What happens when....

[Sturmhouse]

What happens when your girl breaks up with you, cries for days, and then when you have a face to face shows very little emotion? What if she says, for the last few months of the relationship (long distance) she hasn't even missed me? What if she says she can't see herself with me down the road, and that she can't see me as anything more than a friend?

 

Is the love gone? Was there ever any love there? Will no contact actually make her miss me, if she didn't miss me in the first place? How do I get her to see me as a boyfriend again?

 

Help!

[SapphireNoir10]

Chances are. She loves you once, but she fell out of love. It does happen for whatever reason.

 

You need to put on a strong face and ignore her, going No contact gives her a chance to really miss you.

 

She might just be saying she doesnt miss you, and if she doesnt, is she worth your time and love?

[SighSob]

We're on the same boat buddy, if that can be of any relief. I don't know if no contact will work for us, as both our girls seem to have put us in their past already. They are moving on now and we are no longer in the picture. We keep thinking about a way to get them back but they're not even considering the possibility. I don't know what to say, mate. Maybe we just have to accept it. It's over. Look for somebody else. I know it's hard, actually right now it's impossible, but that's the only way out of the * * * * they put us in. Time will help, hopefully.

[Sturmhouse]

Chances are. She loves you once, but she fell out of love. It does happen for whatever reason.

 

You need to put on a strong face and ignore her, going No contact gives her a chance to really miss you.

 

She might just be saying she doesnt miss you, and if she doesnt, is she worth your time and love?

 

She is totally worth it. The rift in the relationship was mostly my fault, and the issues are correctable - I just need the chance.

 

I have a real hard time believing that she's already "over" me and put me in the past. We've been good friends for 6 years, best friends for 3...I just am SHOCKED that she would want to throw me away like this.

[SapphireNoir10]

Some people do reach breaking point, the best thing you can do is stay no contact. Let her do some thinking and see if she misses you.

 

Theres no magical way to get a chance, you have to leave her be, stay strong and remind her why she loved you in the first place.

[Sturmhouse]

Has anyone ever gone no contact and then never heard from the person again? Should no contact go on indefinitely until the dumper contacts the dumpee? What's the rule on that?

[centrino345]

umm... it really depends on the nature of the breakup. I broke up with my ex ex gf, to go out with my current ex. Through out the 5.5 years that I was with my current ex, I have never ever contacted her, but she had contacted me on several occasions. But, now after the current ex dumped me, i called my ex ex gf up. So, for me, I believe some point down the line.. they will reach out, but may not be for the right reason. As I called my ex ex gf because i was suffering from depression due to this current breakup. Hope that answers your questions.

[Sturmhouse]

Well, that doesn't sound like an example of what I'm talking about, because she DID contact you eventually.

 

I just have this unshakable fear that my current ex (2 weeks out), will just never contact me again. I find it so so hard to believe she would do that because we virtually got to know each other online and had such a good friendship, but the way she talks I feel like she won't contact me again. When she started dating me, she had broken it off with someone else, and I don't remember him trying to contact her constantly and she just never talked to him again. Although he did try a couple times BEFORE we started dating. Maybe it was because she was happy with me, and didn't care if he didn't say anything? I guess I truly just need to put my mind to sleep and trust in the no contact rule.

[SighSob]

Hey man, first off you have to understand that NC is to GET OVER the dumper, not to take it back.

She may or may not miss you during NC, but that's just side-effects. You know I've been going NC too to make her miss me at the beginning, but now I understand that I need to GET OVER HER, just like she GOT OVER ME, and like your ex GOT OVER YOU.

As soon as the pain will fade away, you can always try to move to light contact later (I mean, MONTHS or ONE YEAR later) and show her how you've changed.

BUT, keep this in mind, after a woman dumps you it's GONNA TAKE A LOT OF TIME before she even realizes what she has done. So all you can do is try to get over her. I know you love her, I love my ex too, but that doesn't mean we can't try to get over them. At least you have to TRY.