Conflict over a friend, sort of <_<

[IrrelevantElephant]

I have a lot of friends that I have never met and have known solely online (from gaming or what have you). It might be hard to understand but after 5 years or so of talking to people online, they become some of your best friends and your relationships with them matter to you more than you'd think.

 

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years and she knows and talks to quite a few of these people on AIM or facebook or whatever. Well, my BEST friend, yes my best friend even though I had never seen him face to face, did some stuff that was just inexcusable and hurt me really bad. That was months ago, and we have not talked since, and I don't play on ever talking to him again. Reasons for that don't matter, but the facts are it is a huge deal to me.

 

My girlfriend, up until about 2 weeks ago, still talked to him every once in a while, and seeing his comments on her facebook or whatever really REALLY hurt me. I don't know why, but seeing him talking to her and knowing she was talking back was just a huge blow to everything and angered me beyond belief. When I would talk to her about it, she would tell me that well, it wasn't a big deal, he never did anything wrong with her, she's never even seen him so it doesn't even matter at all. She failed to see how or why it was such a big deal to me.

 

I would even say, hey, it's such a huge deal to me, and such a little deal to you, I don't see why you can't make the sacrifice to stop talking to him when you know it hurts me? I have stopped talking to multiple REAL LIFE people just for her, and that's a lot harder to do than to click "remove friend" on facebook.

 

Well, about 2 weeks ago, she told me ok, I'll stop talking to him completely. I wasn't surprised, because of how little of a deal she thought it was. Today I found out they still talk, quite a bit. LAST NIGHT she was in my bed telling me how she stays offline on facebook just so he doesn't message her (she brought that up herself, not me) and JUST THE NIGHT BEFORE she had written something to him out of the blue.

 

For the last 2 weeks, she's been lying right to my face about something that matters a huge amount to me. Not only does she not seem to care that it hurts me that they talk (mind you, it's not flirtatious at all, it's more of a weird feeling I get that someone I have excommunicated still talks to my girlfriend when they met online through me and don't really have a relationship to each other) but she lied about it too. She told me she has a hard time "being mean to someone" who has never done anything to her, and I think it's ridiculous that she would have a hard time just ignoring someone she'll never see, but it's still not QUITE AS HARD as telling the truth to/caring about the feelings of someone who loves her and would give up anything for her.

 

I don't really know what I'm asking for

[Anonymous122]

I don't know what to tell you.

 

I would never do something that could potential hurt my partner even if it was something I wanted to do. I expect the same. She's not considering your feelings, so maybe it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

[laisla]

i think you're in the right in this situation. i wonder what your gf talks to him about since they talk so much? i wouldn't stand for this.