I think my girlfriend is cheating on me

[blindreepr]

It's been 24 hours since I've heard from her. The last text that I got from her said that she was at her parents house and heading to her sisters house to pick up her phone charger because her phone was running out of power.

 

Then as I am going to leave her a comment on myspace I see a comment from her friend saying "I had no idea you were so good at pool!" Hmmm, that's odd, there is no where to play pool in the small town where her parents live and she told me that the night before she just hung out at her sisters house all night and did nothing.

 

I called her parents house thinking she didnt get the opportunity to go back to her sisters house to pick up the charger, her mom answered the phone and told me that she wasn't there that she was in the city where her sister lives.

 

So, she lied about not doing anything, she lied about going to her parents house. And I can't get ahold of her to figure out whats going on.

 

The girl who commented on her myspace is more of a friend of a friend situation, she is friends with a guy that my girlfriend had sex with when we were apart for a few months a while back. They really only talk when that guy is around.

 

Things aren't making sense, and I don't know what to do. I left a message on her phone to call me as soon as she gets the message but who knows if she will. We live together so sooner or later she will have to talk to me. She is supposed to being coming home either tomorrow or tuesday. What should I do? I'm freaking out here and don't know what to do.

[annie24]

i'd trust your gut - whatever it says. you obviously caught her in a lie.

[lepa0822]

confront her camly, whatever you do dont come of as if you dont trust her. you will never get the truth that way. if you love her and she loves you im sure theres a reasonable explanation for the situation.

[hossman]

Maybe she played pool with the friend some other time..days or even weeks ago.

[einsteins_girl]

Has she done anything before now to make you suspicious?

[yeawutever]

Confront her about it. Even if it's nothing, it sures makes the SO think the worst.

[blindreepr]

Maybe she played pool with the friend some other time..days or even weeks ago.

 

couldn't have, her friend lives two hours away. they haven't seen each other since sept/oct. if they did play pool back then that would sure be a delayed comment!

[blindreepr]

Has she done anything before now to make you suspicious?

 

She's cheated on me with this guy before, no sex, just making out. the sex occurred during another break up we had.

 

I think it's time to call this relationship quits.

[einsteins_girl]

How long have you been together? How long were you broken up when she had sex with the other guy? How long have you been back together?

 

I think it's premature to end the relationship based on the little information you have, although I can understand your distrust if she's made out with someone while dating you once before.

[yeawutever]

She's cheated on me with this guy before, no sex, just making out. the sex occurred during another break up we had.

 

Then more than likely she will end up doing it again. That's a huge red flag you gotta listen to.

 

I think it's time to call this relationship quits.

 

Yes you got every right to decide what you want and what you won't accept in a relationship. If not for cheating then fore overly lying and deceiving, why the need to if you got nothing to hide????

[hossman]

couldn't have, her friend lives two hours away. they haven't seen each other since sept/oct. if they did play pool back then that would sure be a delayed comment!

 

That's what I get for trying to be optimistic for a change.

[littlestar]

Hmmmmm.....To many liesand to many things not adding up with her. Seems she may be with someone else so told you all these lies to cover herself.

[blindreepr]

ok, so either way, she is lying to me, and our relationship is nearing its end anyways, we were going to try counseling but now it seems like what is the point. My dilemma is that we live together and we are both signed on the lease until next oct 31st. I pay all the rent and her bills. She only works very part time and there is no way she can afford to move out on her own, not in the city atleast, though she might try to move in with her friend when her friend gets back from germany.

 

Maybe breaking up with her is a bit extreme before we have even talked. I've never broken up with her, she has always broken up with me for one reason or another. The latest thing she is saying is that I am the perfect guy for marriage, but that she isn't read for that right now. She says she wants to have an apt by herself, with a dog and just paint. That she feels like she needs to grow up and by being with me and me paying for all her bills is preventing her from doing that.

[hossman]

She's cheated on me with this guy before, no sex, just making out. the sex occurred during another break up we had.

 

I think it's time to call this relationship quits.

 

You were broken up at the time?

 

That's not cheating.

[jettison]

You really shouldn't be taking comments made from MySpace and parlaying it with someone your girlfriend's mom said and then jumping to conclusions. It's just pointless. If she's actually "cheating", and you have no evidence that this might be true, then there's a fair chance that the reason she'd be cheating is because you do things like read into her MySpace and check on her whereabouts with her mom.

 

The surest way to get your partner to desire and want to cheat on you is to put them in a cage, not trust them, freak out when you don't know where they are, and confront them over petty issues. If I had an untrusting partner, I wouldn't want to tell them that I went into the City for fun either.

 

Basically, I'm saying that cheating is in the cards for you unless you change the way you look at this relationship. This doesn't excuse cheating, but at the same time, when someone feels like they're being questioned and watched at every turn, their natural instinct will usually be to run... sometimes that involves another person.

[blindreepr]

How long have you been together? How long were you broken up when she had sex with the other guy? How long have you been back together?

 

I think it's premature to end the relationship based on the little information you have, although I can understand your distrust if she's made out with someone while dating you once before.

 

We've been together for 2.5 years. The first time we broke up for 3 months and she had sex with a coworker. The next time we were broken up for 2 months and she had sex with this guy. We've been back together this time for a little over 2 months.

 

Hell it was only a month ago that she was planning our wedding and she even bought a dress, lately she has been saying that was a mistake and that she isn't ready for that. She said she wishes she was and thats why she was doing all the wedding planning, but that she changed her mind. She is extremely bi-polar

[yeawutever]

That she feels like she needs to grow up and by being with me and me paying for all her bills is preventing her from doing that.

 

Then she's thinking like a teenager who's in casual relationships. She's gonna have to take care of herself and pay her bills soon or later, whether that be with you or not.

[blindreepr]

You were broken up at the time?

 

That's not cheating.

 

No, that is what broke us up. It went like this....

 

Relationship ----- Made out with this guy----Broken up----sex with another guy-----got back together-----broken up-----sex with this guy-----got back together--------now

[einsteins_girl]

She definitely sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. She might be right that it'd be good for her to be on her own and responsible for herself for a while. Not to say you shouldn't date, but maybe you shouldn't be living together at this stage of your relationship.

[yeawutever]

when someone feels like they're being questioned and watched at every turn, their natural instinct will usually be to run... sometimes that involves another person.

 

Yea, now I would not cheat on a psycho checking my every moves, I would dump him and ran very fast. That would creep me out

[hossman]

No, that is what broke us up. It went like this....

 

Relationship ----- Made out with this guy----Broken up----sex with another guy-----got back together-----broken up-----sex with this guy-----got back together--------now

 

Through all that, were you with a girl?

 

If not...she's totally disrespecting you and she always will.

[blindreepr]

check on her whereabouts with her mom.

 

I just called the house where she said she'd be and her mom answered the phone. I didn't ask where she was, just if I could talk to her.

 

Is that really that creepy?

[blindreepr]

Through all that, were you with a girl?

 

If not...she's totally disrespecting you and she always will.

 

I haven't had sex with anyone else during all that. I did make out with a girl, and she knows about that. But that's all that I've done.

[yeawutever]

I just called the house where she said she'd be and her mom answered the phone. I didn't ask where she was, just if I could talk to her.

 

Is that really that creepy?

 

In that case, that's not creepy, rather is her the one acting weird.

[yeawutever]

I haven't had sex with anyone else during all that. I did make out with a girl, and she knows about that. But that's all that I've done.

 

While you guys were broken up right?