friends. Link to comment
abouttime Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 In truth what is there to say? Don't expect to walk away friends at this time. She needs to go out and be an artist. My son is in the Phoenix art institute. So I don't have anything against artists. Just lazy people who call themselves artists. Remember, you cooked, you cleaned, you payed the bills and she got a free ride. Now let me tell you what will probably happen next. In about 2 weeks she will call you. And be all nice. It will be after your next payday. And she will want to talk. She will be kind. And then she will tap you for a loan..just a loan mind you. Don't give her a dime. If you need moral support just send me a message. You need to save your money. For when you are ready to venture out in the world again. Link to comment
blindreepr Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 In about 2 weeks she will call you. And be all nice. It will be after your next payday. And she will want to talk. She will be kind. And then she will tap you for a loan..just a loan mind you. Don't give her a dime. If you need moral support just send me a message. You need to save your money. For when you are ready to venture out in the world again. If she does this I'd be surprised, she seems to actually hold it against me that I paid for everything. She said I was being manipulative, trying to control her. I thought I was being nice, and providing for her. She said it made her feel helpless. If she asked for money, I'd be shocked. Link to comment
abouttime Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Yet she ate your food. And apparently didn't mind you cleaning the place. Just what did she do around there so she didn't feel helpless? Link to comment
blindreepr Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 Yet she ate your food. And apparently didn't mind you cleaning the place. Just what did she do around there so she didn't feel helpless? nothing but feel sorry for herself. Pretty much all her stuff is gone now. She just has a few things to pick up now. I was going to be pathetic and wait for her to give me a time that'd she'd be there but instead i emailed her and let her know that i'd be gone for a few days and that if she wanted her stuff she'd have to work with my schedule. She was just as cold and distant as i expected her to be. I asked her if she hated me and she said no, that right now she just had to pretend that she did. I really don't think i'll hear from her for a long time, if ever again. I'm glad that this whole ordeal is finally almost over and that i can finally begin to move on knowing that i made plenty of mistakes along the way but that i really did put everything and more into trying to make this relationship work out. Link to comment
abouttime Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 That's the spirit. How long did you live together? I have a feeling you will hear from her sooner then you think. You were her safe place. You were her fan. You picked her up when she was feeling sorry for herself. I want you to remember this regarding your XGF. Where ever she goes, there she is. She looks at you like you were holding her back. You were only "perceived" as holding her back. The fact is she lacks initiative and will always look for the easy ride. You just stay focused on your future. And one day you will meet her on the street and she will be the same. But you will have moved forward in your life. The happier you get the more she will regret. Link to comment
Botched Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Wow...this is certainly taking it's own shape. I, for one, and glad. I would never excuse or recommend physical violence; However, in this case it sounds like you are guilty of being big and not taking an ass kicking. Men are made to feel ashamed of being men, and it's wrong. Throwing a person on a bed is not abuse. She might have liked the same force under different circumstances, and thats no joke. I wasn't there obviously, but this looks like a case of a little going a long way. You seem to want to feel guilty here. I am certain that we are all guilty of many wrongs, but perhaps you should reduce your field of sins to a handfull. I can't see that you have done anything so hard to predict. I told you the anger was dangerous myself. You are any man in a bad situation. You are not a monster, based on what you have said. I think you have a real need of counseling to sort out these vissions of perfection that you set out for yourself. It's okay to screw up. You needed to. Link to comment
Botched Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 That's the spirit. How long did you live together? I have a feeling you will hear from her sooner then you think. You were her safe place. You were her fan. You picked her up when she was feeling sorry for herself. I want you to remember this regarding your XGF. Where ever she goes, there she is. She looks at you like you were holding her back. You were only "perceived" as holding her back. The fact is she lacks initiative and will always look for the easy ride. You just stay focused on your future. And one day you will meet her on the street and she will be the same. But you will have moved forward in your life. The happier you get the more she will regret. This is something you should read everyday. "She lacks initiative..." preach it You were her "home." Now she's homeless...you'll hear from her. When she tries to use your guilty feelings against you, please know she is manipulating you. Link to comment
blindreepr Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 That's the spirit. How long did you live together? She looks at you like you were holding her back. You were only "perceived" as holding her back. The fact is she lacks initiative and will always look for the easy ride. You just stay focused on your future. We lived together in that apartment for 2 months. Before that she was staying at my place for 1 month and before we moved to SF she was basically staying at my parents house with me 4-5 days out of the week usually. So it really depends on your definition of living together. Wow...this is certainly taking it's own shape. I, for one, and glad. I would never excuse or recommend physical violence; However, in this case it sounds like you are guilty of being big and not taking an ass kicking. Men are made to feel ashamed of being men, and it's wrong. Throwing a person on a bed is not abuse. She might have liked the same force under different circumstances, and thats no joke. I wasn't there obviously, but this looks like a case of a little going a long way. You seem to want to feel guilty here. I am certain that we are all guilty of many wrongs, but perhaps you should reduce your field of sins to a handfull. I can't see that you have done anything so hard to predict. I told you the anger was dangerous myself. You are any man in a bad situation. You are not a monster, based on what you have said. I think you have a real need of counseling to sort out these vissions of perfection that you set out for yourself. It's okay to screw up. You needed to. I hope that truly the case and that I'm not as bad as I think I am. Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 same guy she cheated on me with before. She said they only made out, no sex. But that she doesn't want to be with me anymore and can't fake it for any longer. i'm completely numb right now and don't know what to do. Dude I'm so sorry. If you haven't already, drop her. You keep your pride, dignity, you're a man, and we don't stand for that bs. If she or any other women wants to get into that, fine, but don't expect us to be around. Seriously. I don't even know you, but I can tell you deserve 1000000 times better. You're young man, just like me, you don't need to waste your great years dealing with this crap, and women that are not going to return the faithfulness you give them. Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 whoops seems like I'm behind. I agree with the other posters though, I think you'll hear from here sooner than you think. Its good that you told her to pick up her stuff on your schedule. I don't understand why she would hate you, that doesn't make sense? She cheated on you twice Link to comment
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