Sexual innuendoes and teasing - examples and principles

[Imprecision]

A short post, with examples:

 

Ex 1. A few days ago, I was hanging out with a girl in her bedroom. She was showing me her collection of high-heels by trying them on and then walking around the room. I was kinda like, do this, do that, walk here, walk there, etc.

 

Girl, "You're so demanding!"

Me, "One last request. Bend over."

 

The girl bent over at her waist, so that I could see her cleavage clearly. Satisfied, I let her stand back up.

 

Me, "All right, you can go now."

 

"What was that about?" - she was confused for a few seconds. Suddenly, she realised what I did.

 

Girl, "You're so tricky!"

Me, "What do you mean?"

Girl, "You know what you did!"

 

Anyway, she pretended to be mad, but I could tell she was pleased about it inside.

 

My point

 

There are many types of sexual innuendoes. In the above example, I never articulated sex. thereforee, unless the girl chooses to articulate sex, sex is never articulated. But the girl knows, as well as you, that the underlying message of the interaction is sex.

 

Another large category of sexual innuendo is to imply that the girl wants sex.

 

Ex. 2.

 

Girl, "Take off your shoes!"

Me, "Take off my shoes? I'm not an object, you know!"

 

By implying that a girl wants sex, you accomplish the following:

 

1. You're parading yourself as an attractive mate, but you aren't explicitly pursuing her. thereforee, she can't reject you. More importantly, you avoid the problem of "coming on too strong," which sometimes occurs with direct sexual language.

2. By teasing her, you focus attention on her as a sexual being.

3. You set a fun, sexual tone for the interaction.

 

It is important to note the difference between these sexual innuendoes and direct sexual language.

 

E.g.

 

Girl, "It's hot in here."

 

Response A: You know - one way to cool down is to take off your clothes.

Response B: Girl, you can insinuate all you want, but I'm just not going to take off my clothes for you!

 

Response B is more subtle. I generally prefer Response B.

 

Or Response C: I know it’s hot in here. But that’s no excuse to take off your clothes.

 

Sexual innuendoes play into cocky & funny, too:

 

E.g.

 

Girl, "I shouldn't hang out with you so much."

Me, "Well, it's not really your choice, is it...I'm just too sexy."

 

This leads into vulnerabilities:

 

Actually, this is a very interesting topic. I want to expand on this in a later post. But note that amongst humans, softness is often a symbol of power, because only powerful people can afford to be soft. E.g. All the samurais playing with poetry and flowers. (Some people will argue that in traditional cultures, poetry is a masculine pursuit. That is true - however, in all societies, poetry has always been seen as a softening influence.)

 

(When I say softness, I mean that the person has a soft side which he chooses to display prominently. That person is often exceedingly virile in other aspects - e.g. fathering many descendants or killing many enemies in battle.)

 

Vanity implies softness. There were many vain people in ancient times. They could afford to be vain, because they were nobles. If they were commoners, then their vanity would get them beaten up.

 

Vanity is like a sign saying, "Come and attack me!" Only powerful people can afford to be vain - so vanity is a part of flirtation.

 

Back to softness:

 

E.g.

 

Girl, "I don't like you!"

Me, "I'm so hurt!" (Putting my hand to my heart.)

 

Note that both participants are playful here.

 

Human courtship is like animal courtship. There are set patterns. For some reason, while animals instinctually know how to court each other, many humans do not know how to flirt instinctually.

 

A big part of male flirtation is parading. This includes:

-Cocky and funny

-Playful display of vulnerabilities

-Sexual innuendoes - which, by implying that the girl is lusting after you, sets you up as the prize to be pursued.

 

So far, we've discussed two types of sexual innuendoes:

 

1. You explicitly imply that the girl lusts after you.

2. You sexualise the interaction, but it's not articulated, unless the girl chooses to articulate it.

 

The parallel in female flirtation is comments like, "You're such a player!" or "You're so mean!" or "You know, I shouldn't hang out with you anymore. You're a heartbreaker - I can tell!"

 

Btw, all three above comments can also be used by men.

 

Any views?

[purpleduckie]

the first one's a bit too much for me unless he's my bf, but i like most of your examples. i hate guys who can't flirt. such a boreee.

[Timebandit]

the first one's a bit too much for me unless he's my bf

 

On the other hand... if a girl was showing of her high-heels to me in her bedroom, I would probably assume that she had "something" on her mind already.

[purpleduckie]

On the other hand... if a girl was showing of her high-heels to me in her bedroom, I would probably assume that she had "something" on her mind already.

 

lol ya, that's why it's too mnuch.

[LBP]

Human courtship is like animal courtship. There are set patterns. For some reason, while animals instinctually know how to court each other, many humans do not know how to flirt instinctually.

 

One of the mots fascinating thing about human courtship is that through intelligence and know how, a man can accomplish his goal of mating with a woman despite a number of physical disadvantages. For the most part, it doesn't work this way in the animal kingdom. If your plumage sucks, you're pretty much SOL.

[epsilon2x]

Speaking of innuendos which are understood.

 

Alot of times when I take a girl home after we've been out or if we met at a bar or something when I get to their parking lot or wherever I'll just say something like.

 

Is it cool if I come in and use your restroom?

 

It's just understood when she says yes that more stuff is going to happen without making it awkward with me trying to get in or her trying to invite me in.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If a guy fed me all of those lame come-on's I would be out of there in a flash looking for someone who could provide more intellectual banter.

 

Is it cool if I come in and use your restroom?

 

It's just understood when she says yes that more stuff is going to happen without making it awkward with me trying to get in or her trying to invite me in.

 

I will have to be very mindful of this particular sexual inuendo next time I ask the male proprieter of a restaurant if I can use the bathroom!

[kaoticbaby]

#5393548 on how to treat a woman like an object and "trick" her into being with you.

[epsilon2x]

#5393548 on how to treat a woman like an object and "trick" her into being with you.

 

Absolutely not.

 

You are missing what everyone is talking about. It's about flirting and having fun.

 

Also it's testing the waters and making things happen unpredictably which is more fun.

 

Would you rather be on a formal date and a guy have no sense of humor than just ask something like "can I see your boobs?" or "are you ready to sleep with me yet?"

 

No, that would just be weird. It's about having some common sense. The girl is not tricked in any way shape or form. She is agreeing to let you do what you are doing without actually saying. "Come inside and f*** the living s**t out of me"

[kaoticbaby]

Ugh. It's all this "Pick-up Artist" stuff all over again.

 

Women aren't toys that you can manipulate. Yeah maybe some girls will think it's funny if you tell them to bend over so you can stare at their breasts, but others will not. Being flirty is a give-and-take. The above is more about manipulation, IMO.

 

I think I got the point just fine.

[D_Lish]

Girl, "I shouldn't hang out with you so much."

Me, "Well, it's not really your choice, is it...I'm just too sexy."

 

Girl, "It's hot in here."

 

Response A: You know - one way to cool down is to take off your clothes.

 

Sorry but if I found myself alone with a guy like this, I'd be ready for throwing up. One thing I cant abide, is a c0cky, self assured man ...who talks like he is Gods gift.

 

When a woman says it's hot in here, that is what she means, 'it is hot in here'...

Doesn't mean she wants to rive off your hers and your clothes.....that is no more than wishful thinking on the mans part!

[epsilon2x]

This has nothing to do with "The Pick-up Artist".

 

And I wasn't saying that I'd do that to stare at her breasts. He's obviously been comfortable enough with her for her to have him in her room. I can't stand women and men that think every woman has been tricked into having sex.

[epsilon2x]

Sorry but if I found myself alone with a guy like this, I'd be ready for throwing up. One thing I cant abide, is a c0cky, self assured man ...who talks like he is Gods gift.

 

When a woman says it's hot in here, that is what she means, 'it is hot in here'...

Doesn't mean she wants to rive off your hers and your clothes.....that is no more than wishful thinking on the mans part!

 

Guys take a joke. Most likely if a girl said it's getting hot in here and you told her to take it off she would take it as a joke. She wouldn't think this guy is super cocky, he's just trying to be funny and flirtatious.

 

Flirting came way before "The Pick-up Artist"

[MattW]

Yanno, I gotta agree with epsilon, here. The problem is, I think some of you are reading the OP's "lines" in the wrong context (which is understandable, given that it can be hard to read people correctly on the Internet). None of it even has to lead to sex, it's just playful little banter with sexual undertones. As for the bit about it being too "cocky", well, think of it like this. There's a difference between actually BEING cocky, and pretending to be cocky for the sake of a few little jokes.

 

Heck, I could see myself doing that type of thing, because deep down, I like to think I'd be a fairly playful, flirtatious boyfriend (were I seeing some one). Ideally, I want to be with a girl that not only knows that I'm just being goofy, but actually "plays" along with me. Yanno? It's just about being silly together, not about "objectifying" a girl.

[kaoticbaby]

i can't help but notice that it seems to be a case of girls vs guys here.

 

you say that these "tricks" work? that delivering these cheesy lines is all you have to do to have a girl interested?

 

well, i disagree.

 

and there is a difference between the type of emotional manipulation that the pick-up artist uses (which preys on insecurities, much like these little "lines" do), and flirting. if a guy who was "flirting" with me acted this cocky, he'd never even have a chance.

[MattW]

Well, here's another thing... Maybe this kind of thing is intended for people who are already at least in the early phases of dating. I could see how "lines" like this would come off a bit worse if a guy were using them on a girl he barely knew, let alone had a date or two with (and personally, I couldn't see myself being confident or comfortable enough to play around like that until I had dated a girl a little and we had both gotten to know each other's sense of humor more).

[LBP]

All you can do is play it by ear. The whole mating game is more art than science. That's why it isn't so simple as having the biggest feathers and gnarliest claws. We human beings can use our mind to make up the difference.

 

That means that occasionally you abandon the teasing/cocky & confident method so often praised in the internet PUA clique. That said, it does work a lot of the time. I think it works more because you establish a certain level of banter rather than you cause a woman to think less of herself...

[heloladies21]

Thank you for your detailed post. The specific examples help a lot.

[D_Lish]

Guys take a joke. Most likely if a girl said it's getting hot in here and you told her to take it off she would take it as a joke. She wouldn't think this guy is super cocky, he's just trying to be funny and flirtatious.

 

Flirting came way before "The Pick-up Artist"

 

Nah, I'd take that he was assuming he could get me to strip off easy and get me into bed.....thereforee, 'au revoir monsieur, there is the door, use it'

 

Haha

 

Seriously I'd probably just laugh.....but if he was the kind who kept on using these corny lines after everything I said, which I've known guys do that.....I'd feel uncomfortable in his company and be assuming he had a 'one track' mind...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well, here's another thing... Maybe this kind of thing is intended for people who are already at least in the early phases of dating. I could see how "lines" like this would come off a bit worse if a guy were using them on a girl he barely knew, let alone had a date or two with (and personally, I couldn't see myself being confident or comfortable enough to play around like that until I had dated a girl a little and we had both gotten to know each other's sense of humor more).

 

 

I will take it a step further and say that those lines would be fine only when you have gotten to know someone reasonably well (a lot longer than 2 or 3 dates) so that it is understood that it is joking and teasing.

[boo121]

This is all fine and well imprecision - just don't go using it everywhere all the time in every situation. But i guess thats the learning curve.

[thlocke]

I have a example that happened to me.

 

The girl I was with was talking about her sister and was saying she was very protective of her:

 

Her: "You can do anything you want to me, but you better not touch my sister?"

Me: "Really? I can do anything I want to you?"

Her: "You wish."

 

It's not so much as being cocky but just fun and out there.

[Truth317]

No offense to the original post, but I really don't use those kinds of tactics when talking to women. I might catch flak for saying this, but to me, it just seems kind of wack that I have to "be" a certain way or "act" like something I know I am not to appease others.

[Truth317]

Nah, I'd take that he was assuming he could get me to strip off easy and get me into bed.....thereforee, 'au revoir monsieur, there is the door, use it'

 

Haha

 

Seriously I'd probably just laugh.....but if he was the kind who kept on using these corny lines after everything I said, which I've known guys do that.....I'd feel uncomfortable in his company and be assuming he had a 'one track' mind...

 

Agreed. Line after line of "cocky-funny" is not really gonna work with a woman whose been through the trenches, is mature and top of her game. I promise you that. You try to spit that nonsense to her and she will eat you alive and send you're *** out the door with your tail tucked between your legs.

[boo121]

Agreed. Line after line of "cocky-funny" is not really gonna work with a woman whose been through the trenches, is mature and top of her game. I promise you that. You try to spit that nonsense to her and she will eat you alive and send you're *** out the door with your tail tucked between your legs.

 

True. But i've yet to meet any women who fit that description