emergency, girlfriend just found out i was cheating

[yeawutever]

Yea, it's easy to vent out and say you don't deserve her, blah, blah when this is not what you're asking for but see you gotta be prepare for this since those that cheated are likely to get flame. I avoid replying to posts I will flame.

 

Anyways back to you, have you told your girlfriend what she means to you?? Maybe buy her things she like.

[MinziGirl]

Hmmm... my thinking would be: why are you sending a NUDE photo of YOURSELF when you are in a committed relationship?

 

OK... you said it was a mistake, right? Why didn't you tell her at once that you made that mistake & tell her not to be too surprised when she gets hold of the news? In that way, you might have probably have a very sour girlfriend but you saved the relationship. By holding it till now, you are running the risk of losing her completely.

 

Now you have to wait & see what happens then because to her, and to most otehr girls, that would be cheating.

[MinziGirl]

 

Anyways back to you, have you told your girlfriend what she means to you?? Maybe buy her things she like.

 

I would wait out for a few days to see what happens. Maybe i would call her back to find out or give it a couple of days to let it cool.

 

Try your way to apologise to her but don't push her beyond the limit.

[yeawutever]

Hmmm... my thinking would be: why are you sending a NUDE photo of YOURSELF when you are in a committed relationship?

 

Can be entertainment at times, getting turn on. See st times only real life sex with your SO can be the routine and thus kinda boring so you find the fun in exposing yourself, kinda like varying.

 

Then again, everyone has different views in what they would consider cheating. In my view if it's not done in real life person to person contact and doesn't include kissing to full sex, not cheating.

[mechie22]

See I have a biased opinion about this ive personally done the whole online chatting and all that with ppl. I agree I dont see this as cheating nor is flirting. Cheating is a physical act to me not a conversation on a computer.

 

Your best bet is to tell her everything and show her everything so that the OW doesnt sway her into thinking it was all your fault. Also try to show her how genuinely sorry you are and just be there for her, she yells at you just hold her. The last thing a girl needs when shes hurting over a guy is justification for what he did because, no reason is ever good enough.

 

I wish you lots of luck and try to control yourself if you really care about her.

[yeawutever]

Yea, I'm with you on that one mechie22, nice post. Hope by new year, she cools down and starts talking to you. In my view she's overdoing it.

[JadedStar]

I don't know why I do this. It has to be a problem that I have because I sometimes I feel like I can't stop hitting on other people even though I am with someone. I've already ruined one long-term relationship because of this. I really wish I wouldn't because I feel really guilty after hitting on other people.

 

Nah ....you can help this, you just apparently have enjoyed the instant gratification. People who don't cheat are not super human strnog people, they just know that their prize - their g/f or b/f - is worth far more than the instant thrill that comes from this sort of thing.

 

If you really want to cut this out, you can. Don't remove accountability from yourself by acting as if this is some infliction to which you have no control. You and you alone have FULL control over this.

[JadedStar]

If he's just joking around about it then it's only flirting. By the way he posted I first thought that he actually slept with another woman, but when I read it, I was like ''Ok, that's all, if so big deal everyone flirts around''.

 

if i had an SO who thought those jokes were cool I'd just rather be alone. Sending a nude pic followed up with "i want you" is NOT just flirting.

[JadedStar]

Can be entertainment at times, getting turn on. See st times only real life sex with your SO can be the routine and thus kinda boring so you find the fun in exposing yourself, kinda like varying.

 

Then again, everyone has different views in what they would consider cheating. In my view if it's not done in real life person to person contact and doesn't include kissing to full sex, not cheating.

 

So you condone this just because a relationship becomes routine? What about spicing it up with your PARTNER? going outside the relationship for sexual thrills, in my opinion, is the very definition of cheating. I surely would not want anything to do wtih a person who felt swapping nude pics was the cure to a boring relationship with me. I'd pack his bags for him.

 

Any relationship, even the best, can find peaks and valleys and smoe of those valleys you might feel a tad bored. the way to handle this is get creative and get spicey with your SO, not other random people by swapping photos and having sexually energized chats. That is a recipe for disaster and leads very much to emotional cheating. It surely won't help build the bond with your own partner.

 

I would be terrified to enter a relationship with a person who has this mindset. Since exchanging nude pics and sexual chats are not what you consider cheating i hope you disclose this in the beginning early on with any new b/f because chances are he won't agree. If he doesn't and he finds it cheating, it's cheating. I wouldn't leave such a thing as this to chance. Most people would leave a partner who engages in this. Better to disclose it early before someone gets hurt.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

To all those who say that only physical acts are cheating, you're wrong. Cheating is not just the physical act. A whole lot of other things lead up to getting up the chutzpah to actually sleep with someone else. There's the sexy talk, the deceit, hiding things, keeping secrets, having friends you don't want to tell your SO about, etc. It's a pattern, not just a single act. What the OP did is a part of cheating AND on top of that, if you don't want to call it cheating per se, then there's still another unflattering word for it - deceit. Lying. Keeping secrets.

 

Who wants to be with someone who does that? How long is it before they hop up to the next level of deceit...cheating?

[MinziGirl]

To all those who say that only physical acts are cheating, you're wrong. Cheating is not just the physical act. A whole lot of other things lead up to getting up the chutzpah to actually sleep with someone else. There's the sexy talk, the deceit, hiding things, keeping secrets, having friends you don't want to tell your SO about, etc. It's a pattern, not just a single act. What the OP did is a part of cheating AND on top of that, if you don't want to call it cheating per se, then there's still another unflattering word for it - deceit. Lying. Keeping secrets.

 

Who wants to be with someone who does that? How long is it before they hop up to the next level of deceit...cheating?

 

In short, ANYTHING which you CANNOT tell your partner about is cheating.