i was right, she was cheating on me.

[blindreepr]

same guy she cheated on me with before. She said they only made out, no sex. But that she doesn't want to be with me anymore and can't fake it for any longer. i'm completely numb right now and don't know what to do.

[Mutley]

Sorry. Hang in there.

 

As trite as it sounds.....time will heal.

[lana111]

well be happy you didnt waste any more time on her trashy behind.

 

you deserve better. you will find better.

[Scorpion Fury]

well be happy you didnt waste any more time on her trashy behind.

 

you deserve better. you will find better.

 

Yup. She's no prize. She will probably do the same to him.

[PsychGirly]

Just keep reminding yourself of what she did to you, & don't let jealousy or anger take over, because she WILL do the same to others.

 

You weren't the problem, she was.

[riley123]

I know your hurting right now, but be glad this happened to you know -- at 25 -- and not after 10 years of marriage.

 

She cheated -- she's not worth your feelings. Deal with your pain, but focus on moving forward and just keep picturing happiness with someone new -- because it will happen.

[LW4E]

You die the way you live I always like to say.

 

My girlfriend cheated on me with someone else, got with him, now she's being cheated on.

 

There's plenty of women out there better and more worth your time than your ex, just take some time to yourself to heal properly before trying to start anything new.

[savignon]

Sorry, man. That sucks. But, to second what everyone else is saying....at least now you know and won't waste anymore of your time. Time to get looking for a girl you deserve!!

[JadedStar]

you can't see this now but she made it much easier on you. now you don't have to be the one to dump her...and i know you were having a tough time pulling yourself together to do that. her breaking up is a blessing in disguise.

[blindreepr]

I just feel so used right now. I paid for everything, rent, food, her bills, all the little extras like flowers, dresses and hair appointments. And all I get in return is betrayal and grief.

 

She is still out of town. And all of her stuff is here. I'm almost tempted to sell everything of hers on craigslist to recoup the costs.

 

I think I'm going insane.....

[blindreepr]

she said she'd call before 1pm, to let me know if she is coming home or not. I feel like I should change the locks, I dunno. I don't think she'd take anything that wasn't hers, maybe the Wii since for some reason she has felt entitled to that even though she gave it to me as a gift.

 

By changing the locks atleast I have some control of when/if she gets her things. I feel completely powerless right now.

 

I might be going crazy though.

 

I feel like we can either settle this as adults and mutually end this on both of our terms or I can be as petty and jacked up to her and I feel she is being to me. I don't know what to do.

[blindreepr]

we both knew this was coming, but I didn't think it'd be so soon. We made a written agreement between the both of us a few weeks ago. That come january we'd both go to counseling, couples and separately, she'd try antidepressants since she has been depressed lately. We decided that if the counseling didn't help that then, we would go our separate ways knowing that we truly tried everything.

 

Then she turns around and does this. Completely disregarding everything that we promised each other. I don't know what to do or think.

[blindreepr]

no one cares to be the voice of sanity? or is what I'm thinking about doing justified?

[mrmaximum]

no one cares to be the voice of sanity? or is what I'm thinking about doing justified?

 

You hearing lots of voices of sanity and they are saying the same thing. RUN!! Why would you want to save this? I hear that you are emotionall attached, but there comes a time when you simply have to close the book and move on. Not EVERY relationship needs to be or even can be saved. The feeling in the pit of your stomach will always be there if you stay, that is the reality of it. Life is too long to simply settle with your partner.

[mechie22]

I would personally change the locks and txt her letting her know your doing so. You need to do something to get back some pride in all this. Also make it clear to her she is not ALOUD to retrieve her things without you being there since I bet the lease is under your name as well as all the bills. You also need to make it clear to her that she is not welcome back nor will you take her back. To be honest thats the only reason she is putting you through this is due to her arrogance in thinking your will take her back.

[riley123]

we both knew this was coming, but I didn't think it'd be so soon. We made a written agreement between the both of us a few weeks ago. That come january we'd both go to counseling, couples and separately, she'd try antidepressants since she has been depressed lately. We decided that if the counseling didn't help that then, we would go our separate ways knowing that we truly tried everything.

 

Then she turns around and does this. Completely disregarding everything that we promised each other. I don't know what to do or think.

 

 

I think this is what you have to get your head around. That she made a conscious decision to disregard you and the relationship you had built by cheating on you.

 

Although she cares for you, she will never be able to care for you in the capacity you need her to. I agree that life it too short to settle. Don’t view this as a failure but as an opportunity to make a fresh start with someone new and build a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Don't settle for more pain.

[Botched]

Changing locks to your home...that seems fine. You don't trust her? Why would you? That all seems fine. Don't destroy anything if you can help it, but lock her * * * * out.

 

You seem to be going through a very normal/horrible phase for this type of problem. She has hurt you deeply, and that is a good place to start. Some folks have said not to let the anger control you, and that is good advise. BUT, there is anger. That you must know and accept. The anger is there even if a couple works through it, I know. The anger is dangerous, but it would be stupid to deny that it's there... and it's important.

 

You are not crazy! You are a loving person that just got blindsided, even though you saw it coming. You hoped, you wished and you gambled. I am very sorry that you are going through this.

 

Protect yourself and your home. Kick her out and recoupe what you can, sounds good. Give her back her personal belongings, a trash bag seems fitting The only problem is a fear of burning bridges. If you wish to honor her even through this tough time I think it can be achieved. That would be the high road....but what is yours is yours.

 

Any gifts you have given, defined by courts, can not be recouped. So be picky and honest and claim what is yours. If she leaves her crap there for a couple months you can burn it if you like.

[riley123]

I would personally change the locks and txt her letting her know your doing so. You need to do something to get back some pride in all this. Also make it clear to her she is not ALOUD to retrieve her things without you being there since I bet the lease is under your name as well as all the bills. You also need to make it clear to her that she is not welcome back nor will you take her back. To be honest thats the only reason she is putting you through this is due to her arrogance in thinking your will take her back.

 

Yes, I agree with this. If you are concerned that she will help herself to things that aren't hers then don't allow her to go when you (or someone else you trust) can't be there.

[blindreepr]

i changed the locks, its 1235 and still no call, I guess I'll be hearing from her soon.....

[mechie22]

i changed the locks, its 1235 and still no call, I guess I'll be hearing from her soon.....

 

Just be strong and stand your ground firmly. She has walked all over you too many times dont let her do it again.

[blindreepr]

even if she does want to come back for a few months and work things out there is no way she can get into the house now without me, and I'm not sure how comfortable I would be with her being there without me, for all I know I may come home one day and find all her stuff gone and some of mine too!

 

I won't lie, I am a bit crazy. I guess I do want her to come back so that maybe we can go to counseling not to try and save our relationship but maybe to help me get some closure so that we can end the relationship in a less painful manner. I guess I never learn. Not sure what I'm going to do, man up or wuss out.

[Botched]

Thinking about you man. Remember who you are and rise above the moment. There are things you want to do in life and places to go. Great time to decide what you really want. She is gone and you are moving on.

[mechie22]

Thinking about you man. Remember who you are and rise above the moment. There are things you want to do in life and places to go. Great time to decide what you really want. She is gone and you are moving on.

 

I totally agree. Even though I know it hurts ,and its a heck of a lot easier said than done but shes made a fool of you enough. The best and most loving thing you can do for her and yourself is to let go.

[blindreepr]

is it possible to be addicted to a person?? It's like no matter how much my head tells me that I'd be much better off without her my heart cannot do the things that are necessary to get rid of her, instead it tries to do everything it can to keep her.

[Botched]

You don't bring her back to end it nicely! She will not stop seeing this guy, or some other. You would tell a friend to wise up and you know it. Look at this from outside for one second. She is a loss, even if you love eachother, this kind of total disrespect is a relationship killer. You see the good in her still, and that is what hurts the most.

 

Let her go...treat yourself with the respect you deserve.