secretness87 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 How long does it take for you to get over somebody? My boyfriend just broke up with me today. I sorta saw it coming sooner or later but somehow I wanted things to get better as they progressed. I guess it never did..but yeah. I'm having such a hard time getting over him. I know it's only been a few hours since we've been broken up but I keep crying on and off. Little things about him will trigger and it will just send me off into tears. I really hate this =( I'd still like to be his friend, he said that he'd always be there for me as a friend and everything, but somehow it seems like we left things awkward towards the end of the conversation but yeah. After a while, how do I bring up a conversation with him just as friends? I mean I know he broke up with me and everything, but I still know that he is a good person and I'd still like him in my life. I don't want to cut contact off with him completely but yeah. I know it's gonna be hard for me right now but maybe after a while I can talk to him again.. Link to comment
SpringTulips Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I don't know what to say to that. I am sorry about this. Maybe you can calm down for a few days, and when you feel ready, to speak with him again to see if friendship is something that can work out between the two of you. Link to comment
SighSob Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 You can't be friends with someone you have feelings for. Wait until you heal from the breakup, then contact him. But right now, I don't really see friendship as an option. Link to comment
secretness87 Posted December 30, 2008 Author Share Posted December 30, 2008 Yeah... I agree, I don't see friendship right now either. It's just really too hard for me. I still cry everyday about him, and I still have some of his voicemails saved in my phone that I'll listen to (Reminds me of that movie PS. I love you, where she listens to her late husband's voicemail) . I know it's probably unhealthy and I need to stop it. My friend was telling me to delete the voicemails but I just can't bring myself to do it yet. I'm not gonna contact him anytime soon, but probably just send a simple text on New Years just to wish him and his family the best of luck and stuff.. and just to tell him that I still care about him too, since I couldn't tell him that before we broke up. I really don't know when I'm gonna be over him. I lost my virginity to him too so I think that just makes it so much harder for me, and I'm really sensitive to things like that. Gah, I'm such a girl lol. But yeah.. I know I can't be friends with him right now, but in the future, I'd still like him in my life. I don't want him to be a stranger to me after this. Link to comment
confused_255 Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 its been 3 months and 6 days since ive been broken up with my ex and i still am no where near ready to be friends with her yet, its almost impossible, even though i am feeling alot better about myself i know the feelings are still there because i think about her not as often but still regularily, and im sure seeing her or talking to her will just bring those back almost immediately. if you were truly in love with your significant other and the relationship was good and the breakup was just a simple breakup, then it could take quite some time for you to move on and feel better. i would like to say many things to my ex and even just talk to her and tell her that im doing this no contact for me and im not trying to make a statement on that " i hate her" or anything for breaking up with me, i just need to heal, although thats just not an option right now, because i still need to heal myself Link to comment
secretness87 Posted December 31, 2008 Author Share Posted December 31, 2008 Yeah, I just need to heal. My ex and I were never in love. I hate to say this, but if we were together longer, I think I probably could have fallen in love with him. I guess it was better that he ended it now, than to wait until later and have my heart broken even more. I want to say that each day since the break up, I've been feeling a little better, but I still find myself crying at least once a day, and looking at his pictures, and listening to his saved voicemails. I know I may need to stop, but I guess this is just how I cope. I need to learn how to get past looking at old pictures, messages, and voicemails =/ Link to comment
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