ready to go need some advice

[babyontheway]

I'm all ready to get out of this hell whole called life. Anyone know a good way that doesn't involve a big mess or alot of suffering? I don't really need any help just idea's on how to roll out

[DropToZero]

Well, why don't you talk about why you wish to die first? Looking for handouts on how to die quickly and easily won't be found here... we'd prefer people go on living the one life they've got, no matter how bad it seems.

 

If you've really got a "baby on the way"... I'd hope you'd think of that baby first, and how much he/she needs you.

[waveseer]

If you are pregnant and you don't want to raise your baby on your own, please consider adoption. There are agencies that will house, feed, and cover your medical expenses so you don't have to worry about anything except growing a healthy baby.

[DropToZero]

So you think you've hit rock bottom? or that you're about to?

 

The only way to go is up...

 

I'm sorry for what's happened with you and your child, but giving up... you'll definitely NEVER get to see your child then... How about keeping some hope, and instead of worrying and dying, start being more concerned... and work on your depression, depression can be beat... and not just with pills, pills are bullcrap... they're more like a band-aid, and the moment you stop using them, you will bleed all over.

 

I could give you a hundred reasons to live, but I cannot make you do anything... this is up to you. Your attitude, controls more than you know and can change your life... you can deny it as many times as you like, but you'd take the time to realize you're only agreeing with what I say by doing that.

 

Go to court, fight to get the rights to your son, work on your problems, and people do care... your child will care deeply about you... and you've not even met him or her... If you don't demonstrate that you can turn your life around, you're right, you will lose rights to see your child... so you'd better do your damn best RIGHT NOW to change that!!!

[babyontheway]

i do try but the fight seems pointless. i just feel my son might be better if his dumb ass father wasn't there to screw him up like his life is all screwed up.

[waveseer]

She cannot take away your parental rights because you are depressed, I don't know where you heard that but it would be the same as taking away someone's parental rights because they are a diabetic. If you start treatment for your depression not only will you start feeling better, but it will be obvious in court that you're on the mend.

[babyontheway]

i see a therapist once a week.... i just feel like my son might be better off without me

[waveseer]

If you were a kid, would you rather have a depressed dad or no dad?

[hossman]

i'm the father. The mother doesn't want anything to do with me and she's gonna use my depression against me in court so i'll never get to see my child. noone else gives a * * * * so why not leave

 

Half the world is depressed and as many as 25% or more are on antidepressants at anyone time.

 

Sure the mother might bring up your depression but that by itself doesn't make you an unfit parent. ESPECIALLY if you are under the care of a licensed professional and taking steps to deal with it.

 

People say ugly stuff in court ALL THE TIME. The judges expect it, they're used to it, it's no big deal as long as you haven't done anything really messed up. A suicide attempt would qualify.

 

Don't burn your own bridges. It's not as bad as you are making it out to be.

 

The mind plays nasty tricks.

[DropToZero]

i see a therapist once a week.... i just feel like my son might be better off without me

 

Not at all true... you sound like you'd be a great father, and you're very concerned and caring for your son... sounds much like a father I'd like to have around... not one I'd want to know abandoned me and gave in...especially when the odds are not all that against you.

[babyontheway]

well i've already had my suicide attempt. Apparently the ten beers, bottle of wine and forty advil couldn't do it for me. my son needs someone that can be there for him and help take care of him. Not someone who can't even take control of his own life. Some loser who can't keep control of his depression.

[waveseer]

Depression is an illness, you are not a bad person who has failed at being good. You are a sick person who is taking the right steps to become well. Give yourself a chance to heal, you can do it.

[hossman]

well i've already had my suicide attempt. Apparently the ten beers, bottle of wine and forty advil couldn't do it for me. my son needs someone that can be there for him and help take care of him. Not someone who can't even take control of his own life. Some loser who can't keep control of his depression.

 

Well, it's a strike but it's not the end of it.

 

You are getting help that you need, and again you won't be the first one to cross a judges desk that has tried to hurt themselves. It doesn't make you a danger to your child.

 

Plus you aren't going to walk into court and say "yeah judge I tried to off myself with ten beers, a bottle of wine, and 40 advil". The mother will say you did a whole lot more; you, at the advice of an attorney might say something like "I was feeling low, I took more pills and more booze than I should have, it was irresponsible but I am not suicidal now, and I do not think I ever was".

 

That's just a suggested outcome, but what I am saying is that you have options here. You just need to open your mind and see the ones that you are not considering.

[babyontheway]

wouldn't need to go in front of a judge at all if i wasn't here....

[hossman]

wouldn't need to go in front of a judge at all if i wasn't here....

 

Yes but one of the reasons you gave for doing yourself in is that you "wont get to see your child".

 

I am attempting to show you that isn't the case. That you can and will be a father to this child and be in their life...if you get yourself together and not make any bad decisions. How do you think the child would feel if one day it found out that it's father was gone even before it was born?

 

If you can't think about the health and wellbeing of yourself, think about your child. He or she will need you. Whether you realize it or not.

[abitbroken]

A close relative committed suicide. I will say that it is the absolutely most selfish thing someone can do. It scarred the life of a child who was left behind by it. As well as a wife, and lots of nieces, nephews, and cousins who aren't the same.

 

Your son will be devastated by it. Even if the baby is on the way and thus not old enough to know what happened, he will grow up not having a father, and when he gets older and asks about it, he will find out what happened. It may make him feel like he is responsible. That you didn't want to be with him and so you killed yourself. He also may wonder if something is wrong with him inside that his birth father went through with it. Do you want to do this to the child? It could trouble him in the back of his mind his whole life.

 

If you stick around, two outcomes can happen 1) You will be granted visitation of the son. Sometimes courts award it even if the mother wants nothing to do with you because you are demonstrating that you WANT to take responsibility for the child but the mother won't let you. You may not get as much while the child is an infant initially, but you will get it. or 2) You will not get visitation with the child, but when the child is old enough, he could seek you out, get to know you and have a great relationship with you. He could find out and it could be affirmed that you never abandoned him, you wanted him in your life so bad, but didn't get the chance. He will respect you as a man and could develop a father/son relationship that you never had.

 

I know someone who lived with her mother. Turns out her father tried to send cards on her birthday and other things but the mother returned to sender. Their brother found the father, and my friend cried because the father had in his nightstand every birthday card or letter that was sent back to him. Now they have aunts, uncles, cousins, etc that they never knew. In fact, some of these said relatives definitely knew about the childrens existence and were happy to finally see them.

 

So please definitely reconsider.