I'm giving up

[AlmostDone]

I think it's coming down to a matter of days for me now. I don't have the energy or will to continue on any longer. I feel as though I'm a fool and that the things I feel led to do don't matter. (such as helping others, changing their worlds, shining a light) I suppose it's my own fault that I've gotten into this position, but I have saved peoples lives before and I don't understand why there's no one around to help me. The people who know me don't know what to say and the people who do say something are insensitive jerks. I'm thinking about downing a bottle of booze and sleeping pills somewhere that my roommate won't have to stumble accross my body. If anyone has anything to say, feel free. But pedantic b.s. won't really make any difference and will probably solidify why I feel the way I do. I guess what I really need is a miracle.

[glegend]

I dont know what to say. I know how you feel. I feel the same way. I guess all I can say is just to keep living life as miserable as you can be. Thats what I am doing.

[the_wander]

Well, anything anybody could say could be boiled down to pedantic B.S.

 

Helping others can depress you terribly because you see the cycle that others fall back into. You wonder why you waste your time. I know, I face it every day.

 

I was there, but honestly, as stupid as it sounds I just changed a couple of small things. Found something that I wanted to stick around for. For me, it was a album I wanted to hear. It was a small, insignificant thing, but waiting for it made all the difference.

 

I don't know. New things, new events, new movements happen all the time. Find that one thing that is worth it to you to see or do. Make it yours.

[amipushy]

I don't understand. Why do you feel that feeling like a fool is reason enough to die?

[Ball Four]

I've been there dude right down to the downing pills in the woods because it would not make a mess on the roomies carpet.

 

My only advice is to find one thing you enjoy and build from there. For me it was following baseball. I bought the MLB package on directv and watched my team every night of the summer. I got invested into the team and felt like I could not jump ship. Maybe they would go to the World Series? You know what I mean? Eventually I stabilized and began to get out a bit. I'm still a mess but thoughts of suicide have been gone for a while now. And things are getting better.

[waveseer]

Whose lives have you saved? I'm curious.

[ad-mortem]

Well, when I was 16 I tried to commit suicide, and 2 years on I'm really glad I failed, because things have improved so much for me. I'm on medication for BP and I feel much better about life in general than how I did then.

From what you've said, it sounds like you could have depression or something similar. If you think that could be the case, please seek professional help before you hurt yourself, it's an illness just like any other and needs specific treatment, I'd hate to think of someone taking their life over an issue that could have been dealt with if they'd just seen the right people.

[homeagain]

a lot of people feel like you feel, but you don't have to feel that way forever. reach out to someone you trust, talk to a doctor or counselor, or call a suicide hotline. your local psychiatric emergency room is probably a good place to go to talk about how you feel. they can help you formulate a better short term plan than the one you are presently thinking about. please do not harm yourself. please get some help.

 

i'm concerned because you are at a stage where you have formulated a plan, and are seriously considering going through with the plan. this makes me feel like there is urgency for you to get help. it's hard to reach out to you on an anonymous forum, but there are people who care and who want to work to help you through this difficult time. you seem to want help, as you have posted here, now really help yourself and reach out to someone who can help you in real life.

[Maroney555]

My ex tried to commit suicide and he ended up having to get his stomach pumped (pills). He's living a great life now and is happy things didn't end for him. BTW, getting your stomach pumped isn't plesant.

 

There's always something to live for. Even if it's a stranger. I, personally, work for suicide hotlines and I will break down if I hear someone's "client" went through with it. Please don't... I'll cry for you.