Dating Again?

[abitbroken]

Well...my husband left me never to be seen again back in early October. He has now filed for a default divorce because he claims that I didn't file ALL the papers in. It will be final over the next week. I was upset because it was something he didn't even bother to fill out himself. Family members did.

 

Anyway, I have been going to support groups for the past three months and have been also really taking a personal inventory about what I did to contribute to matters and am able to separate "what I contributed because its always two to tango" and "self blame" of "if only I would have..."

 

I think relocating far away and being surrounded by family has helped.

 

Now on to the real question...

 

I looked at a couple dating sites mainly just to prove to myself that there ARE guys out there who meet my criteria. I didn't put a photo up, but did fill out somewhat of a profile because you have to to browse. I didn't think much of it, but I got a message from a guy who I find very attractive at least as far as his photos go. Also, what sort of surprised me is that everything he said about himself was exactly the kind of guy I have wanted to be with...even before I met my husband. He has the same stances on somethings as I do. You can tell by his writing style that he is intelligent and funny, and he loves many of the same things I do.

 

It made me so excited to read that I am very motivated to put the old make up on once again and socialize.

 

Anyhow, do you think it is wrong of me? I mean, we may not even ever meet because I can't find out what he is going to even say in the email until I subscribe to the site. But just the idea that someone like that would write me really just flatters me to know end.

 

Would it be "too soon" to meet someone with my life in such disarray (my head isn't in disarray any more. But i just am financially trying to get on my feet again). The whole idea of taking a year off from even thinking about a guy sort of went by the wayside for a minute there...maybe i should just stick to my guns afterall and not even bother.

 

I mean, right now, i don't have a lot to offer outside the intellectual department. I am not interested in a physical relationship right away (heck I would wait til marriage if I met the right guy and that is what he wanted) and I don't have a car yet. (husband took it)

[Band_Nerd]

I think you should give it a try. Maybe not anything serious at first, just see where it goes.

[abitbroken]

I think you should give it a try. Maybe not anything serious at first, just see where it goes.

 

Well..what is hard for me is that I am so picky. Previously, there are so many guys I would put out of my mind and never want to date not because I am snotty (a guy doesn't have to be gorgeous or have a six pack), but because I don't want to waste my time with guys that are totally wrong for me. I have never tried a dating site before and the fact that you get to specify criteria as far as faith, interests, and all that other stuff before you even agree to email the person makes it hard for me to think it will totally be just a date and not a second, etc, just to try it. In person, if i met a guy that I didn't know anything about, I would not recognize the "i like you signals" and that is why I think I didn't date a lot before i met my husband. I just thought most guys wouldn't be interested in me (i am not ugly by any means...but thought that the guys that met my criteria were looking for someone else)

[abitbroken]

i guess what it is...i am deviating from "the plan". My plan was not to date for a year...to really get my life where i want it to be...but then they say when you are not looking..